This volume presents the concept of vigilant care as a protective and non-intrusive parental attitude to risky behaviors of children and adolescents. The effective component in vigilant care is not control, but parental presence. Vigilant care is a flexible attitude in which parents shift between levels of open attention, focused attention, and protective action, according to the alarm signals they detect. The author presents a detailed theoretical, empirical, and clinical rationale for the model that deals with potentially problematic parental attitudes or parent-child processes such as overparenting, psychological control, disregard of legitimate personal domains or of the child's need for self-determination, parent-child mutual distancing, and escalation.

Throughout human history, the relationships of individuals and groups have been disrupted by what the authors sum up as "demonization," the attribution of basic destructive qualities to the other or to forces within the self. Demonization results in constant suspicion and blame, a systematic disregard of positive events, pressure to eradicate the putative negative persons or forces, and a growing readiness to engage in escalating conflict. Richly illustrated with 24 case stories, this book explores the psychological processes involved in demonization and their implications for the effort to effect change in relationships, psychotherapy, and beyond the office or clinic in the daily lives of families, organizations, and societies.
Recent popular psychology--the authors argue--has tended to encourage demonization. An appropriate alternative to this view is known as the "tragic view" Suffering is inevitable in life; negative outcomes are a result of a confluence of factors over which one has only a very limited control; there is no possibility of reading into the hidden "demonic" layers of the other's mind; the other's actions, like our own, are multiply motivated; escalation is a tragic development rather than the result of an evil "master plan"; and finally, skills for promoting acceptance and reducing escalation are necessary for diminishing interpersonal suffering. The authors describe and illustrate a series of these skills both for psychotherapy and for personal use. Finally, they lay out an approach to consolation and acceptance, the neglect of which they attribute to the dominance of demonic views.
"The Psychology of Demonization: Promoting Acceptance and Reducing Conflict" will be appreciated by all those professionally and personally concerned with the state of relationships.

This volume presents the concept of vigilant care as a protective and non-intrusive parental attitude to risky behaviors of children and adolescents. The effective component in vigilant care is not control, but parental presence. Vigilant care is a flexible attitude in which parents shift between levels of open attention, focused attention, and protective action, according to the alarm signals they detect. The author presents a detailed theoretical, empirical, and clinical rationale for the model that deals with potentially problematic parental attitudes or parent-child processes such as overparenting, psychological control, disregard of legitimate personal domains or of the child's need for self-determination, parent-child mutual distancing, and escalation.

Haim Omer's first work, "Authority Without Violence" was published in German in 2002, and the book "Authority through Relationship", which was published a short time later, has been in demand for almost twenty years now. The concept of introducing the principles of non-violent resistance in therapy and counseling is now theoretically and empirically better founded and has found its way into a large number of new fields of application. All of this is reason enough for an update on the development of the approach that is now briefly referred to as the "New Authority". In his tenth book with Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht, Haim Omer, in proven co-authorship with Arist von Schlippe, presents a work that resolutely traces the development of "parental presence" through to the "anchor function". The bandwidth of the fields of application is presented, research results and proof of effectiveness are reported. In this way, the requirements of a handbook are fully met. Haim Omer presents an inspiring overview of his approach, which has become more and more differentiated in the concrete practice of his teams over the decades. The "current status" shows once again Omer's high standards of respect for the problems of parents, children, adolescents, young adults, but also other educators up to problem constellations in community-oriented contexts, as well as respect for the autonomy of those who focus of offers of help. There is no more fundamental work on the "New Authority" in all facets of development and application.

Heutzutage sind Schulen mit ganz anderen Aufgaben und Anforderungen konfrontiert. Wissensvermittlung ist zu einem Teilbereich geworden, die Foerderung sozialer und personaler Kompetenzen ruckt dagegen mehr und mehr ins Zentrum. Auch Eltern sind heute kritischer und stellen die Autoritat von Lehrpersonen schnell einmal infrage. Traditionelle erzieherische Vorstellungen und Methoden sind nicht mehr legitim oder bleiben bei den Schulern und Schulerinnen oft wirkungslos. Es ist kein Geheimnis, dass die alltaglichen Auseinandersetzungen im Klassenzimmer einer der gewichtigsten Grunde fur Lehrpersonen sind, ein Burnout zu erleiden oder den Beruf zu wechseln. Umso wichtiger werden Fragen wie etwa: Wie schaffen Schulen eine gute Lernatmosphare, wie kann auffalligen Kindern und Jugendlichen Respekt beigebracht werden, wie werden Ruhe und Sicherheit erreicht? 'Raus aus der Ohnmacht' heisst die Devise fur Lehrerinnen und Lehrer. In diesem Buch findet sich eine geballte Ladung an Erfahrung und systematischem Vorgehen mit und nach den Prinzipien der Neuen Autoritat. Die vielen Beispiele belegen auf eindruckliche Weise, wie wirksam und entlastend ihre Anwendung ist.

Patients of psychotherapy often have pre-developed, powerful stories about themselves when they come for treatment, and these are usually characterized by bleak self-portrayals, inexorable plots, narrow themes, and demoralizing meanings. This book aims to help the psychotherapist in creating a new story for the client that is so close to their own experience that they may view it as their own story. However this story must be different enough from the previous one so as to allow for new meanings and options to be perceived. The aim is that once the client is freed from his original story he can begin to be freed from his problem altogether. Teaching the therapeutic principles of narrative reconstruction, this book shows how to improve in the following: characterizing, constructing plot, outlining and developing themes, and conveying meanings.

Angste gehoren zur Entwicklung eines Kindes und konnen in Ubergangsphasen, nach seelischen Erschutterungen oder Krisen auftreten. Bei manchen Kindern halten diese Angstzustande jedoch langer an oder werden sogar zu dauerhaften Begleitern. Im Unterschied zu Angststorungen von Erwachsenen wirken sich die Angste bei Kindern nicht nur auf sie selbst aus, sondern auch die Eltern sind mit ihren Reaktionen und Umgehensweisen stark einbezogen. In der systemischen Perspektive stellen die Eltern die Schlusselfigur dar, die einerseits unbeabsichtigt zur Verstarkung und zum Fortbestehen der Angste beitragen oder aber dem Kind helfen konnen, Entwicklungskrisen durchzustehen und die Storungen zu uberwinden. Es ist daher schwierig, die Angste eines Kindes zu verstehen und zu behandeln, ohne nicht auch die elterlichen Reaktionen zu begreifen und zu verandern. Mit dem zentralen Bild der Ankerfunktion befurworten die Autoren, dass neben Schutz und Sicherheit durch elterliche Prasenz auch fordernde Unterstutzung unabdingbar ist. So kann das Kind seine Krafte sammeln und lernen, das Problem selbstandig zu bewaltigen.

This book offers a therapeutic approach to a problem that many families and mental health institutions face: a growing number of adult children who struggle to progress to a psychological, social adulthood. The family patterns that revolve around adult children can remain inert for decades, are often resistant to conventional therapy, and can cause chronic suffering to adult children, parents, and extended families. The authors present a guide that addresses parents of adult children as suffering people in their own right and as essential to assisting their child into entering functional adulthood. The authors, one of whom is the originator of the Non-Violent Resistance Therapy approach (NVR), provide an intervention manual that implements NVR principles for helping families of adult children. The book is based on the authors' ten-year journey of helping such families in cases where traditional interventions and therapeutic values seem not to work.

English summary: Parents need to know how to gently persuade and nurture their children. But above all it is important that they are simply there for their children parental presence as the new concept of child guidance. German description: Zunehmend verlieren Eltern in ihrer Familie die Autoritat. Sie werden an den Rand der Familie gedruckt und furchten sich vor ihren Kindern. Die Kinder haben in der Familie das Heft in die Hand genommen - sei es durch renitentes Verhalten, durch eine korperliche Symptomatik, durch Suiziddrohungen, durch destruktives Verhalten oder offene Gewalt. In diesem Buch wird ein Vorgehen fur Eltern vorgestellt, das auf den Gedanken Gandhis uber den gewaltlosen Widerstand basiert: Schrittweise stellen die Eltern ihre elterliche Prasenz wieder her und sorgen gleichzeitig dafur, dass die Punkte, an denen es gewohnheitsmassig zu Eskalationen kam, entscharft werden. Das Buch beruht auf der erfolgreichen Arbeit von Haim Omer mit hunderten von Familien, in denen die Haufigkeit gewalttatiger Interaktionen dadurch deutlich zuruckgegangen ist.

Die ErschA"tterung der erzieherischen AutoritAt gilt als eine der entscheidenden Ursachen fA"r den dramatischen Anstieg von Gewalt und KriminalitAt unter Kindern und Jugendlichen. Doch kann elterliche und pAdagogische AutoritAt heutzutage nicht mehr auf Furcht, blinden Gehorsam und MachtausA"bung grA"nden. Es mA"ssen die in unserer Gesellschaft vorherrschende Werte von freiem Willen, IndividualitAt und kulturellem Pluralismus berA"cksichtigt werden. Die Psychologen Haim Omer und Arist von Schlippe fA"hren den Begriff der "neuen AutoritAt" ein, der das Ergebnis eines langjAhrigen Denk- und Erfahrungsprozesses darstellt. Zu den zentralen Konzepten dieser neuen AutoritAt gehAren PrAsenz und gewaltloser Widerstand. Die Anwendung hat sich auch im Schulbereich bewAhrt, wo Eltern und Lehrer ein BA"ndnis gegenseitiger Hilfe und UnterstA"tzung bilden, und bindet im darA"ber hinaus auch Gemeindemitglieder erfolgreich ein.

With "Watchful Concern" Haim Omer presents the next level of his concept for a development-friendly way of dealing with parents with their children. Based on the principles of "parental presence", the model of "new authority" and the anchor function relevant to attachment, this book deals with the basic parental attitude on which active and respectful participation in the life of your child is based. In the implementation, "watchful concern" is understood as a graded procedure that ranges from "open" to "focused attention" with a view to everyday life to measures that unequivocally limit the (mostly) young people's scope for action. In the vast majority of cases, it is not necessary for parents to pull out all the stops in this sense. With the help of a large number of instructive examples on various problem constellations, such as how to deal with money, the consumption of addictive substances, internet use and driving, it becomes clear which options for action parents have to consolidate their own position - entirely for the good of their child on its way more self-care.

Since the concept was first created in the late 1990s, the New Authority has found its application in various fields of activity. For the first time, the NeNA (Network New Authority) publisher's network is placing the tried and tested concept clearly in the focus of the pedagogical, therapeutic, leadership-related and overall social context. The book thus fulfills the criteria of a manual, which makes the current status of the discussion and practice visible. In addition, it should stimulate thinking about further developments and meanings. So it should also be a sociopolitical book in which we act and respond appropriately to questions and requirements of our time. The new standard work of the New Authority is introduced by a foreword by Arist von Schlippe and Haim Omer.

The Dalai Lama writes in the foreword to this book that every human being desires and has a right to happiness. But disharmony, strife and violence always bring suffering to people. Suddenly we get caught up in processes of demonizing the other, the other group, the other people. We only perceive the counterpart in a negative light, we turn it into a monster that we have to fight with all our might. The psychotherapeutic authors explain how this happens and show - also using convincing case studies - ways of de-escalation and demonization.

Haim Omer and Philip Streit present the approach of the new authority as a general educational principle in an advisory format and plead for a fundamental rethink: Resistance and reparation instead of punishment and hardship. Self-change and support instead of individual struggles and attempts at control. The effectiveness speaks for itself: strong parents, strong children, open communication and intense, positive relationships. The educational principle of new authority manages the balancing act of expressing unpleasant things without questioning the relationship. This parenting and upbringing guide impresses with its closed concept, the compact and understandable language and a wealth of practical examples.

Non-violent resistance (NVR) is an approach for parents and other caregivers that helps to increase presence and overcome impulsive and dangerous behaviors, while reducing conflict and escalation. The practical, evidence-based advice accompanies a detailed list of all the new applications of NVR and an overview of the supporting literature. A step-by-step presentation of the treatment is laid out alongside a useful model on escalation and its prevention. The approach achieves high parent engagement and cooperation, with over twenty controlled studies showing that NVR effectively reduces parental helplessness, parental impulsiveness, parent-child conflicts, and family discord.

This book offers a therapeutic approach to a problem that many families and mental health institutions face: a growing number of adult children who struggle to progress to a psychological, social adulthood. The family patterns that revolve around adult children can remain inert for decades, are often resistant to conventional therapy, and can cause chronic suffering to adult children, parents, and extended families. The authors present a guide that addresses parents of adult children as suffering people in their own right and as essential to assisting their child into entering functional adulthood. The authors, one of whom is the originator of the Non-Violent Resistance Therapy approach (NVR), provide an intervention manual that implements NVR principles for helping families of adult children. The book is based on the authors' ten-year journey of helping such families in cases where traditional interventions and therapeutic values seem not to work.

Non-violent resistance (NVR) is an approach for parents and other caregivers that helps to increase presence and overcome impulsive and dangerous behaviors, while reducing conflict and escalation. The practical, evidence-based advice accompanies a detailed list of all the new applications of NVR and an overview of the supporting literature. A step-by-step presentation of the treatment is laid out alongside a useful model on escalation and its prevention. The approach achieves high parent engagement and cooperation, with over twenty controlled studies showing that NVR effectively reduces parental helplessness, parental impulsiveness, parent-child conflicts, and family discord.

Dr. Haim Omer builds on his previous work to present a new model of authority for parents, teachers, and community workers that is suitable for today's free and pluralistic societies. This new authority contrasts with traditional authority in that it emphasizes self-control and persistence over control of the child, a network of support over a strict hierarchy, taking mutual responsibility for escalations over holding the child solely responsible, patience over threats, non-violent resistance over physical force, and transparency over secrecy. In addition to a thorough discussion of the underlying theory, The New Authority presents a practical program for families, schools, and communities. Dr. Omer provides specific instructions to combat violence and risky behavior at home and in school, increase parent and teacher interest and support, and implement interventions that increase safety, improve atmosphere, and generate community cohesiveness.

Throughout human history, the relationships of individuals and groups have been disrupted by what the authors sum up as "demonization," the attribution of basic destructive qualities to the other or to forces within the self. Demonization results in constant suspicion and blame, a systematic disregard of positive events, pressure to eradicate the putative negative persons or forces, and a growing readiness to engage in escalating conflict. Richly illustrated with 24 case stories, this book explores the psychological processes involved in demonization and their implications for the effort to effect change in relationships, psychotherapy, and beyond the office or clinic in the daily lives of families, organizations, and societies. Recent popular psychology--the authors argue--has tended to encourage demonization. An appropriate alternative to this view is known as the "tragic view": Suffering is inevitable in life; negative outcomes are a result of a confluence of factors over which one has only a very limited control; there is no possibility of reading into the hidden "demonic" layers of the other's mind; the other's actions, like our own, are multiply motivated; escalation is a tragic development rather than the result of an evil "master plan"; and finally, skills for promoting acceptance and reducing escalation are necessary for diminishing interpersonal suffering. The authors describe and illustrate a series of these skills both for psychotherapy and for personal use. Finally, they lay out an approach to consolation and acceptance, the neglect of which they attribute to the dominance of demonic views. The Psychology of Demonization: Promoting Acceptance and Reducing Conflict will be appreciated by all those professionally and personally concerned with the state of relationships.