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Since its debut thirty years ago, this favorite by one of the
world’s most beloved grief counselors has found a place in the
homes and hearts of hundreds of thousands of mourners across the
globe. Filled with compassion and hope, Understanding Your Grief
helps you understand and befriend your painful, complex thoughts
and feelings after the death of someone loved. Befriending grief
may sound counterintuitive, but actually, your grief is your love
for the person who died in a different form, and like that love,
it’s also natural and necessary. Perhaps above all, Understanding
Your Grief is practical. It’s built on Dr. Wolfelt’s Ten
Touchstones, which are basic principles to learn and actions to
take to help yourself engage with your grief and create momentum
toward healing. This second edition maintains the content of the
first edition but builds on it by adding concise wisdom on new
topics such as the myth of closure, complicated and traumatic
grief, grief overload, unmourned grief, loneliness, the power of
ritual, and more. Excellent as an empathetic handbook for anyone in
mourning as well as a text for support groups, Understanding Your
Grief pairs with a guided journal.
With this compassionate book by respected grief counselor and
educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt, readers will find simplified and
suitable methods for talking to children and teenagers about
sensitive topics with an emphasis on the subject of death. Honest
but child-appropriate language is advocated, and various wording
and levels of explanation are suggested for different ages when
discussing topics such as death in general, suicide, homicide,
accidental death, the death of a child, terminal illness, pet
death, funerals, and cremation. An ideal book for parents,
caregivers, and counselors looking for an easy resource when
talking to youths about death, this book can be used for any
setting, religious or otherwise.
Affirming a pet owner's struggle with grief when his or her pet
dies, this book helps mourners understand why their feelings are so
strong and helps them overcome the loss. Included are practical
suggestions for mourning and ideas for remembering and
memorializing one's pet. Among the issues covered are understanding
the many emotions experienced after the death of a pet;
understanding why grief for pets is unique; pet funerals and burial
or cremation; celebrating and remembering the life of one's pet;
coping with feelings about euthanasia; helping children understand
the death of their pet; and things to keep in mind before getting
another pet.
Explaining how multitudes of North Americans are carrying the pain
of all types of loss -- not just the deaths of loved ones but also
the loss of a spouse through divorce, children who leave home, and
the decline of health as they age or get sick -- this balanced
resource empowers mourners and grief counsellors to turn grief into
an experience to be learned from. Defining the varieties of
heartache and its consequences, this effective guide explores how
to inventory, understand, embrace, and reconcile one's accumulated
sorrow through a five-phase "catch-up" mourning process. Readers
will learn to use a spiritual and holistic approach to examine and
integrate the ignored loss from their pasts, so that they can go on
to live fuller, more balanced lives.
Based on Dr. Wolfelt's unique and highly regarded philosophy of
"companioning" versus treating mourners, this self-care guide for
professional and lay grief caregivers emphasizes the importance of
taking good care of oneself as a precursor to taking good care of
others. Bereavement care is draining work, and remaining empathetic
to the painful struggles of mourners, death, and dying, day in and
day out, makes caregivers highly susceptible to burnout. This book
demonstrates how caring for oneself first allows one to be a more
effective caregiver to others. Through the advice, suggestions, and
practices directed specifically to caregiving situations and needs,
caregivers will learn not to lose sight of caring for themselves as
they care for others.
Intended for nurses, doctors, midwives, social workers, chaplains,
and hospital support staff, this guide gives caring and practical
advice for helping families grieve properly after losing a child at
birth. As the special needs of families experiencing perinatal loss
are intense and require more than just the bereavement standards in
most hospitals, this handbook offers tips and suggestions for
opening up communication between caregivers and families, creating
a compassionate bedside environment, and helping with mourning
rituals. Encouraging continual grief support, these specific
companioning strategies can help ease the pain of this most
sensitive situation.
With compassionate insight, this handbook helps those in mourning
through what can be the hardest time of year--the holiday season.
Mourners will better understand their complex emotions after
reading about such topics as honoring thoughts and feelings,
creating new traditions, finding ways to de-stress, and
incorporating healing rituals into the holiday season. This book's
practical wisdom also covers issues such as decision-making during
the holidays and coping with the blending of mourning and
celebration. All of the answers and advice in this guide are
provided in the popular 100 ideas format that features one idea per
page, allowing readers to fully absorb each suggestion.
Partly a counselling model and partly an explanation of true
empathy, this handbook explores the ways companionship eases grief.
For caretakers who work with grieving people or for friends and
family just hoping to stay close, 11 tenets are outlined for
mourner-led care. These simple rules call for understanding another
person's pain, listening with the heart rather than the head, not
filling up every minute with words, respecting confusion and
disorder, and relying on curiosity rather than expertise.
With ample space to unburden the heart and the soul, this companion
workbook helps grievers explore the 10 essential
touchstones for finding hope and healing. The exercises throughout
the journal recall the content of the book and ask corresponding
questions about the survivor's unique grief journey.
Helping widows and widowers to learn how to cope with the grief of
losing their helpmate, their lover, and perhaps their financial
provider, this guide shows them how to find continued meaning in
life when doing so seems difficult. Bereaved spouses will find
advice on when and how to dispose of their mate's belongings,
dealing with their children, and redefining their role with friends
and family. Suggestions are provided for elderly mourners, young
widows and widowers, unmarried lovers, and same-sex partners. The
information and comfort offered apply to individuals whose spouse
died recently or long ago.
Beloved grief educator Dr. Alan Wolfelt compassionately explores
the common feelings of shock, anger, guilt, and sadness that
accompany a stillborn child, offering suggestions for expressing
feelings, remembering the child, and healing as a family. Ideas to
help each unique person—mother, father, grandparent, sibling,
friend—are included, as are thoughts from families who
experienced a stillbirth. This new addition to Dr. Wolfelt’s
popular series is a healing companion to families when they
need it most.
Grief hurts. While it's natural to want to avoid pain, healing
after a loss requires engaging with and expressing the pain. The
only way to fully engage with our grief is to open ourselves to it.
All our thoughts and feelings need acknowledgment. They need our
time and attention. They also need expression. Sharing our grief
outside of ourselves is called mourning, and ongoing mourning is
what truly catalyzes our healing over time. Yet we are never more
vulnerable than when we are sharing our deepest emotions.
Vulnerability is scary. We're often afraid of the pain we'll feel
when we're honest with ourselves. We also tend to be afraid of what
others might think. But it turns out that vulnerability in grief is
our ally. The more open and authentic we are, the more fully we can
integrate our loss and go on to live and love well. If you've
suffered a significant loss, this book by one of the world's most
respected grief counselors will help you understand why and how to
be vulnerable in grief. It will help you find the courage to mourn
authentically, one small bit at a time. And it will help you
embrace the paradoxical power of vulnerability in living a rich,
full life.
Renowned author and educator Alan Wolfelt redefines the role of the
grief counselor in this guide for caregivers. His new model for
"companioning" the bereaved gives a viable alternative to the
limitations of the medical establishment, encouraging counselors
and other caregivers to aspire to a more compassionate philosophy.
This approach argues that grief need no longer be defined,
diagnosed, and treated as an illness but rather should be an
acknowledgement of an event that forever changes a person's
worldview. Through careful listening and observation, the caregiver
learns to support mourners and help them help themselves
heal.
An aide for the challenging emotional process that follows a
divorce, this companion journal to "Transcending Divorce" explores
the 10 crucial touchstones for finding hope and healing the
mourning heart, including dispelling misconceptions about divorce,
seeking reconciliation, and appreciating the transformation.
Highlights from the companion book are provided throughout as well
as corresponding questions regarding the grief journey. Private and
independent, this compassionate journal provides ample space to
unburden the heart and soul.
Based on the author's previous guides to a 10-touchstone method of
grief therapy, this book takes an inspirational
approach to the material, presenting the idea of wilderness
as a sustained metaphor for grief—and likening the
death of a loved one to the experience of being wrenched from
normal life and dropped down in the middle of nowhere.
Feeling lost and afraid in this uncharted territory,
people are initially overwhelmed, the book
explains, but they begin to make their way through the new
landscape by searching for trail markers—or touchstones—until
they emerge as intrepid travelers climbing up out of
despair. The touchstones for each step are
described in short chapters such as "Embrace the
Uniqueness of Your Loss," "Recognize You Are Not Crazy," and
"Appreciate Your Transformation."
A compassionate resource for friends, parents, relatives, teachers,
volunteers, and caregivers, this series offers suggestions to help
the grieving cope with the loss of a loved one. Often people do not
know what to say—or what not to say—to someone they know who is
mourning; this series teaches that the most important thing a
person can do is listen, have compassion, be there for support, and
do something helpful. This volume addresses what to expect from
grieving young people, and how to provide safe outlets for teens to
express emotion. Included in each book are tested, sensitive ideas
for “carpe diem” actions that people can take right this
minute—while still remaining supportive and honoring the
mourner’s loss.
Presenting the idea of wilderness as a sustained metaphor for
grief, this compassionate guide explores the unique responses
inherent to the grief felt by those who have experienced the
suicide of a loved one and offers information about coping with
such a profound loss. Likening the death of a loved one to the
experience of being wrenched from normal life and dropped down in
the middle of nowhere, the handbook employs 10 touchstones,
or trail markers, that survivors use to begin to make their way
through the new landscape. Each touchstone gently guides
readers through the entire grieving process and includes topics
such as dispelling misconceptions regarding suicide, exploring
feelings, and embracing the uniqueness of a loss.
Renowned author and educator Alan Wolfelt redefines the role of the
grief counsellor in this guide for caregivers to grieving children.
Providing a viable alternative to the limitations of the medical
establishments model for companioning the bereaved, Wolfelt
encourages counsellors and other caregivers to aspire to a more
compassionate philosophy in which the child is the expert of his or
her grief -- not the counsellor or caregiver. The approach outlined
in the book argues against treating grief as an illness to be
diagnosed and treated but rather for acknowledging it as an event
that forever changes a child's worldview. By promoting careful
listening and observation, this guide shows caregivers, family
members, teachers, and others how to support grieving children and
help them grow into healthy adults.
With a gentle and considerate style, this handbook explores what
happens when grief and the workplace meet, and the drastic effects
of grieving on employees, their performance, and the overall
workplace environment. Touching on the different kinds of grief
workers can experience, such as death, divorce, and layoffs, the
effective ways to channel grief during the workday, how to support
coworkers who mourn, participation in group memorials, and
negotiating appropriate bereavement leave, this concise and
practical resource gives both ideas for the mourner and the
mourner's coworkers. A special introduction for employers, owners,
managers, and human resource personnel addresses the economic
impact of grief in the workplace and provides practical and cost
effective ideas for maintaining morale and creating a productive
yet compassionate work environment.
Recognizing how the need to grieve is anchored in one’s capacity
to care for someone, this calming guide contends that the act of
mourning is healthy—and necessary—following a life-changing
loss. The very foundation of attachment is reflected upon,
illustrating devotion as both the primary cause of grief and a
crucial source of emotional recovery. Exploring the essential
principles of love as well as the reasons behind it, this heartfelt
handbook makes it possible to embrace a trying but vital process.
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