This is a book for the sports lover. In an Orwellian Ministry of
Sport, what ultimate terror would await you in Room 101? Would Tim
Henman's choking crush the spirit sooner than the glacial
detachment of his parents? Would the philandering of an Ashley Cole
or a Will Carling break you faster than the pipe-smoking prissiness
of bowlsman David Bryant or the obese bare-chested Geordie football
fan in winter? Would it be Neville Neville's unrepentant siring of
Phil that cracked you, or the Charidee Fun Runner doing the
marathon in the guise of Spiderman? The nasally overexcited John
Motson or the mellifluously smug Peter Alliss? How do you rank the
self-pitying lunacy of Arsene Wenger against Alex Ferguson's
psychotic ranting? Or the shameful innumeracy of referee Graham
Poll against umpire Billy Bowden's sinister crook-finger? Counting
down the greatest torments in sport from 101 to number one has been
a filthy job. But someone had to do it.
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