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Baek Sehee could never have predicted how many people I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki would reach across the world. A runaway bestseller in South Korea, Japan, China, Indonesia and the UK, this record of conversations with her therapist demonstrated the realities of anxiety and depression in a uniquely intimate way. But Baek's battle with dysthymia did not end there. Grappling with mental health is an everyday struggle. In I Want to Die but I Still Want to Eat Tteokbokki, Baek's experiences become more complex, as she demonstrates that striving contentment is an ongoing journey.
The phenomenal Korean bestseller translated by international booker shortlistee Anton Hur. PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you? ME: I don't know, I'm – what's the word – depressed? Do I have to go into detail? Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her – what to call it? – depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgemental of others. She hides her feelings well at work and with friends; adept at performing the calmness, even ease, her lifestyle demands. The effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favourite street food, the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like? Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a 12-week period, Baek begins to disentangle the feedback loops, knee-jerk reactions and harmful behaviours that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness.
The internationally bestselling therapy memoir translated by International Booker Prize shortlisted Anton Hur. PSYCHIATRIST: So how can I help you? ME: I don't know, I'm-what's the word-depressed? Do I have to go into detail? Baek Sehee is a successful young social media director at a publishing house when she begins seeing a psychiatrist about her-what to call it?-depression? She feels persistently low, anxious, endlessly self-doubting, but also highly judgmental of others. She hides her feelings well at work, but the effort is exhausting, overwhelming, and keeps her from forming deep relationships. This can't be normal. But if she's so hopeless, why can she always summon a desire for her favorite street food: the hot, spicy rice cake, tteokbokki? Is this just what life is like? Recording her dialogues with her psychiatrist over a twelve-week period, and expanding on each session with her own reflective micro-essays, Baek begins to disentangle the harmful behaviors that keep her locked in a cycle of self-abuse. Part memoir, part self-help book, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is a book to keep close and to reach for in times of darkness.
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