A mixed bag of essays, fables, musings, and skits in which a
radical feminist plays havoc with the concept of manhood. In this
follow-up to Refusing To Be a Man (1989 - not reviewed),
Stoltenberg, a founder of Men Against Pornography, turns from
public policy to interpersonal issues. His theme here is contained
in the epigraph: "The core of one's being must love justice more
than manhood." The notion of manhood itself, says Stoltenberg, is a
sham, a trap - and those who would redeem it or remythologize it
are kidding themselves, for manhood is a mask, incompatible with
truly human selfhood. So much for beating drums with male
companions in the woods. Each of Stoltenberg's 23 brief chapters
poses a question - usually an anxietyladen one ("What If My Father
Didn't Love Me?"; "How Can I Be Anybody If I'm Not a Real Man?")
that may or may not be answered here. The text takes many forms and
varies from philosophical, even scholarly, analysis to
tongue-in-cheek humor. Homophobia, pornography, and the treating of
women as sexual objects are scrutinized and lampooned. "Coach
'Irony' John" gives advice to sexual athletes; "Mister Mann" offers
a guide to proper etiquette in male bonding; and the "Ancient
Armorer" versifies on the link between manhood and warfare. In a
final sendup, all three testify at the "National Commission on
Manhood Hearings." Stoltenberg's humor can be heavy-handed and
often crude, perhaps because his anger is so strong, but it gets
his message across. Less persuasive are his personal revelations
(of his homosexuality, for instance). A harsh critique of
masculinity ostensibly written for men but likely to find its
warmest reception among women. (Kirkus Reviews)
In this practical follow up to Refusing to be a Man, John
Stoltenberg uses a combination of case studies, autobiography,
checklists and discussion points, to speak directly to men about
how the social construction of manhood operates in everyday
relationships and to show how these same dynamics drive the
behaviour of gangs, race-hate groups, and international
imperialism. Readers will find here new perspectives on intimacy,
gender, and violence and be pushed to re-examine their ideas of
manhood and gender identity generally. Stoltenberg's new
introduction sets the book in academic context, summarising the
game theory of gender which underlies all his work.
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