Description: ""Dad. I've got very, very, very bad news. Peter was
killed tonight . . ."" With that middle-of-the-night phone call,
life for the Mayer family plunged from ""best-ever year"" to months
and years of dealing with the oppressive presence of Peter's
unending absence. A letter from his father to the freshly deceased
Peter, intended for the memorial service, became the first in a
torrent of letters from his dad to Peter, though which his dad
poured out agonized and angry grief. In the letters, Peter's dad
laments the way events otherwise beautiful for Peter's wife,
five-year-old daughter, and the rest of the family are relentlessly
punctuated with the pain of the loss. ""Dammit, Peter, why didn't
you . . .?"" Ultimately, slowly, the letters begin to reflect on
the strange mystery of healing. How is it that in spite of the
pain, in spite of the unending loss, comfort does come, opening the
way once again for unbelievably deep joy? ""It was all so rich and
beautiful that with a certain private touch, and exchange of
glance, your mom and I signaled an agreement . . . slipped to our
cave . . . with playful freedom and deep gratitude."" So for
Peter's dad, the confirmation of the odd observation from Jesus:
""How blessed are those who grieve "" Endorsements: ""So how does a
minister address the sudden, potentially faith-shattering loss of
his adult son, Peter? I wondered . . . In each letter, I heard the
soulful humanness of grief calling out. Letters to Peter affirmed
and expanded my understanding of the mysterious and expansive
nature of faith and of God. The religious and theological
underpinnings became universal and philosophical in probing for
meaning. What an extraordinary relationship evolves through these
letters . . . Father and son become one."" --Molly Greist stone
sculptor, bereaved parent ""These poignant letters testify to the
great affection between a father and son. Mayer's plaintive cry of
""how could you?"" points up the apparent senselessness of the
sudden death of a young person. His lamentation echoes some of the
great biblical sorrows down through the centuries. The letters will
be of particular help to all those suffering grief and loss, no
matter what the circumstances."" --Patrick Howell SJ Rector, Jesuit
Community, Seattle University Former dean of the School of Theology
and Ministry About the Contributor(s): Donald E. Mayer is a retired
minister of the United Church of Christ, advisory board chair, and
adjunct faculty for the School of Theology and Ministry, Seattle
University.
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