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For those who have a friend that has been devastated by the loss of a loved one. When others care enough to rub shoulders with grieving friends and are willing to be inconvenienced. It requires someone to care enough to put aside cliche condolences and stick close through a long grieving process. An individual's grief can never be 'fixed'. But friends can wash a sink full of dishes, listen, go along on a cemetery visit. Sharing another's grief is not about 'fixing-it'- it's about showing up.Harold Ivan Smith, popular speaker and grief educator, guides others to respond with their heart. He shows tangible, meaningful ways to make a significant difference as one journeys through grief with someone they care about.
Acts of caring and compassion can make all the difference in a grieving child's life. Adults can often worry about saying and doing the right thing, too often giving children quick answers instead of the support they really need.Widely-recognized grief specialist Harold Ivan Smith explains that quick answers are not what children need when they are grieving. They need support, and most of all they need to be allowed to grieve-for as long as it takes.With an ABC-like approach, Smith offers insights and activities for the parent, teacher, or friend-anyone that loves a child and wants to offer his or her support. This new and revised edition of When a Child You Love is Grieving will help ensure that the child is receiving the healthy and necessary outlets during the loss of a loved one.
'Vincent van Gogh's last words: La tristesse durea--the sadness will never go away. It will not go away. But it will change.' Sometimes grief can be overwhelming --especially over the holidays. The world is moving forward and celebrating life, but for grievers darkness pervades the holiday.This special gift book edition of bestseller A Decembered Grief is designed to guide you on a journey beyond that darkness and get out on the other side. You will learn that the holidays aren t about presents or cookies or church services-- they are about relationships. Harold Ivan Smith will teach you how to alter traditions instead of abandoning them, appreciate the grief styles of others, and befriend your grief instead of dread it. The holidays can be tough. This book can help.
This book not only examines friendgrief from a theoretical and clinical framework, but also Smith offers fascinating vignettes from the lives of well-known friendgrievers such as Elton John, Diane Sawyer, Ralph Abernathy, C. S. Lewis, Harry Truman, Tommy Lasorda, Jimmy Carter, Fritz Mondale, Bill Clinton, Calvin Trillin, and Alan King. The author includes moving narratives of numerous individuals who have never gained notoriety but have become seasoned friendgrievers.
In the aftermath of suicide, friends and family face a long road of grief and reflection. With a sympathetic eye and a firm hand, Harold Ivan Smith searches for the place of the spirit in the wake of suicide. He asks how one may live a spiritual life as a survivor, and he addresses the way faith is permanently altered by the residue of stigma that attaches to suicide.
What do Dexter King, Condoleeza Rice, Mackenzie King, Corazon Aquino, Eleanor Roosevelt, Bill Cosby, Tony Dungy, Theodore Roosevelt, George H. W. and Barbara Bush, Caroline Kennedy, Arthur Ashe, Lady Bird Johnson, Colin Powell and C. S. Lewis have in common? They all have significant grief experiences that have shaped their lives in dramatic ways, stories that have also shaped our lives. Grieving individuals, through "borrowing narratives," look for inspiration in biographic, historical and memoir accounts of political and religious leaders, celebrities, sports figures, and cultural icons. In a time of diminishing trust in heroes and "sainted leaders," who will speak to us from their grief? In a diverse society grief counselors and educators need to identify and "mine" the experienced grief(s) of historical personalities for resources for reflection and meaning-making. This book will help readers:
What do Dexter King, Condoleeza Rice, Mackenzie King, Corazon Aquino, Eleanor Roosevelt, Bill Cosby, Tony Dungy, Theodore Roosevelt, George H. W. and Barbara Bush, Caroline Kennedy, Arthur Ashe, Lady Bird Johnson, Colin Powell and C. S. Lewis have in common? They all have significant grief experiences that have shaped their lives in dramatic ways, stories that have also shaped our lives. Grieving individuals, through "borrowing narratives," look for inspiration in biographic, historical and memoir accounts of political and religious leaders, celebrities, sports figures, and cultural icons. In a time of diminishing trust in heroes and "sainted leaders", who will speak to us from their grief? In a diverse society grief counselors and educators need to identify and "mine" the experienced grief(s) of historical personalities for resources for reflection and meaning-making. This book will help readers: find, "read," evaluate, extract, and adapt historical/biographical materials create bio-narrative resources for use in grief counseling and grief education explore the wide diversity of experienced grief in biographical narratives identify ways to "harness" grief narratives for personal reflection.
This work includes a foreword by John D Morgan, Professor Emeritus of Philosophy, Coordinator for Kings College Center for Education about Death and Bereavement, Ontario, Canada. This practical resource guides the reader though all aspects of the grieving process and offers thought-provoking and inspirational advice on support. With exercises, tips, and contacts for further assistance, "Finding a Sacred Oasis in Grief" provides a comprehensive understanding of this potentially difficult and complex topic. It examines different types of grief and various approaches, along with reference guides to particular religions and their traditions adopting a comprehensive, multi-faith approach. Pastoral care providers and religious leaders will find the unique, hands-on approach invaluable, as will members of support organisations and volunteer carers. It is also ideal for seminary and ministry students, counsellors, therapists and other care professionals. "Gives caregivers the tools to help dying and grieving persons face the best and worst that life has to offer. It is the worst, because death means the end of the attachments that make life worthwhile. It is the best, because it shows us what is truly meaningful and important in life. Mortality is a great gift if we have the knowledge and the courtesy to face it." - John D Morgan, in the Foreword.
Nationally recognized grief educator Harold Ivan Smith brings over twenty-five years of professional experience in grief recovery to ABCs of Healthy Grieving. Seventy-two brief suggestions for healthy grieving, each two-pages in length and titled starting with a letter of the alphabet followed by an "I Can" statement, encourage those suffering the loss of a loved one to grow through grief spiritually and emotionally. One particular aspect of living with grief day-to-day is introduced with relevant quotes and short excerpts. Readers can read ABCs of Healthy Grieving cover to cover, or choose a single topic to help them through their day.
Modern approaches to the study of symplectic 4-manifolds and algebraic surfaces combine a wide range of techniques and sources of inspiration. Gauge theory, symplectic geometry, pseudoholomorphic curves, singularity theory, moduli spaces, braid groups, monodromy, in addition to classical topology and algebraic geometry, combine to make this one of the most vibrant and active areas of research in mathematics. It is our hope that the five lectures of the present volume given at the C.I.M.E. Summer School held in Cetraro, Italy, September 2-10, 2003 will be useful to people working in related areas of mathematics and will become standard references on these topics. The volume is a coherent exposition of an active field of current research focusing on the introduction of new methods for the study of moduli spaces of complex structures on algebraic surfaces, and for the investigation of symplectic topology in dimension 4 and higher.
During that long hot summer of 1964, Ivan Smith, a Mercenary volunteering the Arm'ee Nationale congolais, came to witness and understand fear, the law of the jungle and the lust for killing that permeates Africa. A member of 'Mad Mike' Hoare's 5 Commando group, he and his companions were nominally soliders but there was little in the way of campaigns, tactics and discipline. Of conventional warfare there was none. Loyalty to country or unit did not exist and fear of death was the only commander. Many more mercenaries died from an accidental discharge, in a drunken shoot-out or from a bullet in the back than were ever killed in action by Simba rebels. Nearly half a century later, Ivan Smith re-lives the nightmare that was the Congo.
Children and young people have much to offer the community they live in, but are often excluded in decisions and policies that affect their development, as their own opinions are ignored or overruled much of the time. Participatory approaches used in development in a practical framework can provide the vehicle needed to include children in the decision-making processes which affect their communities, and can have far reaching implications for policies and practice.;This text presents the key issues and challenges involved in facilitating children and young people's participation in the development process. The contributors come from a range of backgrounds including NGOs in development, children's agencies, academic institutions and governments, bringing a multi-disciplinary approach to children's participation.;Chapter One provides an overview to the main issues and concepts, and chapters Two to Seven each expand on a particular theme, drawing on case studies from around the world. The main issues discussed and analyzed include: the ethical dilemmas that face professionals in addressing children's participation; the process and methods used in participatory research and planning with children; the inter-relationship between culture and children's participation; consideration for institutions; and the key qualities of a participation programme for children and young people's participation.
This guide can be used by pastors, priests, ministers, psychotherapists, grief counselors, and teachers for helping people with their grief and teaching about the subject.
In his counseling work, Harold Ivan Smith has heard all the questions - even the most obscure, personal, and difficult ones - that occur to grievers as they process their loss. Here, he compiles more than 150 common questions, explores the emotions behind them, and provides clear and forthright responses. Whether readers find the answers they seek, new perspectives to ponder, or comfort from knowing that others ask similar questions, this valuable resource will guide individuals who are in the midst of grief and those who wish to provide comfort.
Once upon a time it would have been taken for granted that a pastor's responsibility as shepherd and 'curer of souls' would be to be present for the griever. The Gallup Organization reported in 1997 that only one in three believe a member of the clergy could be comforting in a time of loss; only one in four say that it is 'very important' for a member of the clergy to be on hand when a person is dying. Death and dying have become very secularized in this country. Many would more likely turn to a counselor or psychologist than a minister. Yet the hunger is there. It is the spiritual helper who repeatedly points the griever to another perspective who gives hope. It is the godly minister who helps grievers continue to love and live in anticipation of reunion. When Your People Are Grieving calls upon pastors to embrace their positions of leadership and to be a means of grace and mercy to grievers during trying times. In this easy-to-read book written directly to the pastors, well-known grief specialist Harold Ivan Smith probes the many facets of grief ministry, presenting practical advice in dealing with one of the most challenging yet rewarding parts of ministry in the local church. You'll learn: What family members expect from their pastors during times of grief What you should never say to those who have experienced loss How to equip your congregation to care for grievers How to counsel grievers who question the existence of God Why we no longer talk about the 'five stages of grief' Each chapter includes a spiritual formation exercise you can use to help grievers grow in the Lord. You'll also find 'A Story That Will Preach' in every chapter to help you as you strive to relate and connect with you congregation in trying times.
The death of a friend is one of the most significant but unrecognized experiences of grief in American culture. In this unique book, Harold Ivan Smith guides the reader to move with rather than against the natural grief process as he explores its many aspects, including the friending, the passing, the burying, the mourning, the remembering, and the reconciling.
Intersections are those crossroads in life where life experiences can draw us together and draw us closer to God. The Intersections Small Group series helps church members integrate faith into their daily lives as they discover Bible-based answers to questions about common life experiences. The books are interactive, easy-to-use, and focus on important issues shared by all members.
During that long, hot summer of 1964, Ivan Smith, a mercenary volunteer in the Armee Nationale Congolais, came to witness and understand fear, the law of the jungle and the lust for killing that permeates Africa. A member of 'Mad Mike' Hoare's 5 Commando Group, he and his companions were nominally soldiers but there was little in the way of campaigns, tactics and discipline. Of conventional warfare there was none. Loyalty to country or unit did not exist and the fear of death was the only commander. Many more mercenaries died from an accidental discharge, in a drunken shoot-out or from a bullet in the back than were ever killed in action by Simba rebels. Nearly half a century later, Ivan Smith re-lives the nightmare that was the Congo. About the Author Ivan Smith was born 1941 in Fort Victoria, Rhodesia. He grew up on a farm before doing his national service after leaving school in 1958. After some cowboy and mining work he spent two years in London and Copenhagen. In 1964 he signed up for a six-month contract as a mercenary in the Congo. He joined the British South Africa Police in 1965 and served fourteen years in the paramilitary Support Unit and the Police Anti-Terrorist Unit during the protracted Rhodesian 'bush war'. He emigrated to South Africa in 1984 where he worked in the security department at the University of Cape for 16 years. A lover of hunting and fishing, he has written for various outdoor magazines for over 40 years. He lives in the small village of Joubertina in the Western Cape of South Africa. |
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