What do Star Wars, Noah, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and tattoos have to do with investing? Everything. Master storyteller Jonny Tomahawk uses the experiences of everyday life to point to valuable lessons about how we all mismanage our wealth. Bring Me the Horizon quashes the status quo, and will force you to confront the very core of your beliefs by debunking the complexity of the investment world. Without an understanding of the basic, common-sense ground rules, we are all doomed to failure as investors. Bring Me the Horizon embodies the hope that, through the application and discipline of some simple tenets, you can live a happier and wealthier life. By demystifying the off-putting and often confusing jargon used in the world of investments, Tomahawk's sense of humour takes the fear out of entering a once-forbidding world. Ultimately, when it comes to your future, there's no time like the present. Isn't it time you took control?

What happens when two good ol' country boy rednecks get talking... you get a hodge-podge of crazy and hilarious rants that go in all sorts of directions If you're a typical woman, prepare to get mad. If you're a man, prepare to laugh and nod your head from the entertainment at women's expense. Enter "Whiskey" Dick Tomahawk and Elrod "Ammo" Bodean... America's 2 favorite Redneck Intellectuals. Possessing Bo and Luke Duke good looks, a charming hillbilly sexual prowess few women can resist, and powerful insights into the problems of the world that Presidential candidates can't comprehend (possibly due to their screechy southern accents), you'll go on a roller-coaster ride of amusing stories, opinions, and observations in this book about how and why American Women SUCK The truth... YOU can't handle the truth Testimonials attributed to their greatness... He once started to cook, only to realize that's what women are for. "Whiskey" Dick Tomahawk...the most modern redneck in the world. Elrod "Ammo" Bodean is right 98% of the time... who cares about the other 3%. He once had an illegal alien cut the grass around his trailer and paid him with deportation papers. "Whiskey" Dick Tomahawk is nothing, if not the most generous redneck in the world. About Elrod "Ammo" Bodean... the more beer you drink, the more clear his writing becomes. "Whiskey" Dick Tomahawk is so secure in his alpha male manliness, he can walk down the streets of San Francisco without a shirt on licking a big lollipop to the adoration of both gay men and urban women. Elrod once went to the shooting range and whipped out his 8 inch Magnum only to realize he doesn't need the practice... he always get a bullseye on the ( o ) ( o ) and (_ _) He gets offended when you call him penis. Please be formal and call him Dick. Sophistication is Dick Tomahawk's middle name He enjoys professional colonics (water up the butt) and yet still maintains he's straight and conservative. Elrod "Ammo" Bodean... a Cajun with dirty thoughts and a clean butt. What newspapers and magazines around the world are saying about Dick and Elrod... "Masters at dumbing down relationship advice in an eloquent, sexist way by 2 morons posing as intellectuals." Chicago Triboone Times "Proudly pick their noses and fling their anti-women wisdom down the throats of an America that has passed them by." New York Daily Timze "Obnoxious gutter nonsense... perfect illustration of "ignorance is bliss" when it comes to their stone age views of women." Afghanistan Post "They are collectively the James Bond of redneck and hillbilly dating circles. Eye witness accounts testify to seeing MILF's spontaneously drench their panties after they walk by and say howdy." London Daily Post Gazette Herald Here's the deal... These 2 good ol' boys lay it all out on why American Women SUCK Love it or hate it. Women... some of them see the truth in this book. As for the other women who get offended by the book and don't OBEY... they can call Dick and Elrod idiots, morons or whatever they want... they'll consider it a compliment (heck, they'd love for you to come on by their Facebook pages and blog and give them a piece of your mind so they can see how hot and bothered they get you). Men... consider this your redneck bible on women. If you're sick of how "modern" women are and unhappy with the fact that most women suck, get this book and see what you can do about it so you can turn things around and make yourself happy. You don't need to put up with their stupid drama and unfeminine behaviors any longer. "Whiskey" Dick Tomahawk and Elrod "Ammo" Bodean... educational entertainment at it's finest. Soon to be required reading for every 6th grade boy and girl at every public school.