How to move on after a major loss, such as the death of a loved
one, the end of a career, or a health crisis.
After author Melody Beattie's son died, she found herself
welcomed into new "club," a circle of people who had lived through
the tragic loss of a child. This was not the first club in which
she unwittingly found herself. Years earlier she found herself in
Twelve Step groups, first balking, then later embracing the healing
principles that she now credits with saving her life. But life, Ms.
Beattie writes, is all about change. Not only do loved ones die,
but once successful careers can careen out of control and
debilitating diseases can rob you of future plans. Smaller losses
can take a toll as well. The natural process of aging leaves many
people with a depleted sense of worth, and staying abreast with
current technologies leaves many people feeling ill-informed and
inadequate.
She writes, "There's a secret to get through loss, pain and
grief. If we're alone we can't see who we are. When we join the
club, other people become the mirror. Through them, we see
ourselves and gain an understanding of what we're going through.
Then slowly, real slowly, we learn to accept who we see in the
mirror. Then you become the mirror for them; by being honest about
who you are, you'll help them learn to love and accept
themselves."
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