How Apologies Can Help You Move Forward With Your Life "To err is
human; to forgive divine." But what if the person who hurt you most
refuses to apologize or express any regret? That's the question
haunting Manhattan journalist Susan Shapiro when her trusted
advisor of fifteen years repeatedly lies to her. Stunned by the
betrayal, she can barely eat or sleep. She's always seen herself as
big-hearted and benevolent, someone who will forgive anyone
anything - as long as they're remorseful. Yet the addiction
specialist who helped her quit smoking, drinking and drugs after
decades of self-destruction won't explain - or stop - his ongoing
deceit, leaving her blindsided. Her crisis management strategy is
becoming her crisis. To protect her sanity and sobriety, Shapiro
ends their relationship and vows they'll never speak again. Yet
ghosting him doesn't end her distress. She has screaming arguments
with him in her mind, relives their fallout in panicked nightmares
and even lights a candle, chanting a secret Yiddish curse to exact
revenge. In her entrancing, heartfelt new memoir The Forgiveness
Tour: How to Find the Perfect Apology, Shapiro wrestles with how to
exonerate someone who can't cough up a measly "my bad" or mumble
"mea culpa." Seeking wisdom, she explores the billion-dollar
Forgiveness Industry touting the personal benefits of absolution,
where the only choice on every channel is: radical forgiveness. She
fears it's all bullshit. Desperate for enlightenment, she surveys
her old rabbis, as well as religious leaders from every
denomination. Unable to reconcile all the confusing abstractions,
she embarks on a cross country journey where she interviews people
who suffered unforgivable wrongs that were never atoned: victims of
genocides, sexual assault, infidelity, cruelty and racism. A
Holocaust survivor in D.C. admits he's thrived from spite. A
Michigan man meets with the drunk driver who killed his wife and
children. A daughter in Seattle grapples with her mother - who
stayed married to the father who raped her. Knowing their
estrangement isn't her fault, a Florida mom spends eight years
apologizing to her son anyway -with surprising results. Does love
mean forever having to say you're sorry? Critics praised Shapiro's
previous memoir Lighting Up: How I Stopped Smoking, Drinking and
Everything Else I Loved in Life Except Sex as fiercely honest,
fascinating, funny and "a mind-bendingly good read." Now the
bestselling author and popular writing professor returns with a
darker, wiser follow up, addressing the universal enigma of blind
forgiving. Shapiro's brilliant new gurus sooth her broken psyche
and answer her burning mystery: How can you forgive someone without
an apology? Does she? Should you?
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