Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities
delves into the unique experiences of individuals in BDSM
communities. While misunderstandings surrounding these communities
prevail, BDSM sexuality cuts across race, gender, nationality, and
sexual orientation. BDSM describes forms of sexuality that
incorporate restraint, pressure, sensation, training, and elements
of both erotic and non-erotic power exchange between the engaged
parties. Some BDSM "scenes" include role-playing, spanking,
blindfolds, ropes, and erotic costuming. Sexual Outsiders is
designed as a guide for BDSM community members who must wade
through the quagmire of unique problems they face: coming out to
family, friends and partners; distinguishing abusive relationships
from healthy consensual ones; finding and developing community;
overcoming shame and denial; exploring whether BDSM sexuality can
be a healing tool; gaining access to quality, culturally competent
psychotherapy; and finding strategies to develop a healthy sexual
self-esteem in the face of current medical and social standards
that view them as sick or pathological. The book also serves as an
educational primer for those whose partners, friends, and family
members are involved in BDSM. In terms of challenges faced by BDSM
communities, the most significant is living with a stigmatized
sexuality shame, prejudice, discrimination, isolation, depression,
and a lack of adequate, competent mental health care. Issues such
as coming out as a sexual minority, finding community and partners,
and dealing with scenes and relationships that go wrong are some
the common experiences shared by members of BDSM communities.
Sexual Outsiders employs common sense, good humor, and vivid
anecdotes while incorporating basic ideas about human behavior,
psychology, philosophy, interviews, history, and clinical case
studies to illustrate the real lives and experiences of men and
women in BDSM communities. Anyone wanting to learn more about this
unique, and more-common-than-you-think expression of sexuality,
will find in these pages insight into the various challenges BDSM
practitioners face, and the many strengths that people in the BDSM
communities have developed in the face of social stigma and
prejudice.
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