That's right: Serge and Coleman do spring break!

One spring break location obviously isn't enough for Serge A. Storms, so he must hit them all, traveling through various historic locales, spewing nuggets of history at anyone who won't run away, and dispensing his own signature brand of Sunshine State justice.

Along the trail, he and his sidekick, Coleman, attract a growing following of the nation's top college students . . . and a mysterious gang that leaves a trail of young bodies in its wake.

Then there are the coke smugglers gone legit and a pair of the most dangerously sexy bartenders ever to mix a rum runner. After years of quiet, a legendary Miami kingpin from the anything-goes eighties is suddenly back in the news . . . along with one of the state's most psychotic monsters. So pack the cooler, load the car, and head to where the water is warm for a spring vacation you won't soon forget--no matter how much you might try!

Local trivia buff Serge loves inflicting pain.

Drug-addled Coleman, his partner in crime, loves cartoons.

Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with dead men's money.

Then there's Sean and David, who love fishing -- and helping turtles cross busy thoroughfares. Unfortunately, they're about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen money.

Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs ... and the suitcase. A hitman wants Satan to reign supreme. A slimy insurance-frauding dentist wants his fingers back. In the meantime, there's murder by gun, Space Shuttle, Barbie doll, and Levi's 501s.

Welcome to Florida!

I'm dreaming of a Serge Christmas . . . It's ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents. But before that, it's all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there's that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves--they bite). So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!

Few can give with the generosity and creativity of bighearted psychopath Serge Storms. Like Santa, Serge knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. As December 24 rolls around, he is to be found filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents. Dorsey offers the perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday stories with this zany blockbuster extravaganza in which his wonderfully deranged local historian-serial killer delivers his special brand of Christmas cheer. More outrageous than Santa Claus in a Speedo, When Elves Attack serves up a Yuletide feast of the “pure gonzo humor� the New York Times Book Review enthusiastically attributes to this fearlessly funny writer. Welcome to Tim Dorsey’s slice of America – where nobody gets out unscathed and un-Santa-Claused! What people are saying about Serge Storms: “Over-the-top, off-the-wall, too-much-is-never-enough, Florida insanity was never described so authentically and with such enthusiasm.� “Humor really doesn't get better than this. Dorsey has a style all to his own that is simply not replicated anywhere.� “Serge and Coleman are a match made in heaven and I am still laughing … truly a great read and I can't wait to delve into more of Dorsey's work.� “This is Pulp Fiction on steroids with an acid tab chaser. There is insanity on every page and every page is a good time. Twists and turns, and some of the most creative homicidal mayhem I have ever read.� “… for pure pleasure and entertainment you just can't beat the maniacal style of the Serge Storm series.� Editorial reviews: “Hilarious. ... Serge Storms is, hands down, one of the most original and just-plain-captivating characters in modern crime fiction.� Booklist “Entertaining … funny … irreverent and loving at the same time … [Dorsey] leaves the reader gasping for breath.� Washington Post Book World “The characters in Tim Dorsey’s raucous novel would be shot on sight in any other state.� The New York Times Book Review “Excellent … I almost exploded with laughter as I read Dorsey’s novel. It’s manic, hysterical, and puts Dorsey well up there with the cream of comic writers who seem to have made Florida the centre for satirizing America in the 21st century.� Independent “Twisted hilarity … a compelling page-turner … Tim Dorsey is one sick bunny.� Belfast News Letter

Miami sets the weirdness bar, and Serge Storms is back in action and ready to pole vault over it.

First, there's the media frenzy over the "Hollow Man," a gutless corpse found on the beach. And yet people aren't dazed to find dead sharks in downtown boulevards. Could this be the work of Serge? And why is he photographing foreign consulates right before a critical summit comes to town? Is it because Serge wants to become a spy? He senses that something big is about to go down in Miami that might involve a recently reactivated CIA cell.

The intelligence community isn't amused and wants answers. How did Serge and his sidekick, Coleman, get cozy with the president of a banana republic? And when did everyone in the city forget how to drive? Meanwhile, a mysterious man is shipping military arms, causing Homeland Security to take measures. The chaos escalates as Serge hurtles everyone toward a fateful climax, destined for the summit jamboree on Biscayne Bay.

Put on your favorite pink flamingo shirt and find all the answers in . . . Pineapple Grenade

The Republicans' "golden boy" -- and a loyal, unquestioning tool of the powerful special interests -- handsome, unthreatening, Florida governor-by-default Marlon Conrad seems a virtual shoo-in for re-election. That is, until he undergoes a radical personality shift during a bloody military action in the Balkans. Now it's just three weeks before the election and Marlon is suddenly talking about "issues" and "reform" as he crosses the length and breadth of his home state with an amnesiac speechwriter and a chief of staff who turns catatonic in the presence of minorities. The governor's new-found conscience might well cost him the election, though. And it appears that pretty much everybody from Tallahassee to Miami Beach is trying to kill him...

The drinks are on Sunshine State historian/spree killer Serge A. Storms, who's decided it's high time he got married. So he's motoring down to the Florida Keys -- the ultimate end of the line -- in search of Ms. Right . . .

and finding his doped-up basket case bud Coleman along the way. But for Serge, "getting hitched" doesn't necessarily mean "settling down" -- not when South Florida is crawling with slimeballs, swindlers, unrepentant jerks, and annoying bystanders whose ranks need some serious thinning.

His marriage plans fizzled, so Floridaphile serial killer Serge A. Storms is on a new mission: to convince the West Coast movie industry bigwigs to do their business in his beloved Sunshine State. So it's off to Tinseltown with his substance-sustained sidekick, Coleman--to schmooze with craven cokehead producers and visiting Yakuza, who are wrestling to salvage the most disastrous big-budget stinkeroo in the history of celluloid . . . and to radically reduce the rampaging population of true Hollywood slimeballs.

There's a different schemer or slimeball behind every door: cocaine duckpins who have survived only by the dumbest fortune, hard-luck gigolos desperate to score, undercover cops busting undercover cops who are running sting operations on undercover cops. And just down the row, local historian and spree killer Serge A. Storms -- who has stopped keeping up with his meds -- is still looking for a briefcase stuffed with five million dollars...and is now capable of wreaking more havoc than hurricane Rolando-berto, the big wind gathering force offshore, just waiting for the opportunity to blow everything straight to hell.

Pack up your bags and head south to sunny Florida. Leave your rational mind at home and come well armed. There's a room with your number on it at the Hammerhead Ranch Motel.

Thanks to the growth of the Internet, America finds itself plagued by a noxious epidemic of ruthless scam artists. Where do they all come from? If you guessed 110 percent of them are spawned in Florida, you win the cigar. . . .

When a new digital scheme goes horribly awry--causing innocents to die and a young woman to go missing--only one person can set things right: obsessive Florida trivia buff and reluctant serial killer Serge Storms. Aided by his perpetually addled sidekick, Coleman, and latter-day noir private eye Mahoney, Serge launches a crusade to rid his beloved state of predators and save the girl. But Serge's mission is hampered by one pesky little detail: he's being tracked by a hit man dispatched from his murky past. And all bets are off when Serge learns the same assassin is responsible for killing the love of his life years ago. It's not long before the two begin tracking each other around Florida in a frenzied Mobius loop.

It's a dance only one can survive--it's the Tiger Shrimp Tango

Ensconced in a lovely tropical villa on idyllic Triggerfish Lane, Jim Davenport anticipates the good life to come. But this isn't living -- it's Florida and the neighborhood is not quite what it seems. It's got overly aggressive Little League parents, drug-free Rastafarians, homicidal hookers, unnatural sex and casual violence. Oh, yes, and there's a psychopathic serial killer-cum-Sunshine-State folklorist named Serge A. Storms living directly across the street. So it's only a matter of time before Jim up and actually kills somebody ...

Serge A. Storms is back with a bullet, torn between homicide and souvenirs, cranking up the fevered action as the pot boils over on a street called Lobster Lane. It's reunion time in the Sunshine State, and we're not just talking the family jamboree of the blood-soaked McGraw criminal clan, whose nastiest, meanest member, finally released from prison, is heading south bent on revenge. Serge's drug-addled bud Coleman's here as well, torn between getting hammered and getting more hammered, while trying to construct the biggest bong ever. Meanwhile the government is covering up a growing list of mysterious victims across Florida who may or may not be connected to a nefarious plot being hatched against national security. Something has set the Non-Confrontationalists off on a rampage. And everyone is rushing to flee Tampa on a cruise ship to hell.

Brilliant Floridaphile, bighearted psychopath, and chipper tour guide Serge Storms takes a vacationing Midwestern couple on the ride of a lifetime

It's never really a party until Serge and Coleman arrive Cruising down U.S. 1, Captain Florida and his perpetually altered sidekick are on a mission to film the best reality show ever At their motel, freshly laid-off Wisconsinites Patrick and Barbara McDougall discover that they aren't staying in a pastel paradise. As bad goes to worse, a string of misfortunes renders them unable to leave the state, and they become very popular, especially with Serge, who believes he's found the perfect stars for the pilot of his new TV series.

Are the McDougalls safer with Serge--or should they take their chances on the mean streets?

Will Coleman get tired of signing autographs?

Can pelicans be used as murder weapons?

Is time running out for our heroes?

And, finally: What's up with Florida?

Stay tuned for the answers in . . . The Riptide Ultra-Glide

All just another day in Serge Storms's sun-splashed paradise Thanks to the growth of the Internet, America finds itself plagued by a noxious epidemic of ruthless scam artists. Where do they all come from? If you guessed 110 percent of them are spawned in Florida, you win the cigar. . . .When a new digital scheme goes horribly awry-- causing innocents to die and a young woman to go missing--only one person can set things right: obsessive Florida trivia buff and reluctant serial killer Serge Storms.Aided by his perpetually addled sidekick, Coleman, and latter-day noir private eye Mahoney, Serge launches a crusade to rid his beloved state of predators and save the girl.But Serge's mission is hampered by one pesky little detail: he's being tracked by a hit man dis-patched from his murky past. And all bets are off when Serge learns the same assassin is responsible for killing the love of his life years ago. It's not long before the two begin tracking each other around Florida in a frenzied Mobius loop.It's a dance only one can survive--it's the Tiger Shrimp Tango

All just another day in Serge Storms's sun-splashed paradise

With the growth of the Internet, America finds itself plagued by a noxious epidemic of ruthless scam artists. Where do they all come from? If you guessed 110 percent of them are spawned in Florida, you win the cigar. . . .

When a certain new digital scheme goes horribly awry--causing innocents to die and a young woman to go missing--only one person can set things right: obsessive Florida trivia buff and reluctant serial killer Serge Storms.

Aided by his perpetually addled sidekick, Coleman, and latter-day noir private eye Mahoney, Serge launches a crusade to rid his beloved state of predators and save the girl.

But Serge's mission is hampered by one pesky little detail: he's being tracked by a hit man dispatched from his murky past. And all bets are off when Serge learns the same assassin is responsible for killing the love of his life years ago. It's not long before the two begin tracking each other around Florida in a frenzied Mobius loop.

A dance only one can survive--it's the Tiger Shrimp Tango

That's right: Serge storms and Coleman do spring break!

One spring break location obviously isn't enough for Serge, so he must hit them all. Along the way he and his sidekick, Coleman, attract a growing following of the nation's top college students . . . and a mysterious gang that leaves a trail of young bodies in its wake.

After years of quiet, a legendary Miami kingpin from the anything-goes eighties is suddenly back in the news . . . along with one of the state's most psychotic homicidal monsters, every bit as criminally insane as Serge--except without the morals.

The mysteries continue to mount: How did Coleman end up with even more disciples than Serge? Can kids successfully climb fences while carrying pizzas? Will Serge survive the carnage, armed with a GPS and a kiddie pool?

Pack the cooler, load the car, and head to where the water is warm for a spring vacation you won't soon forget--no matter how much you might try!