Peter F. Murphy's purpose in this book is not to shock but rather
to educate, provoke discussion, and engender change. Looking at the
sexual metaphors that are so pervasive in American culture -- jock,
tool, shooting blanks, gang bang, and others even more explicit --
he argues that men are trapped and damaged by language that
constantly intertwines sexuality and friendship with images of war,
machinery, sports, and work.
These metaphors men live by, Murphy contends, reinforce the view
that relationships are tactical encounters that must be won,
because the alternative is the loss of manhood. The macho language
with which men cover their fear of weakness is a way of bonding
with other men. The implicit or explicit attacks on women and gay
men that underlie this language translate, in their most extreme
forms, into actual violence. Murphy also believes, however, that
awareness of these metaphorical power plays is the basis for
behavioral change: "How we talk about ourselves as men can alter
the way we live as men".
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