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Books > Health, Home & Family > Family & health > Family & other relationships > General
In the shattered fantasy of rainbow-nation South Africa, there are many uncomfortable truths. Among these are family secrets - the legacies of traumas in the homes and bones of ordinary South African families. In this debut collection, feminist and Khoi San activist Kelly-Eve Koopman grapples with the complex beauty and brutality of the everyday as she struggles with her family legacy. She tries unsuccessfully to forget her father - a not-so-prominent journalist and anti-apartheid activist, desperately mentally ill and expertly emotionally abusive - who has recently disappeared, leaving behind a wake of difficult memories. Mesmerisingly, Koopman wades through the flotsam and jetsam of generations, among shipwrecks and sunken treasures, in an attempt at familial and collective healing. Sometimes tragic, sometimes hilarious, she faces up to herself as a brown, newly privileged "elder millennial", caught between middle-class aspirations and social justice ideals. An artist, a daughter, a queer woman in love, she is in pursuit of healing, while trying to lose those last 5 kilograms, to the great disappointment of her feminist self.
A compelling and agonising story. Durban-based journalist Glynis Horning and her husband Chris woke up one Sunday morning almost two years ago to the devastating discovery of their 25-year-old son Spencer dead in his bed. Horning’s story chronicles a parent’s worst nightmare. Establishing that his death was suicide, Horning embarks on a journey of anguished self-recrimination. Should she not have seen the signs? Could she somehow have prevented it? As she struggles with Spencer’s decision to end his life, she has to learn to understand what the depths of depression entail. We feel Horning’s pain, and learn to understand and feel Spencer’s pain, at a visceral level. Surrounded by loving family and friends, Horning pieces together the puzzle of Spencer’s death, writing with a brutal and heart-searing intensity of grief and loss, but also of the joys of celebrating her son’s life. This book will touch anyone who has experienced a mental health journey directly or indirectly, or a searing loss. Her wisdom and insight are extraordinary.
“Dad thinks lots of things are right-wing. He even thinks He-Man is right-wing. I ask Dad who we are and he says left-wing. Left is opposite to right. If right is bad, then we’re the opposite of that, which means we’re good.” It’s post-independence Zimbabwe and an atmosphere of nostalgia hangs over much of Harare’s remaining white community. Hayden Eastwood grows up in a family that sets itself apart, distinguishing themselves from Rhodie-Rhodies through their politics: left is good; right is bad. Within the family’s free and easy approach to life, Hayden and his younger brother, Dan, make a pact to never grow up, to play hide and seek and build forts forever, and to never, ever be interested in girls. But as Hayden and Dan develop as teenagers, and the chemicals of adolescence begin to stir, their childhood pact starts to unravel. And with the arrival of Sarah into their lives, the two brothers find themselves embroiled in an unspoken love triangle. While Sarah and Hayden spend increasing amounts of time together, Dan is left to deal with feelings of rejection and the burden of hidden passion alone, and the demise of a silly promise brings with it a wave of destruction. Laced with humour, anger and sadness, Like Sodium in Water is an account of a family in crisis and an exploration of how we only abandon the lies we tell ourselves when we have no other option.
Edited and with an introduction by Roxane Gay, the New York Times bestselling and deeply beloved author of Bad Feminist and Hunger, this anthology of first-person essays tackles rape, assault, and harassment head-on. In this valuable and revealing anthology, cultural critic and bestselling author Roxane Gay collects original and previously published pieces that address what it means to live in a world where women have to measure the harassment, violence, and aggression they face, and where they are "routinely second-guessed, blown off, discredited, denigrated, besmirched, belittled, patronized, mocked, shamed, gaslit, insulted, bullied" for speaking out. Contributions include essays from established and up-and-coming writers, performers, and critics, including actors Ally Sheedy and Gabrielle Union and writers Amy Jo Burns, Lyz Lenz, and Claire Schwartz. Covering a wide range of topics and experiences, from an exploration of the rape epidemic embedded in the refugee crisis to first-person accounts of child molestation, this collection is often deeply personal and is always unflinchingly honest. Like Rebecca Solnit's Men Explain Things to Me, Not That Bad will resonate with every reader, saying "something in totality that we cannot say alone." Searing and heartbreakingly candid, this provocative collection both reflects the world we live in and offers a call to arms insisting that “not that bad” must no longer be good enough.
An astonishing 94.6% of businesses fail to sell, closing at an enormous cost to the owner, their family, their staff and the economy. It’s a shocking realisation to many business owners that after all the courage it took to start, the creativity and care it took to build, every business faces only two possible ends: a sale or closure. So you’ve got to build to $ell. Sweat, Scale, $ell shares real business-building stories about how ordinary business owners changed their fate using the Asset of Value™ method, a practical approach to building a winning business. With Pavlo Phitidis, they Sweated to reshape their business to be relevant to a changing world; they built a solid foundation for Scale; and then they pressed hard on the accelerator to ramp up growth in preparation for $ale to create a business any buyer would want. Phitidis draws on 25 years of direct experience in conceptualising and building businesses across four continents. He has developed and brought to market business assets in excess of US$300 million through a combination of business start-ups, turnarounds, sales and acquisitions. Phitidis started, built and sold 12 businesses in nine years and took the lessons from the two failures, two IPOs and eight sales to build a business that builds businesses. As a co-founder of Aurik he has worked with over 1 500 established businesses across most sectors in the economy, including family businesses, partnerships and lone business owners. PAVLO PHITIDIS is the resident entrepreneurial and business growth content contributor for Radio 702 and CapeTalk, the presenter and host of The Growth Engines for Business Day TV, as well as a speaker at both local and international business conferences.
With her signature candor and wit, New York Times bestselling author Caitlin Moran attempts to answer society’s weirdly unasked question: What About Men? Like anyone who discusses the problems of girls and women in public, Caitlin Moran has often been confronted with the question: “But what about men?” And at first, tbh, she dgaf. Boys, and men, are fine, right? Feminism doesn’t need to worry about them. However, around the time she heard an angry young man saying he was “boycotting” International Women’ Day because “It's easier to be a woman than a man these days,” she started to wonder: are unhappy boys, and men, also making unhappy women? The statistics on male misery are grim: boys are falling behind in school, are at greater risk of depression, greater risk of suicide, and, most pertinently, are increasingly at risk from online misogynist radicalization. Will the Sixth Wave of feminism need to fix the men, if it wants to fix the women? Moran began to investigate—talking to her husband, close male friends, and her daughters' friends: bringing up very difficult and candid topics, and receiving vulnerable and honest responses. So: what about men? Why do they only go to the doctor if their partner makes them? Why do they never discuss their penises with each other—but make endless jokes about their balls? What is porn doing for young men? Is sexual strangling a good hobby for young people to have? Are men ever allowed to be sad? Are they ever allowed to lose? Have Men's Rights Activists confused “power” with “empowerment”? Are Mid-Life Crises actually quite cool? And what’s the deal with Jordan Peterson’s lobster? In this thoughtful, warm, provocative book, Moran opens a genuinely new debate about how to reboot masculinity for the twenty-first century, so that “straight white man” doesn’t automatically mean bad news—but also uses the opportunity to make a lot of jokes about testicles, and trousers. Because if men have neither learned to mine their deepest anxieties about masculinity for comedy, nor answered the question “What About Men?,” then it’s up to a busy woman to do it.
Jonathan Jansen is die voormalige Rektor van die Universiteit van die Vrystaat, met 'n formidabele reputasie vir transformasie en 'n diepgewortelde verbintenis tot versoening in gemeenskappe wat met die erfenis van apartheid saamleef. In hierdie boek, Jansen se persoonlikste en mees intieme boek tot op hede, daag Suid-Afrika se geliefde professor die stereotipes en stigma uit wat so maklik op Kaapse Vlakte-ma's van toepassing gemaak word as luidrugtig, wellustig en sonder tande – en bied hy dié deernisvolle verhaal aan as 'n lofsang vir ma's oral wat op moeilike plekke gesinne moet grootmaak en gemeenskappe moet bou. As jong man het Jansen gewonder hoe ma's dit regkry om kinders onder moeilike omstandighede groot te maak – en toe besef die antwoord is reg voor hom in die vorm van Sarah Jansen, sy eie ma. Deur haar vroeë lewe in Montagu en die gevolge van apartheid se gedwonge verskuiwings na te speur, werp Jansen lig op hoe sterk vroue nie slegs daarin geslaag het om gesinne bymekaar te hou nie, maar hulle kinders ook met integriteit groot te maak. Met sy kenmerkende fynsinnigheid, humor en eerlikheid, volg Jansen sy ma se lewensverhaal as 'n jong verpleegster en ma van vyf kinders, en wys hy hoe dié ma's hulle verlede verwerk het, hulle huise ingerig het, sin gemaak het van die politiek, die liefde bestuur en kernwaardes gekommunikeer het – hoe hulle hulle lewens gelei het. Om sy eie herinneringe te balanseer, het Jansen hom op sy suster, Naomi, beroep om haar eie insigte en herinneringe te deel, en daardeur spesiale waarde tot hierdie roerende memoir toe te voeg.
Jonathan Jansen is the former Vice Chancellor of the University of the Free State, with a formidable reputation for transformation and for a deep commitment to reconciliation in communities living with the heritage of apartheid. In this, Jansen’s most personal and intimate book to date, South Africa’s beloved professor contemplates the stereotypes and stigma so readily applied to Cape Flats mothers as bawdy, lusty and gap-toothed – and offers this endearing antidote as a praise song to mothers everywhere who raise families and build communities in difficult places. As a young man, Jansen questioned how mothers managed to raise children in trying circumstances – and then realised that the answer was right in front of him in the form of Sarah Jansen, his own mother. Tracing her early life in Montagu and the consequences of apartheid’s forced removals, Jansen unpacks how strong women managed to not only keep families together, but raise them with integrity. With his trademark delicacy, humour and frankness, Jansen follows his mother’s life story as a young nurse and mother to five children, and shows how mothers dealt with their pasts, organised their homes, made sense of politics, managed affection, communicated core values – how they led their lives. As a balance to his own recollections, Jansen has called on his sister, Naomi, to offer her own insights and memories, adding special value to this touching personal memoir.
The much-anticipated and inspiring memoir by Indra Nooyi, the trailblazing former CEO of PepsiCo, offering clear-eyed insight and a call to action for how our society can really blend work and family - and advance women - in the twenty-first century. For more than a dozen years as one of the world's most admired CEOs, Indra Nooyi redefined what it means to be an exceptional leader. The first woman, person of color, and immigrant to run a Fortune 50 company - and one of the foremost strategic thinkers of our time - Nooyi transformed PepsiCo with a unique vision, a vigorous pursuit of excellence, and a deep sense of purpose. Now, in a rich memoir brimming with grace, grit, and good humor, My Life in Full offers a firsthand view of a legendary career and the sacrifices it so often demanded. In her book, Nooyi shares the events that shaped her - from her childhood in 1960s India, to the Yale School of Management, to her rise as a consultant and corporate strategist who soon ascended into the most senior executive ranks. The book offers an intimate look inside PepsiCo, detailing how she steered the iconic American company toward healthier products and reinvented its environmental profile without curbing financial performance - despite resistance at every turn. At the same time, Nooyi built a home with her husband - also a high-powered executive - two daughters, and members of her extended family. My Life in Full includes her unvarnished take on the competing pressures on her attention and time, and what she learned along the way. This book, as has her personal journey, will inspire young women everywhere to believe that they, too, can climb to powerful roles without giving up on the desire for a family and children. But, as Nooyi eloquently argues, her story is not a call for women to simply try harder, but is proof of the importance of organised care structures in all of our success. Nooyi makes a clear, actionable, urgent call for business and government to prioritise the care ecosystem, from skilled care networks to zoning policy, to paid leave and flexible and predictable work hours, each so critical to unleashing the economy's full potential and helping families thrive. Generous, authoritative, and grounded in lived experience, My Life in Full is both the story of an extraordinary leader's life, and a moving tribute to the relationships that created it.
“Met hierdie boek wil ek almal aanmoedig om minder blinde mol en meer wyse uil te word.” Daar is ’n groot behoefte aan mense met integriteit – mense met die volledige stel goue eienskappe wat hulle veelsydige, standvastige en betroubare wyse uile maak. Mense op wie jy kan peil trek. Susan Coetzer, bekende skrywer en motiveringsspreker help jou op haar skreeusnaakse maar eerlike manier om jou eie lewe te ondersoek en seker te maak dat jy met integriteit leef.
She was confident, beautiful and financially secure. When she arrived in London with her daughter the future looked bright and she was hoping for a lasting, mature relationship. But within days, things started to go wrong. Was he manipulating her? Maybe it was all in her head? She started a diary, evidence to reassure herself that she wasn’t going mad. This is the true story of a strong, independent woman's descent into abuse, and how she eventually escaped.
Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain development and trauma expert, Dr. Bruce Perry, discuss the impact of trauma and adverse experiences and how healing must begin with a shift to asking, “what happened to you?” rather than “what’s wrong with you?” Through wide-ranging, and often deeply personal conversation, Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Perry explore how what happens to us in early childhood – both good and bad - influences the people we become. They challenge us to shift from focusing on, “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why are you behaving that way?,” to asking, “What happened to you?” This simple change in perspective can open up a new and hopeful understanding for millions about why we do the things we do, why we are the way we are, providing a road map for repairing relationships, overcoming what seems insurmountable, and ultimately living better and more fulfilling lives. Many of us experience adversity and trauma during childhood that has lasting impact on our physical and emotional health. And as we’re beginning to understand, we are more sensitive to developmental trauma as children than we are as adults. ‘What happened to us’ in childhood is a powerful predictor of our risk for physical and mental health problems down the road, and offers scientific insights in to the patterns of behaviors so many struggle to understand. A survivor of multiple childhood challenges herself, Oprah Winfrey shares portions of her own harrowing experiences because she understands the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma at a young age. Throughout her career, Oprah has teamed up with Dr. Bruce Perry, one of the world’s leading experts on childhood trauma. He has treated thousands of children, youth, and adults and has been called on for decades to support individuals and communities following high-profile traumatic events. Now, Oprah joins forces with Dr. Perry to marry the power of storytelling with the science and clinical experience to better understand and overcome the effects of trauma. In conversation throughout the book, the two focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves in the context of personal experiences. They remove blame and self-shaming, and open up a space for healing and understanding. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future - opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way. Grounded in the latest brain science and brought to life through compelling narratives, this book shines a light on a much-needed path to recovery – showing us our incredible capacity to transform after adversity.
Moshitadi is a mother wound recovery coach. In The Girl Who Survived Her Mother, she details the years of her torturous relationship with her mother, maps the intergenerational nature of the trauma in her family, and reveals how she was finally able to begin her journey of healing. Today she helps clients around the world face their most shameful question -- how do I love myself when the person who carried me and gave birth to me cannot?
The Goddess Mojo Bootcamp will show you how to allow real, fulfilling love to find you. The Goddess Mojo Bootcamp is for women; women who want to attract a man, or two, or three... Women who want a man for a reason, a season, a lifetime, or one to match each of her handbags... It has zero moral pontifications. It won’t warn you against sleeping with a man on the first date. There are no 90-day rules in this book. It’s for women who want authentic relationships, not ones who are interested in learning how to manipulate men in order to get a ring on their finger. It’s for women who desire happy, healthy relationships in their lives, not women who are looking to a relationship to have a happy, healthy life.
The Goddess Mojo Bootcamp is written primarily for women experiencing one of two challenges: Central to this empowering book is loving yourself and feeling good about yourself. It teaches you how to attract a healthy relationship, through falling in love with yourself and your life. Relationships (not just romantic relationships) are important to women. In fact, they are central to our fulfilment. The majority of dating books are ironically dens of self-hatred and manipulation. They either teach you how to manipulate men into doing what you want them to do, or how to behave in order to appear as “wife” material. This book does the opposite. It teaches you how to let go of your masks, so you can attract people who are capable of loving the real you. It helps identify and release subconscious patterns that keep you from attracting the love you desire.
Navigating motherhood from the age of 18, Kim Stephens shelved her inner journo and embraced a life of media sales and sports marketing, working with some of the biggest sports brands globally, and locally, whilst pursuing her own ultra-running ambitions. Arguing vehemently against the possibility that she was running from her own truth, Covid-19 wiped out Kim’s possibilities for continued escape. After three children, two divorces and a gradual sexual awakening, Kim found herself at 40-something virtually unemployed, with all the time in the world to write, sip gin and study a general response to one of the world’s most draconian lockdowns. Her humorous observations of middle-class South African behaviour through the various levels of lockdown earned her a certain notoriety and a degree of viral success, and with that the courage to put it all into a book. Hold the Line tells the story of teenage pregnancy, the situational blindness of white South Africa, the disappointment of divorce and the deep joy found through true awakening. Stitched together with the lockdown writing that Kim penned for a growing base of followers, she shares a more in-depth life story with her usual candid self-deprecation. Written to rattle a few truths from within its readers, Hold the Line ends ironically as the world begins to follow a potential third World War via TikTok.
On the face of it, life looks good for Sara-Jayne. She’s a popular radio personality, a bestselling author and she’s recently been reunited with her long-lost father, nearly 40 years after she was given up for adoption as a baby. Best of all, she’s just found out she’s about to become a mother, with Enver, the ‘love of her life’. She's convinced that she’s finally heading towards her "happily ever after". But six weeks after discovering she’s pregnant, Enver relapses on heroin and disappears, leaving Sara-Jayne devastated. She checks into The Clinic, where despite the little life growing inside her, she realises she’s never felt more alone. In her much-anticipated follow up to the bestseller Killing Karoline, Sara-Jayne is now forced, for the sake of her unborn child, to find a way to save herself. But first she has to unravel why everyone always leaves her. Why like that song she's always looking for love in all the wrong places? And why she is so obsessed with mad, bad love?
‘Untamed will liberate women - emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It is phenomenal.’ (Elizabeth Gilbert, author of City of Girls and Eat Pray Love) Who were you before the world told you who to be? Part inspiration, part memoir, Untamed explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet the expectations of the world, and instead dare to listen to and trust in the voice deep inside us. From the beloved New York Times bestselling author, speaker and activist Glennon Doyle. For many years, Glennon Doyle denied her discontent. Then, while speaking at a conference, she looked at a woman across the room and fell instantly in love. Three words flooded her mind: There. She. Is. At first, Glennon assumed these words came to her from on high but soon she realised they had come to her from within. This was the voice she had buried beneath decades of numbing addictions and social conditioning. Glennon decided to let go of the world’s expectations of her and reclaim her true untamed self. Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both an intimate memoir and a galvanising wake-up call. It is the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live. It is also the story of how each of us can begin to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries, make peace with our bodies, honour our anger and heartbreak, and unleash our truest, wildest instincts. Untamed shows us how to be brave. And, as Glennon insists, 'The braver we are, the luckier we get.'
Are you ready to meet your Self? In recent years, Dr Nicole LePera has become the leading voice in psychological self-healing, helping millions of people around the world rise out of survival mode to consciously create authentic lives they love. In her first book, How to Do the Work, Dr Nicole offered readers a revolutionary holistic framework for self-healing. Now, in How to Meet Your Self, she shares an interactive workbook designed to help every reader uncover their authentic self. We all fall into conditioned habits and patterns - products of our past - that lead to cycles of stuckness, pain, and self-destruction. But as Dr. Nicole shares, we also have the innate ability to awaken to and change the behaviours that no longer serve us, allowing us to step into the highest versions of ourselves. By objectively and compassionately observing the physical, mental, and emotional patterns that fill our days and create our current selves, we can more clearly see what we do not wish to carry into the future. As you work through this book and witness your default habits - from sleep to movement to eating, through emotional reactivity and core beliefs - you will never again have to ask, "But where do I start?" How to Meet Your Self is a revolutionary guide, a kind and encouraging companion and a comprehensive masterwork of self-understanding that will radically transform your inner work and outer world.
The first new novel in a decade from the bestselling, Booker Prize-shortlisted author of BRICK LANE. Yasmin Ghorami has a lot to be grateful for: a loving family, a fledgling career in medicine, and a charming, handsome fiancee, fellow doctor Joe Sangster. But as the wedding day draws closer and Yasmin's parents get to know Joe's firebrand feminist mother, both families must confront the unravelling of long-held secrets, lies and betrayals. As Yasmin dismantles her own assumptions about the people she holds most dear, she's also forced to ask herself what she really wants in a relationship and what a 'love marriage' actually means. Love Marriage is a story about who we are and how we love in today's Britain - with all the complications and contradictions of life, desire, marriage and family. What starts as a captivating social comedy develops into a heart-breaking and gripping story of two cultures, two families and two people trying to understand one another.
This is a hilarious, eye-opening tour of the new romantic landscape, from one of America's sharpest comic voices and one of its leading sociologists. In the old days, most people would find a decent person who lived in their village or neighbourhood, and after deciding they weren't a murderer, get married and have kids - all by the age of 22. Now we spend years of our lives searching for our perfect soul mate and, thanks to dating apps, mobile phones and social media, we have more romantic options than ever before in human history. Yet we also have to confront strange new dilemmas, such as what to think when someone is too busy to reply to a text but has time to post a photo of their breakfast on Instagram. And if we have so many more options, why aren't people any less frustrated? For years, American comedian Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at dating and relationships, and in Modern Romance, he teams up with award-winning sociologist Eric Klinenberg to investigate love in the age of technology. They enlisted some of the world's leading social scientists, conducted hundreds of interviews, analyzed the behavioural data, and researched dating cultures from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to New York City. The result is an unforgettable picture of modern love, combining Ansari's irreverent humour with cutting-edge social science.
Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain development and trauma expert, Dr. Bruce Perry, discuss the impact of trauma and adverse experiences and how healing must begin with a shift to asking, “what happened to you?” rather than “what’s wrong with you?” Through wide-ranging, and often deeply personal conversation, Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Perry explore how what happens to us in early childhood – both good and bad - influences the people we become. They challenge us to shift from focusing on, “What’s wrong with you?” or “Why are you behaving that way?,” to asking, “What happened to you?” This simple change in perspective can open up a new and hopeful understanding for millions about why we do the things we do, why we are the way we are, providing a road map for repairing relationships, overcoming what seems insurmountable, and ultimately living better and more fulfilling lives. Many of us experience adversity and trauma during childhood that has lasting impact on our physical and emotional health. And as we’re beginning to understand, we are more sensitive to developmental trauma as children than we are as adults. ‘What happened to us’ in childhood is a powerful predictor of our risk for physical and mental health problems down the road, and offers scientific insights in to the patterns of behaviors so many struggle to understand. A survivor of multiple childhood challenges herself, Oprah Winfrey shares portions of her own harrowing experiences because she understands the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma at a young age. Throughout her career, Oprah has teamed up with Dr. Bruce Perry, one of the world’s leading experts on childhood trauma. He has treated thousands of children, youth, and adults and has been called on for decades to support individuals and communities following high-profile traumatic events. Now, Oprah joins forces with Dr. Perry to marry the power of storytelling with the science and clinical experience to better understand and overcome the effects of trauma. In conversation throughout the book, the two focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves in the context of personal experiences. They remove blame and self-shaming, and open up a space for healing and understanding. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future - opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way. Grounded in the latest brain science and brought to life through compelling narratives, this book shines a light on a much-needed path to recovery – showing us our incredible capacity to transform after adversity.
Catapulted into national prominence with the release of her multiple-award-winning debut album, Zandisile, in 2005, Simphiwe Dana has since carved a place for herself as one of the most significant artists of her generation using a unique combination of jazz, rap and traditional music. Hailed by the media as 'South Africa's Jazz Diva No#1' and 'the best thing to happen to Afro-Soul music since Miriam Makeba', Dana is listened to and loved both locally and abroad. A feminist exploration of the public lives of performer Simphiwe Dana - a rebel with several causes, in eight essays, award winning author, Prof Gqola brilliantly shows why Dana is arguably one of the most significant cultural figures working in contemporary South Africa today. Fluctuating public responses to Ms Dana show us something about South African sensitivities to Blackness, femininity, language and the imagination.
A radical new path to revolutionise your relationships. Why are our closest relationships so often a source of more stress than solace? Whether the relationship is with a romantic partner, a parent, child, friend or colleague, the dynamic is frequently the same - you'd like the relationship to change for the better, yet nothing you try seems to work. Author of international bestseller How to Do the Work, Dr Nicole LePera has heard these frustrating patterns of loneliness, disconnection, and resentment described time and again, both from patients in her clinical practice and from her global online community @the.holistic.psychologist. In this groundbreaking book she offers a new path to healing our relationships by tapping into the power of the heart. How to Be the Love You Seek harnesses the latest scientific research to teach us how to recognise our dysfunctional patterns, identify their roots in our earliest relationships, break painful cycles, build security and share compassion with ourselves and others. Through stories, exercises, journal prompts, and other practical tools, Dr LePera empowers us first to strengthen our foundation of self-love, paving the way for deeper, more harmonious connections with those around us. When you become the love you seek, you have the power to transform every relationship, from your most intimate partnerships to the bonds that hold our communities together.
Why... I know, why would anybody name their first book, Why? Let me quickly tell you. Exposure to pornography at a very young age and sexual abuse as a child, made my life hell. Quite frankly it ruined my whole life. I lived with daily battles that created a war within my soul. This torment lasted until I was 40 years old. I could no longer live with the trauma, the pain and suffering, emanating from my childhood events, I needed help. Just like many adults and children do too. Don’t we all have a story? Some stories are more attractive than others. This is my story. It is real, authentic, and raw. So many ask the question, Why? Not all our why’s have clear answers. And often, we never get an answer.
Why adults stay stuck in early childhood trauma? Many of your why’s will be answered through reading my life story mirrored with those of the Israelites. A story that is used multiple times in history to display Slavery and Freedom. It is a story that would help people to find true freedom, a story that will point you to the Truth. It is a story of wandering through the wilderness as a slave, with addictions, pain, and suffering. Addictions that are not easily spoken about, addictions that is not easily resolved. Addictions that many survivors don't want to have in the first place. Freedom that I so desperately longed for. Freedom I found. Freedom that can be yours too.
A searing and brave memoir chronicling the author’s resilience, compassion and growth as she moves from a childhood of trauma, through the challenges of dealing with the early loss of her beloved husband and becoming a single parent as well as subsequently accompanying her child on a difficult journey of self-discovery, to a life of acceptance and forgiveness. Thobeka Yose confronts the taboos surrounding mental health, abuse, betrayal and sexual identity with fearless honesty, kindness and understanding that will inspire countless others. |
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