The official Minecraft Joke Book is packed with over 200 jokes inspired by the best-selling video game in the world! BONUS: Includes full-color poster! Q: What's a Minecraft zombie's favorite vegetable? A: A human bean! Q: Why aren't zombies funny? A: Because their jokes are rotten! The official Minecraft Joke Book is packed full of jokes and humorous illustrations that will fill Minecraft fans' inventories with laughs and giggles. There's something for every Minecrafter, whatever their age. The book also comes with a full-color insert! (c) 2021 Mojang AB and Mojang Synergies AB. MINECRAFT and MOJANG are trademarks or registered trademarks of Mojang Synergies AB.

a Laugh and whole world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone. For this brave old earth must borrow its mirth, but has trouble enough of its own.a - Ella Wheeler Wilcox Colin McAllister was born in 1942 in Sao Paulo, Brazil but has lived in St Andrews since 1955. He was educated at the Abbey School, Fort Augustus and at St Andrews University, where he graduated with MA Honours in Political Economy and Geography. For 28 years he taught Economics and related subjects at Dundee College. He was Captain of the New Golf Club of St Andrews in 1999 and President of St Andrews Burns Club from 2005 to 2007. Golf is his main hobby, but other interests include Scottish history, the Gaelic language, economics and politics, good wine and malt whisky, and foreign travel. He published But Does It Scan? in 2008, Can I Scan? in 2012 and It's Quite Unscanny in 2016.

The Art of David Olenick 2023 Wall Calendar features twelve of Olenick's quirky and cute illustrations-with witty takes on everyday situations and objects. Food that talks! Pets in need of an attitude adjustment! Unhappy cookware! Disgruntled cutlery! This chortle-worthy content is sure to brighten each moment of your year. Features include: 12" x 12" (12" x 24" open) Printed on FSC certified paper with soy-based ink Planning spread for September-December 2022 Spans January-December 2023 Generous grid space for notes, appointments, and reminders Official major world holidays and observances Moon phases, based on Universal Time All new puntastic artwork!

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! What are dad jokes? Short, simple one-liners that are fairly clean. Anyone can tell dad jokes, but they are best told by dads. Now The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection is here and inside you'll find: - More puns, quips, and corny one-liners than ever that are sure to get eyes rolling - Hundreds of dad jokes that will make you groan--then make you smile. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. Now the dad joke aficionado in your life will never run out of puns, no matter how much you might want them to. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse. These jokes are so funny you won't even see them coming!

Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that 'it's in the way that you tell them', Dads - for the best part of forever - have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it's telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say - jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers - but don't tell your dad that, it'll only encourage him!

My mate was selling a television cheap because the volume was broken. I couldn't turn it down. What's black and white and bad all over? These jokes! Groaning with silly gags, classic crap wisecracks, naff knock-knocks, poor puns and lame one-liners, this book will make you cry until you laugh.

Hundreds and Hundreds of Jokes that Will Drive Your Family Crazy Nothing is more hilarious for moms, sons, and daughters than the bad jokes dads tell. (Well, at least he thinks they're hilarious . . .) Have you ever noticed when you're out to dinner and your dad takes it upon himself to antagonize your server with a lame joke? Has he ever made a pun that made everyone at a family gathering roll their eyes? Has he ever made a corny comment about things simply lying around the house? If you answered "yes" to any of the following, you're not alone. Dad jokes are at the center of all dad interactions and the core of every dad's persona. This comedic compendium compiles more than eight hundred of the best jokes dads can use to hone their craft and ensure maximum eye rolling. Included within are jokes such as: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food; no atmosphere. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality. With Dad Jokes, give your dad the gift of becoming the least funny/most "punny" guy in the room.

The iconic Instagram page @DadSaysJokes returns with a fresh batch of dad jokes to share with your nearest and dearest. With cringeworthy gags for every occasion, Dad Jokes: The Laugh-out-loud Edition is the perfect gift for Father's Day, birthdays, Christmastime and beyond. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with nearly 6 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added another fourteen platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme Instagram page @Pubity with over 31 million followers. This is his sixth book.

Resign yourself to the great resignation and just say "bye." BYE, I Quit is a blend of satire and encouragement to help you find meaning and humor to get through the workday. If you have had a recent epiphany about quitting your job or know someone who has, this fully illustrated, meme-worthy guidebook offers the inspiration needed to keep your chin up and tap into what really matters in life. (Spoiler: it's not your job). Sample entries include: Affirmations that you are more than just your job Meditations to keep you focused during your 8 a.m. meeting A flowchart to determine if you should send that passive-aggressive email Mantras for when you're burnt out Humorous illustrations of all the little things that bug you at work (seafood in the microwave, anyone?) Step-by-step guides for getting motivated or having a really good Friday Inspirational quotes to help you connect to your true passion and purpose Equal parts hopeful and snarky-okay, fine, it's actually mostly snarky-BYE, I Quit is a great source of inspiration (snarkspiration!) for anyone who dreams of quiet quitting or leaving their job altogether and finding the elusive work-life balance. Also perfect for anyone who just can't stand the hours of nine to five anymore.

A modern, feminist take on the classic joke book to amuse and empower women. If a tree falls in a forest and only a woman is around to hear it, does it make a sound? We’ll never know. The male forest ranger said it was a “she said, tree said� situation. Four comedy writers flip the script on outdated, sexist joke formats while delivering sharp commentary about the everyday sexism women and people of marginalized genders face. Building off their viral McSweeney’s piece, the book arms readers with humorous ammunition to deliver pointed blows to workplace underminer Gregs and Neanderthal Uncle Larrys, or to share with their aggrieved girlfriends. A cutting satire of the old-fashioned sexist joke book, Jokes to Offend Men is a refreshing reclamation of a tired form.

The perfect holiday stocking stuffer or gag gift for anyone on your list! May your days be punny and bright! When it comes to bad jokes, there's snowman like dad. Brace your elves for a winter punderland of the best dad jokes to make anyone sigh, groan, or roll their eyes! Filled with over 300 of the raddest and the daddest puns, quips, and cheesy one-liners, Dad Jokes Holiday Edition is the perfect way to sleigh this holiday season! Give the ultimate, laugh-out-loud dad jokes book that will make a wonderful funny gift for dads, husbands, boyfriends, grandpas, stepdads, or any pun lover! Inside you'll find the merriest jokes on winter festivities, Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year's, including knee-slappers like: Q: Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? A: Because they're Santa's star bucks! There are always winners and lugers in the Winter Olympics. I love Christmas, but New Year's Eve is stressful for me. My doctor said I had something called "Auld Lanxiety." "Dad, I'm hungry. Will the latkes be long?" "No, they'll be round."

Child: Dad, I'm hungry Dad: Hello hungry, I'm Dad! Celebrate the sense of humour that's so bad it's great with this ultimate collection of dad jokes. From cheesy one-liners to puns so terrible that they should probably be illegal, this book has it all - it's sure to make you laugh and cry.

The Brick of Dad Jokes is the ultimate collection of puns, quips, and corny one-liners that is sure to get eyes rolling. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! The Brick of Dad Jokes is an eye-rolling, groan-inducing collection of hundreds of jokes for the dad joke aficionado in your life. This book is jam-packed with clever quips and unbearable wisecracks that are so bad, they're good. The perfect gift for the dad who thinks he's heard them all, this book is sure to add even more jokes to his repertoire, for better or worse.

Gaming just got a whole lot funnier. What was the console gamer's New Year’s resolution? 1280x720. Why did Frogger cross the road? Because after an hour and a half you’ve finally completed the level. Why would a grown-up want to play Pokémon Go? Wynaut? This is a joke book for anyone who knows that AAA isn’t just a battery type, you don’t need scissors to do some crafting and that you don’t have to go outdoors to try camping. *Parental guidance: Occasional fruity language and jokes of a sexual nature*

THE NEW COLLECTION FROM THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERS @DADSAYSJOKES Q: What do cars spread on their toast? A: Traffic jam. The hit Instagram page @DadSaysJokes returns with an all-new batch of hilarious dad jokes to share with friends and family. Back by popular demand, with hundreds of gags for every occasion, Dad Jokes: The Priceless Edition is the perfect gift for Father's Day, birthdays, Christmastime and beyond. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with over 5 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added another fourteen platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme Instagram page @Pubity with its 31 million followers. This is his fifth book.

Another year, another set of exams and another round of well-meaning students to provide us with our textbook mix of wisdom and wisecracks. Bursting with yet more crazy and creative thinking, this book showcases an all-new selection of test paper answers, from hilarious misunderstandings to breathtaking ingenuity.

As an openly gay comic, Bob Smith broke barriers with an appearance on "The Tonight Show." Now Smith offers up his own original, whine-free perspective on being grown up and gay.In OPENLY BOB, the acclaimed comedian candidly, and humorously, tackles issues facing grown-up gays as they make their place in an overwhelmingly straight society. From bringing your boyfriend home to your father's funeral, to being the only gay couple at a family wedding, to surviving couples counseling, Smith's decidedly wry spin on the events of our lives resonates with keen observation and hilarious truth."So Mom says to me on the phone, 'Just because you're coming home for your father's funeral doesn't mean we can't have fun!'"Sex education, meteor showers, lesbian ventriloquist dummies, fleamarket shopping, body piercing, pot -smoking drag queens, environmental correctness, Judgment Day, Samuel Beckett, Newt Gingrich, Coco Chanel, Sigmund Freud--nothing and no one escapes Smith's incisive eye in this very human collection of comic essays.

From the cocreator of the celebrated Big Book of Jewish Humor comes a "funny...geezer-licious" (Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts) collection of jokes about growing older that makes fun of memory loss, marriages, medicine, sex, the afterlife, and much more--a perfect gift for almost anyone who was born before you were. Growing older can be unsettling and surprising. (How on earth did this happen? Where did the years go?) So what better way to deal with this new stage of life than to laugh about your new reality? Die Laughing includes more than enough jokes (not to mention cartoons!) to let that laughter burst out. Whether it's dealing with doctors, dating in one's seventies, or unexpected bodily changes (not to mention funny noises), some things are easier to face with a smile of recognition. That's why Die Laughing is the perfect gift for your parents, anyone celebrating a significant birthday, or any boomer with a sense of humor whose age begins with a six or higher.