You don't have to own a dog and you don't have to be Jewish... A humour title about using guilt, shame and passive aggression to raise your dog that will have you barking with laughter. A 'Not Missing Yet' sign informs neighbours that dog is not missing. Some trainers call this precaution unnecessary. We say: It couldn't hurt. Finally! The dog training techniques and tips developed by the renowned Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary are available in book form. Look out, monks. Step aside, whisperer. Rabbi Monica and Rabbi Alan show, step by step, how you can use guilt, shame, passive aggression, sarcasm and Conditional Unconditional Love to create an unbreakable bond with your dog. It's all here, including: - The five ways of commanding 'Sit!' ('What, would it kill you to sit down for one lousy second?') - A useful list of Advanced Commands ('Don't stare at Cousin Edith's hair when she comes over.') - How to use Situational Martyrdom when the dog disobeys ('Fine. Do what you want. I hope you have a nice life.') The rabbis have been training dogs - and their owners - for 20 years. Now they bring the fruits of their vast experience to dog owners everywhere. And the best part? You don't have to be Jewish to benefit from the programme. Just neurotic. Or crazy about your dog.

In text that captures the unique rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which the ultra-WASPish Dick and Jane - hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations have used when learning to read - manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By speaking Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude - part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity... YIDDISH WITH DICK AND JANE tells a simple story: Grandma gets sick and Dick and Jane's sister Sally visits. There are sub-plots about such ethical dilemmas as gift-giving etiquette and marital infidelity. The comedy intensifies in the glossary, which defines (with chutzpah aplenty!) each Yiddish term introduced in the text.