Candid, first-hand accounts of couples who stay together despite
highly emotional gender issues. Head Over Heels gives voice to
thirty ordinary women who live extraordinary lives as partners to
crossdressers, transgenderists, and male-to-female transsexuals.
These unique women discuss, with honesty and great candor, how they
first learned of their partners' gender issues, how they've coped
with the emotions that followed, how they've dealt with concerns
about privacy/secrecy, and how they've handled disclosure to
children, friends, and family members. Far from a collection of
"happily ever after" stories, these narratives are filled with
pain, courage, curiosity, and joy as each woman struggles to
redefine a relationship that includes intimacy, social acceptance,
dignity, and respect. The women whose stories are featured in Head
Over Heels didn't know their partners were gender-variant when they
first met. Some found out early on; others learned of their
husbands' gender variance after decades of marriage. Some were told
by their husbands-men they considered "regular guys;" others found
out on their own, sometimes in shocking ways. Their stories
represent a wide spectrum of women's life experiences with
crossdressers, transgenderists, transsexuals who are nonoperative,
pre-operative, and post-operative, families without children,
families with children at home, and families with children who have
left home. But these women share one thing in common: each has
decided to stay in her relationship, exploring her new life with an
open, yet cautious, heart. Some of the voices heard in Head Over
Heels: "While putting my clothes on, I found a sales receipt on the
bureau from K-Mart for shoes, a bra, and stockings. My immediate
thought was that my husband had a girlfriend." "He dressed for me
one night and it was the worst experience of both our lives. I was
shocked and he knew it and that hurt him." "My siblings had been
aware of Trish's transsexualism for several years when she went
full-time. They have told me that while I will always be welcome in
their homes, Trish is not." "My husband may think differently, but
I do have a sexual identity. Actually, I'm real clear about it-I am
a woman and he is a man. I do not allow him to crossdress in the
bedroom. I married a man; therefore, I will sleep with a man." Head
Over Heels also includes historical and current information about
resources and support for wives of gender-variant people, and a
substantive introduction that includes basic information about
sexual and gender identity and related issues.
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