"It's a privileged life with great potential, but if you don't keep
the upper hand it feels like you've taken a wild animal into your
home," says Teresa Oden, whose husband has been leading academic
institutions for eighteen years. Although the spouses are a
disparate bunch, Oden maintains that they share a desire to support
their leader-partners. It's no simple task. "The institution is so
closely entwined with the leader's life that it practically becomes
a third partner in the marriage. The spouse must learn to negotiate
with that fact." Oden discusses the ways in which supporting a
leader-partner differs from traditional helpmate roles. She
examines the reasons for lingering expectations-why female spouses
in particular are still expected to volunteer their time to the
leaders' careers-as well as the special concerns of male spouses. A
self-described introvert who needs a lot of privacy, Oden admits
that her adjustment to life as the leader's spouse was difficult.
"Today I can honestly say that there are parts of my role that I
treasure. I found my way, but I felt the lack of a book that spoke
to my experience."
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