Iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity
Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through
the lens of infidelity.
Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about the human heart—what
we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They
offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about
love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from
multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and
entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness,
their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is
so poorly understood. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented,
and so too the prohibition against it—in fact, it has a tenacity that
marriage can only envy. So what are we to make of this time-honored
taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people
cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much?
When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic
expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing
as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one
person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves
real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural
analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.
For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with
hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts,
she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to
a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples
can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.
Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework
for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel
observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window,
like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
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Review This Product
Thu, 7 Jul 2022 | Review
by: Jay-Jay
I love Esther's insight and her ability to clearly explain difficult relational problems and how to resolve them.
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