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Based on Dr. Wolfelt's unique and highly regarded philosophy of
"companioning" versus treating mourners, this self-care guide for
professional and lay grief caregivers emphasizes the importance of
taking good care of oneself as a precursor to taking good care of
others. Bereavement care is draining work, and remaining empathetic
to the painful struggles of mourners, death, and dying, day in and
day out, makes caregivers highly susceptible to burnout. This book
demonstrates how caring for oneself first allows one to be a more
effective caregiver to others. Through the advice, suggestions, and
practices directed specifically to caregiving situations and needs,
caregivers will learn not to lose sight of caring for themselves as
they care for others.
With this compassionate book by respected grief counselor and
educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt, readers will find simplified and
suitable methods for talking to children and teenagers about
sensitive topics with an emphasis on the subject of death. Honest
but child-appropriate language is advocated, and various wording
and levels of explanation are suggested for different ages when
discussing topics such as death in general, suicide, homicide,
accidental death, the death of a child, terminal illness, pet
death, funerals, and cremation. An ideal book for parents,
caregivers, and counselors looking for an easy resource when
talking to youths about death, this book can be used for any
setting, religious or otherwise.
Intended for nurses, doctors, midwives, social workers, chaplains,
and hospital support staff, this guide gives caring and practical
advice for helping families grieve properly after losing a child at
birth. As the special needs of families experiencing perinatal loss
are intense and require more than just the bereavement standards in
most hospitals, this handbook offers tips and suggestions for
opening up communication between caregivers and families, creating
a compassionate bedside environment, and helping with mourning
rituals. Encouraging continual grief support, these specific
companioning strategies can help ease the pain of this most
sensitive situation.
Explaining how multitudes of North Americans are carrying the pain
of all types of loss -- not just the deaths of loved ones but also
the loss of a spouse through divorce, children who leave home, and
the decline of health as they age or get sick -- this balanced
resource empowers mourners and grief counsellors to turn grief into
an experience to be learned from. Defining the varieties of
heartache and its consequences, this effective guide explores how
to inventory, understand, embrace, and reconcile one's accumulated
sorrow through a five-phase "catch-up" mourning process. Readers
will learn to use a spiritual and holistic approach to examine and
integrate the ignored loss from their pasts, so that they can go on
to live fuller, more balanced lives.
Affirming a pet owner's struggle with grief when his or her pet
dies, this book helps mourners understand why their feelings are so
strong and helps them overcome the loss. Included are practical
suggestions for mourning and ideas for remembering and
memorializing one's pet. Among the issues covered are understanding
the many emotions experienced after the death of a pet;
understanding why grief for pets is unique; pet funerals and burial
or cremation; celebrating and remembering the life of one's pet;
coping with feelings about euthanasia; helping children understand
the death of their pet; and things to keep in mind before getting
another pet.
Partly a counselling model and partly an explanation of true
empathy, this handbook explores the ways companionship eases grief.
For caretakers who work with grieving people or for friends and
family just hoping to stay close, 11 tenets are outlined for
mourner-led care. These simple rules call for understanding another
person's pain, listening with the heart rather than the head, not
filling up every minute with words, respecting confusion and
disorder, and relying on curiosity rather than expertise.
With ample space to unburden the heart and the soul, this companion
workbook helps grievers explore the 10 essential
touchstones for finding hope and healing. The exercises throughout
the journal recall the content of the book and ask corresponding
questions about the survivor's unique grief journey.
With sensitivity and insight, this series offers suggestions for
healing activities that can help survivors learn to express their
grief and mourn naturally. Acknowledging that death is a painful,
ongoing part of life, they explain how people need to slow down,
turn inward, embrace their feelings of loss, and seek and accept
support when a loved one dies. Each book, geared for mourning
adults, teens, or children, provides ideas and action-oriented tips
that teach the basic principles of grief and healing. These ideas
and activities are aimed at reducing the confusion, anxiety, and
huge personal void so that the living can begin their lives again.
Included in the books for teens and kids are age-appropriate
activities that teach younger people that their thoughts are not
only normal but necessary.
Beloved grief educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt compassionately explores
the common feelings of shock, anger, guilt, and sadness that
accompany a stillborn child, offering suggestions for expressing
feelings, remembering the child, and healing as a family. Ideas to
help each unique person—mother, father, grandparent, sibling,
friend—are included, as are thoughts from families who
experienced a stillbirth. This new addition to Dr. Wolfelt’s
popular series is a healing companion to families when they
need it most.
Helping widows and widowers to learn how to cope with the grief of
losing their helpmate, their lover, and perhaps their financial
provider, this guide shows them how to find continued meaning in
life when doing so seems difficult. Bereaved spouses will find
advice on when and how to dispose of their mate's belongings,
dealing with their children, and redefining their role with friends
and family. Suggestions are provided for elderly mourners, young
widows and widowers, unmarried lovers, and same-sex partners. The
information and comfort offered apply to individuals whose spouse
died recently or long ago.
Renowned author and educator Alan Wolfelt redefines the role of the
grief counselor in this guide for caregivers. His new model for
"companioning" the bereaved gives a viable alternative to the
limitations of the medical establishment, encouraging counselors
and other caregivers to aspire to a more compassionate philosophy.
This approach argues that grief need no longer be defined,
diagnosed, and treated as an illness but rather should be an
acknowledgement of an event that forever changes a person's
worldview. Through careful listening and observation, the caregiver
learns to support mourners and help them help themselves
heal.
Recognizing how the need to grieve is anchored in one’s capacity
to care for someone, this calming guide contends that the act of
mourning is healthy—and necessary—following a life-changing
loss. The very foundation of attachment is reflected upon,
illustrating devotion as both the primary cause of grief and a
crucial source of emotional recovery. Exploring the essential
principles of love as well as the reasons behind it, this heartfelt
handbook makes it possible to embrace a trying but vital process.
Based on the belief that children mourn in their own unique ways
and need love and support of the adults who care for them, this
book describes the grief experience of Sarah, an eight year old
whose father was killed in a car accident, and offers
compassionate, practical counselling for adults who want to help
grieving children. Covered are common concerns such as normal
behaviours in grieving children, helping children with funerals,
grieving children at school, 'misbehaviour' in the grieving child,
and helping children heal. Within each chapter, Sarah's story is
followed by a counsellor's perspective that offers practical do's
and don'ts.
After a significant loss, it’s common to feel like we’re going
crazy. The sudden absence of someone we love is not only
devastating, it’s disorienting. They were here one moment, and
now they’re…gone? Forever? How can that be? The first year or
two of grief is often unbelievably painful and confusing. We’re
in shock, often for weeks or months. Time seems out of whack. We
feel powerless, helpless, and ineffective. We can’t think
straight; we can’t get anything done. Our moods swing wildly, and
we say and do crazy things. We cry, and we cling to objects that
belonged to the person who died. We have bizarre dreams. We think
we hear, see, or experience communications from the person who
died. We wonder if we can (or should) go on. And through it all,
our minds and hearts return over and over again to the impossible
reality that can never again talk to or touch a person who lived
and breathed and gave our lives so much meaning. There is nothing
more challenging than the early months and years of a major life
loss. But this compassionate book, by one of the world’s most
beloved grief counselors, will help you endure and thrive.
Based on Alan Wolfelt's six needs of mourning and written to pair
with "Companioning the Grieving Child", this thorough guide
provides hundreds of hands-on activities tailored for grieving
children in three age groups: preschool, elementary, and teens.
Through the use of readings, games, discussion questions, and arts
and crafts, caregivers can help grieving young people acknowledge
the reality of the death, embrace the pain of the loss, remember
the person who died, develop a new self-identity, search for
meaning, and accept support. Sample activities include grief sock
puppets, expression bead bracelets, the nurturing game, and writing
an autobiographical poem. Activities are presented in an
easy-to-follow format, and each has a goal, an objective, a
sequential description of the activity, and a list of needed
materials.
Grief hurts. While it's natural to want to avoid pain, healing
after a loss requires engaging with and expressing the pain. The
only way to fully engage with our grief is to open ourselves to it.
All our thoughts and feelings need acknowledgment. They need our
time and attention. They also need expression. Sharing our grief
outside of ourselves is called mourning, and ongoing mourning is
what truly catalyzes our healing over time. Yet we are never more
vulnerable than when we are sharing our deepest emotions.
Vulnerability is scary. We're often afraid of the pain we'll feel
when we're honest with ourselves. We also tend to be afraid of what
others might think. But it turns out that vulnerability in grief is
our ally. The more open and authentic we are, the more fully we can
integrate our loss and go on to live and love well. If you've
suffered a significant loss, this book by one of the world's most
respected grief counselors will help you understand why and how to
be vulnerable in grief. It will help you find the courage to mourn
authentically, one small bit at a time. And it will help you
embrace the paradoxical power of vulnerability in living a rich,
full life.
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