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"In the beginning, there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet." That’s the old story everyone knows. But now a new story is in the making. The story of Fray, sweeping a trail of destruction across the Carpet—and of two brothers on an adventure to end all adventures.
First published in 1971, this novel marked the debut of Sir Terry Pratchett. Years later, Sir Terry revised the work.
This edition includes the updated text, his original illustrations, and the short story that is the forerunner to The Carpet People.
There is a distinct hint of Armageddon in the air. According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (recorded, thankfully, in 1655, before she blew up her entire village and all its inhabitants, who had gathered to watch her burn), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. So the armies of Good and Evil are amassing, the Four Bikers of the Apocalypse are revving up their mighty hogs and hitting the road, and the world's last two remaining witch-finders are getting ready to fight the good fight, armed with awkwardly antiquated instructions and stick pins. Atlantis is rising, frogs are falling, tempers are flaring. . . . Right. Everything appears to be going according to Divine Plan.
Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon -- each of whom has lived among Earth's mortals for many millennia and has grown rather fond of the lifestyle -- are not particularly looking forward to the coming Rapture. If Crowley and Aziraphale are going to stop it from happening, they've got to find and kill the Antichrist (which is a shame, as he's a really nice kid). There's just one glitch: someone seems to have misplaced him. . . .
First published in 1990, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's brilliantly dark and screamingly funny take on humankind's final judgment is back in this new edition that the devout and the damned alike will surely cherish until the end of all things.
NOW ON AMAZON PRIME AND WILL PREMIERE ON BBC 2 WEDNESDAY 15 JANUARY - STARRING DAVID TENNANT, MICHAEL SHEEN, JON HAMM AND BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH 'Ridiculously inventive and gloriously funny' Guardian What if, for once, the predictions are right, and the Apocalypse really is due to arrive next Saturday, just after tea? It's a predicament that Aziraphale, a somewhat fussy angel, and Crowley, a fast-living demon, now find themselves in. They've been living amongst Earth's mortals since The Beginning and, truth be told, have grown rather fond of the lifestyle and, in all honesty, are not actually looking forward to the coming Apocalypse. Now people have been predicting the end of the world almost from its very beginning, so it's only natural to be sceptical when a new date is set for Judgement Day. You could spend the time left drowning your sorrows, giving away all your possessions in preparation for the rapture, or laughing it off as (hopefully) just another hoax. Or you could just try to do something about it. And then there's the small matter that someone appears to have misplaced the Antichrist . . . _____________________ CAST INCLUDES: Crowley - David Tennant Aziraphale - Michael Sheen Angel Gabriel - Jon Hamm Voice of Satan - Benedict Cumberbatch Voice of God - Frances McDormand
In Bovine Espionage and Other Stories, find out if a cow can go undercover and become a secret agent in the field. Where is the best place for a gnome to live in a tree or in a department store? How can a paper clip save the day? Join Buttercup, Rincemangle and more in this hilarious collection of short stories. Chucklers is a series of funny novels, short stories, anthologies and comics that make reading a pleasure for 7-11 year olds. There is something for everyone in this varied collection which is packed with fantastic illustrations. Books contain inside cover notes to support children in their reading. Help with children's reading development also available at www.oxfordowl.co.uk. The series is written by top children's authors and edited by award-winning author Jeremy Strong. The books are finely levelled, making it easy to match every child to the right book.
A flat planet traveling through space carried by four elephants balancing on the back of a giant turtle; a world populated by (mostly inept) wizards, dwarfs, despots, policemen, assassins, aged barbarians, vampires, thieves, witches, and civil servants; a place where technology, per se, is nonexistent but magic works . . . except when it doesn't.
Gleaned from more than two decades' worth of Discworld tales, here is an essential compendium of insightful musings, witty commentary, and sagacious observations by "New York Times" bestselling author Terry Pratchett, compiled by Pratchett expert Stephen Briggs.
An engaging classroom playscript. Johnny Maxwell, visiting the local cemetery, discovers that he can see the dead. He can talk to them, too - much to his friends' amazement. So when the news breaks that the local council plans to sell the cemetery to a property developer, Johnny learns that there are some things in life (and death) that are worth fighting for...
IT'S THE NIGHT BEFORE HOGSWATCH AND IT'S TOO QUIET.
Where is the big jolly fat man? Why is Death creeping down chimneys and trying to say Ho Ho Ho? The darkest night of the year is getting a lot darker...
Susan the gothic governess has got to sort it out by morning, otherwise there won't be a morning. Ever again...
The 20th Discworld novel is a festive feast of darkness and Death (but with jolly robins and tinsel too).
As they say: You’d better watch out…
Suddenly, condemned arch-swindler Moist von Lipwig found himself with a noose around his neck and dropping through a trapdoor into . . . a government job?
By all rights, Moist should be meeting his maker rather than being offered a position as Postmaster by Lord Vetinari, supreme ruler of Ankh-Morpork. Getting the moribund Postal Service up and running again, however, may prove an impossible task, what with literally mountains of decades-old undelivered mail clogging every nook and cranny of the broken-down post office. Worse still, Moist could swear the mail is talking to him. Worst of all, it means taking on the gargantuan, greedy Grand Trunk clacks communication monopoly and its bloodthirsty piratical headman. But if the bold and undoable are what's called for, Moist's the man for the job--to move the mail, continue breathing, get the girl, and specially deliver that invaluable commodity that every being, human or otherwise requires: hope.
*A brand new collection of short stories from the incredible Sir Terry Pratchett!* Imagination is an amazing thing. It can take you to the top of the highest mountain, or down to the bottom of the deepest depths of the sea. This is where it took Doggins on his Awfully Big Adventure: a quest full of magic and flying machines. (And the world's best joke - trust me, it's hilarious.) It took three young inventors to the moon (where they may or may not have left a bottle of lemonade) and a caveman on a trip to the dentist. You can join them on these adventures, and many more, in this incredible collection of stories . . . From the greatest imagination there ever was. Written for local newspapers when Terry Pratchett was a young lad, these never previously published stories are packed full of anarchic humour and wonderful wit. A must-have for Terry fans . . . and young readers looking for a fix of magic.
To the consternation of the patrician, Lord Vetinari, a new invention has arrived in Ankh-Morpork - a great clanging monster of a machine that harnesses the power of all of the elements: earth, air, fire and water. This being Ankh-Morpork, it's soon drawing astonished crowds, some of whom caught the zeitgeist early and arrive armed with notepads and very sensible rainwear. Moist von Lipwig is not a man who enjoys hard work - as master of the Post Office, the Mint and the Royal Bank his input is, of course, vital . . . but largely dependent on words, which are fortunately not very heavy and don't always need greasing. However, he does enjoy being alive, which makes a new job offer from Vetinari hard to refuse . . . Steam is rising over Discworld, driven by Mister Simnel, the man wi' t'flat cap and sliding rule who has an interesting arrangement with the sine and cosine. Moist will have to grapple with gallons of grease, goblins, a fat controller with a history of throwing employees down the stairs and some very angry dwarfs if he's going to stop it all going off the rails . . .
Widely thought of as the best book Terry Pratchett ever wrote, this is
a story of a Nation, a story of a friendship, a story of growing up and
the truths we must learn. It is epic in every sense . . .
In a city like Ankh-Morpork, where Assassins assassinate, thieves thieve and seamstresses, um . . . don't, Law and Order can be a complicated business. Thankfully His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh, Commander Sir Samuel Vimes (Blackboard Monitor) and the Ankh-Morpork City Watch are here to keep the peace. The finest body of men, women, dwarfs, trolls, werewolves, golems, igors, gnomes, feegles, vampires (and whatever Nobby Nobbs is) on the face of the Discworld! The Ankh-Morpork City Watch Journal provides jotting space for your notes, reports, observations and investigations, so kick back, relax and take down your particulars. To help you keep on the straight and narrow, you'll be aided and abetted by some choice quotes from Terry Pratchett's seminal City Watch novels.
In the beginning, there was nothing but endless flatness. Then came the Carpet... That's the old story everyone knows and loves. But now the Carpet is home to many different tribes and peoples and there's a new story in the making. The story of Fray, sweeping a trail of destruction across the Carpet. The story of power-hungry mouls - and of two Munrung brothers, who set out on an amazing adventure. It's a story that will come to a terrible end - if someone doesn't do something about it. If everyone doesn't do something about it... Co-written by Terry Pratchett, aged seventeen, and master storyteller, Terry Pratchett, aged forty-three.
TRUTH! JUSTICE! FREEDOM! AND A HARD-BOILED EGG!
Commander Sam Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch had it all. But now he's back in his own rough, tough past without even the clothes he was standing up in when the lightning struck.
Living in the past is hard. Dying in the past is incredibly easy. But he must survive, because he has a job to do. He must track down a murderer, teach his younger self how to be a good copper and change the outcome of a bloody rebellion. There's a problem: if he wins, he's got no wife, no child, no future.
A Discworld Tale of One City, with a full chorus of street urchins, ladies of negotiable affection, rebels, secret policemen and other children of the revolution.
The first Discworld novel, revamped for a new generation of
A man with no eyes. No eyes at all. Two tunnels in his head...It's not easy being a witch, and it's certainly not all whizzing about on broomsticks, but Tiffany Aching - teen witch - is doing her best. Until something evil wakes up, something that stirs up all the old stories about nasty old witches, so that just wearing a pointy hat suddenly seems a very bad idea. Worse still, this evil ghost from the past is hunting down one witch in particular. He's hunting for Tiffany. And he's found her...A fabulous Discworld title filled with witches and magic and told in the inimitable Terry Pratchett style, I Shall Wear Midnight is the fourth Discworld title to feature Tiffany and her tiny, fightin', boozin' pictsie friends, the Nac Mac Feegle (aka The Wee Free Men).
SAM VIMES IS A MAN ON THE RUN. YESTERDAY HE WAS A DUKE, A CHIEF OF POLICE AND THE AMBASSADOR TO THE MYSTERIOUS FAT-RICH COUNTRY OF UBERWALD.
Now he has nothing but his native wit and the gloomy trousers of Uncle Vanya (don't ask). It's snowing. It's freezing. And if he can't make it through the forest to civilization there's going to be a terrible war.
But there are monsters on his trail. They're bright. They're fast. They're werewolves - and they're catching up.
The Fifth Elephant is Terry Pratchett's latest installment in the Discworld cycle, this time starring dwarfs, diplomacy, intrigue and big lumps of fat.
Do you believe in magic? Can you imagine a war between wizards, a rebellious ant called 4179003, or a time-travelling television? Can you imagine that poor old Mr Swimble could see a mysterious vacuum cleaner in the morning, and make cheese sandwiches and yellow elephants magically appear by the afternoon? Welcome to the wonderful world of Sir Terry Pratchett, and fourteen fantastically funny tales from the master storyteller. Bursting from these pages are food fights, pirates, bouncing rabbits and magical pigeons. And a witch riding a vacuum cleaner, of course. 'One of the most consistently funny writers around' Guardian
There is a hint of Armageddon in the air. According to the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch (recorded, thankfully, in 1655, before she blew up her entire village and all its inhabitants, who had gathered to watch her burn), the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact.
So the Armies of Good and Evil are massing, the four Bikers of the Apocalypse are revving up their mighty hogs and hitting the road, and the world's last two remaining witchfinders are getting ready to Fight the Good Fight.
Atlantis is rising. Frogs are falling. Tempers are flaring, and everything appears to be going to Divine Plan. Except that a somewhat fussy angel and a fast-living demon are not particularly looking forward to the coming Rapture. They've lived amongst Humanity for millennia, and have grown rather fond of the lifestyle. So if Crowley and Aziraphale are going to stop it from happening, they've got to find and kill the AntiChrist (which is a shame, really, as he's a nice kid). There's just one glitch: someone seems to have misplaced him.
Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman's brilliantly dark and funny take on mankind's final judgment is back, in a new hardcover edition which includes an introduction by the authors.
THERE'S A WEREWOLF WITH PRE-LUNAR TENSION IN ANKH-MORPORK. AND A DWARF WITH ATTITUDE AND A GOLEM WHO'S BEGUN TO THINK FOR ITSELF.
But for Commander Vimes, Head of Ankh-Morpork City Watch, that's only the start...
There's treason in the air.
A crime has happened.
He's not only got to find out whodunit, but howdunit too. He's not even sure what they dun. But as soon as he knows what the questions are, he's going to want some answers.
MIGHTY BATTLES! REVOLUTION! DEATH! WAR! (AND HIS SONS TERROR AND PANIC, AND DAUGHTER CLANCY) The oldest and most inscrutable empire on the Discworld is in turmoil, brought about by the revolutionary treatise What I did on My Holidays. Workers are uniting, with nothing to lose but their water buffaloes. Warlords are struggling for power. War (and Clancy) are spreading throughout the ancient cities. And all that stands in the way of terrible doom for everyone is: Rincewind the Wizard, who can't even spell the word 'wizard'... Cohen the barbarian hero, five foot tall in his surgical sandals, who has had a lifetime's experience of not dying... ...and a very special butterfly.
'Be a MAN in the City Watch! The City Watch needs MEN!'
But what it's got includes Corporal Carrot (technically a dwarf), Lance-constable Cuddy (really a dwarf), Lance-constable Detritus (a troll), Lance-constable Angua (a woman…most of the time) and Corporal Nobbs (disqualified from the human race for shoving).
And they need all the help they can get. Because they've only got twenty-four hours to clean up the town and this is Ankh-Morpork we're talking about…
In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was: "Hey, you!" For Brutha the novice is the Chosen One. He wants peace and justice and brotherly love. He also wants the Inquisition to stop torturing him now, please...
This is where the dragons went. They lie…not dead, not asleep, but…dormant. And although the space they occupy isn't like normal space, nevertheless they are packed in tightly. They could put you in mind of a can of sardines, if you thought sardines were huge and scaly. And presumably, somewhere, there's a key...
Guards! Guards! is the eighth Discworld novel - and after this, dragons will never be the same again!
Being trained by the Assassins' Guild in Ankh-Morpork did not fit Teppic for the task assigned to him by fate. He inherited the throne of the desert kingdom of Djelibeybi rather earlier than he expected (his father wasn't too happy about it either), but that was only the beginning of his problems...
Pyramids (the book of going forth) is the seventh Discworld novel - and the most outrageously funny to date.
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