By now I expected to be a seasoned parish minister, wearing
black clergy shirts grown gray from frequent washing. I expected to
love the children who hung on my legs after Sunday morning services
until they grew up and had children of their own. I even expected
to be buried wearing the same red vestments in which I was
ordained.
Today those vestments are hanging in the sacristy of an Anglican
church in Kenya, my church pension is frozen, and I am as likely to
spend Sunday mornings with friendly Quakers, Presbyterians, or
Congregationalists as I am with the Episcopalians who remain my
closest kin. Some-times I even keep the Sabbath with a cup of
steaming Assam tea on my front porch, watching towhees vie for the
highest perch in the poplar tree while God watches me. These days I
earn my living teaching school, not leading worship, and while I
still dream of opening a small restaurant in Clarkesville or
volunteering at an eye clinic in Nepal, there is no guarantee that
I will not run off with the circus before I am through. This is not
the life I planned, or the life I recommend to others. But it is
the life that has turned out to be mine, and the central revelation
in it for me -- that the call to serve God is first and last the
call to be fully human -- seems important enough to witness to on
paper. This book is my attempt to do that.
After nine years serving on the staff of a big urban church in
Atlanta, Barbara Brown Taylor arrives in rural Clarkesville,
Georgia (population 1,500), following her dream to become the
pastor of her own small congregation. The adjustment from city life
to country dweller is something of a shock -- Taylor is one of the
only professional women in the community -- but small-town life
offers many of its own unique joys. Taylor has five successful
years that see significant growth in the church she serves, but
ultimately she finds herself experiencing "compassion fatigue" and
wonders what exactly God has called her to do. She realizes that in
order to keep her faith she may have to leave.
Taylor describes a rich spiritual journey in which God has given
her more questions than answers. As she becomes part of the flock
instead of the shepherd, she describes her poignant and sincere
struggle to regain her footing in the world without her defining
collar. Taylor's realization that this may in fact be God's
surprising path for her leads her to a refreshing search to find
Him in new places. Leaving Church will remind even the most
skeptical among us that life is about both disappointment and hope
-- and ultimately, renewal.
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