A major Latino writer's intimate but healing journey through
addiction, human desire and broken love. From "He Leaves a Message
in the Middle of the Night" He loved beer and crack. He loved
heroin, ecstasy, the sad music of the bars. He said he loved you
too. You are thinking of the night you met him. Late October night,
the breeze as soft as his black eyes. He was so hungry for trouble.
You were so hungry for anything that resembled love. Your finger
tracing the tattoos on his chest, you dreamed of living in the
prison of his arms. But you refused to live in the prison of his
deadly nights. You can't survive without the morning light. You
repeat this again and again: He's a man, not an illness. Tattoos
and prison. Novels and poems. A bird can love a fish but they can't
live in your apartment. He called again last night and left a
message that was meant to wound. He said: I want to know what you
meant when you said I love you. You said: I love you. I meant I
love you. He said: I want to know what you meant when you said
goodbye. You said: Goodbye. I meant goodbye. You whispered his name
in the dark. Benjamin Alire Saenz in 2013 won the Pen/Faulkner
Award and the Lambda Award for his book Everything Begins and Ends
at the Kentucky Club. His young adult novel Dante and Aristotle in
Paradise was a 2013 Printz Honoree. He lives in El Paso, Texas.
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