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Frequent Flying Should Only Be For Birds (Paperback)
Loot Price: R251
Discovery Miles 2 510
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Frequent Flying Should Only Be For Birds (Paperback)
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Loot Price R251
Discovery Miles 2 510
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Donate to Against Period Poverty
Total price: R271
Discovery Miles: 2 710
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If you are a Frequent Flyer or an In-frequent Flyer, this humorous
book about flying is for you The author spent many hours in the air
as a Frequent Flyer and while in the air, he wrote down his
experiences which enabled him to write this book. Here comes the
Jet - hear the roar, Goodbye Honey - I'm out the door, See you in a
week - maybe more. It really depends on my direction, and if I can
make my connection. Dallas - Seattle - Portland - LA, that's not
bad in a single day. I've logged more miles than an Astronaut, And
here's some things that I've been taught. I can fasten my seat belt
in a flash, Buy cocktails with expense account cash. Eat a meal
from a plastic tray, or hear the pilot come on and say.....
....."We're expecting some turbulance....a little rough air...so we
advise you to keep your seat belt fastened and not leave your
chair. Be calm...there's really no cause for alarm...by the way,
we're running a little behind today. We'll only be an hour or so
late but you shouldn't have any trouble making your gate. When we
get the airport in sight, we'll advise you more about your
connecting flight " I guess by now you think I'm a liar but all I
am is a FREQUENT FLYER Written by the Author at 30,000 feet The
book contains humorous chapters on: You know you're a frequent
flyer when....; Frequent Flyer Dictionary; Quotes about flying;
Airway Rules; Airline Obituaries; Flight Attendant Humor; and
Flying Jokes. Here are a few samples from the chapters in this
book: You know you're a frequent flyer when.....You've named your
two children Douglas and Boeing.....Your ups and downs in life come
from flying through air pockets and thunderstorms....You named your
dog 'Delta' and your cat 'United'....You've only put 5,000 miles on
your car in 5 years....You rarely see the bottom of clouds. Here
are a few samples from the Frequent Flyer Dictionary chapter:
-Aisle: Cattle Chute that you are shoved and pushed down when
entering or exiting the aircraft; -Overhead Bin: A plastic
container that passengers mistake for baggage check-in; -Food Tray:
Something that can cause severe shortness of breath when the seat
in front of you is suddenly folded down. And from the chapter on
"Airway Rules." Here are a few samples: -Takeoff's are optional.
Landings are mandatory. -Flying is the second greatest thrill known
to man. Landing is the first. -The probability of survival is equal
to the angle of arrival. And a few samples from the "Flying Jokes"
chapter to keep you laughing: -Why does the Pope kiss the ground
each time he lands? Did you ever fly with Alitalia? -A blonde is on
a four-engine plane crossing the Atlantic. All of a sudden there's
a loud bang. The pilot announces over the intercom, "One of the
engines has shut off and we'll be delayed 45 minutes." Suddenly
there's another bang and loss of second engine. Once again, the
intercom clicks on and the pilot expresses his regret that they'll
be delayed two hours. Shortly thereafter, there is a third bang and
loss of the third engine and the pilot announces that they'll be
delayed 3 hours. The blonde then turns to the guy sitting beside
her and says, "Man, if the fourth engine shuts off, we'll be up
here all day " This book is a must read for everyone who flies and
who wants to experience the therapeutic effects of laughing. This
book will keep you laughing long after you've finished reading it.
General
Imprint: |
Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
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Country of origin: |
United States |
Release date: |
2013 |
First published: |
2013 |
Authors: |
Pearce W Hammond
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Dimensions: |
216 x 140 x 6mm (L x W x T) |
Format: |
Paperback - Trade
|
Pages: |
118 |
ISBN-13: |
978-1-4820-0422-9 |
Categories: |
Books >
Sport & Leisure >
Humour >
General
|
LSN: |
1-4820-0422-4 |
Barcode: |
9781482004229 |
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