"What do you think of my fiction book writing?" the aspiring
novelist extorted.
"Darn," the editor hectored, in turn. "I can not publish your
novel! It is full of what we in the business call 'really awful
writing.'"
"But how shall I absolve this dilemma? I have already read every
tome available on how to write well and get published!" The writer
tossed his head about, wildly.
"It might help," opined the blonde editor, helpfully, "to ponder
how NOT to write a novel, so you might avoid the very thing!"
Many writing books offer sound advice on how to write well. This
is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of
terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will
teach you what to avoid--at all costs--if you ever want your novel
published.
In "How Not to Write a Novel," authors Howard Mittelmark and
Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in
teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real
advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling
you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common
mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize,
avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate
each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your
beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes,
perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this
essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of
the slush pile and into the bookstore.
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