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Intended for those who are troubled by their lives and want to make changes, but don't know where to begin, this is a book about relationships. It is not intended as a self-help book, but as one which will encourage the reader to really think about themselves and the way they act - how their behaviour is driven by thoughts, feelings, and impulses of which they may not have any conscious awareness. Jukes examines his 'Mad Hypothesis' - so called because it seems, at first glance, to be 'mad.' He has used it successfully in therapeutic work to refer to everything that is wrong in a patient's relationship and even their life: "You are responsible for everything that is wrong with your relationship including any behaviour of your partner which you use to justify, excuse, or in any other way account for yo own behaviour towards him/her, or the world in general." The author draws on his vast clinical experience to explore this fascinating idea and looks at other related issues such as anxiety, sulking, masochism, and attachment. He also includes many illuminating case-studies which perfectly illustrate his theories and make the text accessible to both clinicians and non-professionals.
Have you ever wondered? * Why it's so hard to get close to a man. * Why don't men express emotions except big ones like anger and frustration? * Why most perversion is male; why most pornography is produced by men for men? Risk taking is male; drinking, drug taking, gambling and infidelity are predominantly the preserve of men? * Why most criminal behavior is perpetrated by men? Why the vast majority of domestic abuse and violence is perpetrated by men? * Why men are so concerned with the size of their penis and its symbolic substitutes - big, powerful cars, status, big houses, big money, and big muscles? * Why can't men tolerate vulnerability? * Why men lie, don't listen, don't do housework, parenting? The answers to these questions, is the aim of this book. The author asks what it means to be a man, and what part masculinity play in men's identity. What is it like to have to spend so much time and energy in managing that identity? Adam Jukes has spent most of his professional life working with troubled and disturbed men, and in 1984 he opened one of the world's first treatment centers to address men's abusive and violent behavior towards women, from verbal and emotional abuse through to stalking and murder. In the following decades that work developed into a clinical examination of masculinity and the author now shares his insights and conclusions with the reader. Juke's conclusions about what constructs masculinity and how it develops may be unpalatable to some but it is also thought provoking and intriguing to anyone who has an interest in these issues whether professional or personal, male or female, wife or lover, sister or brother, husband or father.
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