In 1965, Carol Schaefer was 19, a freshman in college and deeply in
love. She was also pregnant. When her boyfriend's family opposed
their marrying, her parents sequestered her in a Catholic home for
unwed mothers a state away, where she was isolated and where
secrecy prevailed. She had only to give up her baby for her sin to
be forgiven and then all would soon be forgotten she was told. The
child, in turn, would be placed with a "good" family, instead of
having his life ruined by the stigma of illegitimacy. Carol tried
to find the strength to oppose this dogma but her shame had become
too deep. "The first time I looked deep into my son's eyes, I felt
like a criminal. As I unwrapped his hospital blanket and took in
the heady fragrance of a newborn, I feared the nurses or the
sisters would come in and slap me for contaminating my own son."
Finding no way out, she signed the fateful papers leaving her son
in the hands of strangers, but with a vow to her baby she would
find him one day. For years, Carol struggled to forget and live the
"normal" life promised, not understanding the consequences of the
trauma she'd endured. On his eighteenth birthday, she set out to
find him, although the law denied access to records. Her search
became a spiritual quest to reclaim her own lost self, as she came
to understand the emotional and psychological wounds she and other
mothers like her had endured. Against all odds she succeeded in
finding him and discovered that in many ways they had never really
been apart. With her son's encouragement and his adoptive mother's
cooperation, she tells their story. REVIEWS: "Strength, sadness,
joy, and the power of undeniable love abound in this book." 500
Great Books by Women (A Penguin Books Reader's Guide, 1994) The
list of authors goes back to the 11th century. Nominated "One of
the best books of 1991." American Library Association. ..". flows
as forcefully as the finest fiction. ... This 'ten-hankie-read'
never descends into sentimentality but simply reveals the
unvarnished truths of the human heart." Wilson Library Bulletin
"This wrenching account, covering a range of adoption issues, is a
moving testament to the bonding power of motherhood." Publishers
Weekly "An astonishing revelation of the emotions that come into
play throughout the adoptive process - a must read for all
concerned." Kirkus Reviews Literary Guild Alternate Selection.
"Inspiring ... a heart tugger." Patricia Holt, San Francisco
Chronicle "A chronicle of a time with the starkest of emotions
revealed ... Readers quickly understand the trauma that lingers on
deep in the hearts of birthmothers every day of their lives."
Elliot Bay Booknotes "It should be a must read for anyone who
considers adoption the 'easy' answer to an unwanted pregnancy." The
Philadelphia Inquirer "As she experiences pain and love, you're on
that roller coaster with her, as if the life she lived was yours."
St. Petersburg Times "Poignant and powerful, The Other Mother
shatters the myth that unwed mothers, unprepared for the sacrifice
they make, go on to lead normal and untouched lives." Booklist "Any
woman who has gone through any part of her experience, or has been
close to somebody who has, will attest to the story's
authenticity." The Washington Post "I recommend it with all my
heart. Its courage, integrity and love make it a treasure. ... not
only for adoptive families and birth families, it is for everyone
who longs to know how deep the levels are that connect us, and how
precious." Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul ..". addresses
intimately the experience of a Birthmother as no other book has -
or probably ever will. Expertly written." Jone Carlson, Editor
People Searching News "Courageous, moving and heartening." Betty
Jean Lifton, Journey of the Adopted Self "A wonderful book. From my
professional perspective the book is right on target." Reubon
Pannor, coauthor, The Adoption Triangle
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