Two-thirds to three-quarters of all divorces are now initiated by
women. The inescapable conclusion is that women are more
dissatisfied with marriage than men. Susan Maushart thinks she
knows the reason why. It's called 'wifework'. 'Wifework' means a
lifetime of undertaking nearly all of the unpaid domestic labour:
the cleaning, the drudgery of child care, the preparation of meals
and everything from tidying the underwear drawer to social life
management. In addition, there's the care and maintenance of men's
bodies, minds and egos. Being a wife, she claims, is a full-time
job on top of any other paid employment, while being a husband is
the sweeter end of the deal. Supporting her theories with excellent
research, the author also shares her own marital experiences with
us. In her first marriage she was landed with all the cooking and
cleaning and the marriage broke up. In her second marriage she
thought she'd secured a 'new man' as well as a new baby but rapidly
found herself playing out the same old script. When that
relationship disintegrated, she became a single parent and was
struck by the amazing amount of free time she suddenly possessed.
It was obvious that the help that husbands provide nowhere near
covers the amount of work they actually create! 'A resident man
creates extra chores, more washing, higher standards for cooking
and more organisation to suit his schedule.' Maushart suggests we
have been kidding ourselves if we think that marriage has really
changed. Sociologists have taken so long to discover 'wifework'
because of the exceptional camouflage provided by 'love'. Two other
factors have also hindered our recognition: men's willingness to be
cared for and women's eagerness to collude in this set-up. The
author suggests that if men cannot pull up their socks, the
prospect for the future will be that women will find they cannot
manage marriage. For women, becoming a wife still entails more
responsibilities and more sheer hard work than it offers privileges
or perks. The assumption that as women took on more paid work, men
would compensate by sharing domestic labour has been thoroughly
discredited. Inevitably, dissenters will find plenty to take issue
with in Maushart's position. What about 'husbandwork'? Isn't it
usually men who look after the car, fix the drains and grow the
vegetables? And isn't much wifework self-inflicted anyway - and
partly undertaken to give the woman a position of power? As with
any polemic, disagreeing is half the fun. Following in the
ground-breaking tradition of Ann Oakley's Sociology of Housework,
Maushart's research has resulted in a book that will fascinate
women everywhere in whatever kind of relationship they find
themselves. An enjoyable eye-opener that will provoke endless
argument. (Kirkus UK)
Becoming a wife will erode your mental health, reduce your leisure, decimate your libido, and increase the odds that you will be physically assaulted or murdered in your own home.
Husbands and wives may say that they aer committed to equality, but statistics show that wives still perform an astounding share of the labour in a marriage, everything from housework to sex work. In this funny, lucid, provactive and inspirational study, Susan Maushart argues that wifework, the restless routine of husband maintenance, lies at the core of women's disillusionment. If family life is worth saving, the job description for wives will need to be rewritten.
'Fast, funny and angry' —Mail on Sunday
'Maushart draws some disturbing conclusions ... Wifework is littered with highly revealing nuggets of information —Independent
'Citing research and opinion from a broad spectrum of disciplines, Maushart draws a spirited, funny, intellectually engaging portrait of contemporary wedlock. But it could, apparently, be worse: anyone who thinks marriage is murder 'really needs to try serial monogamy' ' —Daily Telegraph
'An exposé of the unfair division of work in marriage ... almost every word rang true' —Irish Times
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