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In accordance with her Sicilian Catholic family’s unspoken code,
Paolina Milana learned at an early age to keep her secrets locked
away where no one could find them. Nobody outside the family needed
to know about the voices her Mamma battled in her head; or about
how Paolina forged her birth certificate at thirteen so she could
get a job at The Donut Shop; or about the police officer twenty-six
years her senior whose promise to her Papà to “keep an eye
on her” quickly translated into something sinister. And perhaps
that’s why no one saw it coming when—on the eve of her sweet
sixteen, pushed to edge—Paolina attempted to take her own
mother’s life. Raw and compelling, The S Word is the true story
of a girl who nearly suffocates in the silence she was taught to
value above all else—until she finally finds the strength to
break free of the secrets binding her and save herself.
After a decade of caring for crazy and keeping her mother's mental
illness a secret from the outside world, twenty-year-old Paolina
Milana longs for just one year free from the madness of her home.
When she gets the chance to go to an out-of-state school, she takes
it, but her family won't leave her be. Letter after letter arrives,
constantly reminding her of the insanity rooted in her family tree.
Even worse, the voices in her own head whisper words she's not sure
are normal. "Please don't make me be like Mamma," she prays to a
God she's not sure is listening. The unexpected death of her father
soon after she returns home leaves Paolina in shock-and in charge
of her paranoid schizophrenic mother. But it isn't until she is
twenty-seven and her sister two years her junior explodes in a
psychotic episode and, just like Mamma, is diagnosed with paranoid
schizophrenia and must be committed, that Paolina descends into her
own despair, nearly losing herself to the darkness. Poignant and
impactful, Committed is one woman's story of resilience as she
struggles to stay sane despite the madness that surrounds her.
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