One day I took my daughter who was about seven, for a walk on the trails at the Back Bay in Portland, Maine. She was committed to walking the entire way around the bay, which is about six miles. Then about four miles into the walk she wanted to stop. There was really no way to do so. Instead her cleaver daddy wrote an instant poetry abomination that was so disgusting to sing, one could not do so without laughing. So, we changed the final two miles of the walk from a whining pity party to a laugh-a-minute musical march neither of us will ever forget. Welcome to "Birdie Poop "

Violet's Varden's highly esteemed parents mysteriously disappeared when she was nine years old. She's been living with her loving grandmamma in Albany New York ever since. Now that she's just begun her sophomore year of High School; all sorts of strange, scary and even funny visions are plaguing her during the day along with haunting nightmares. Luckily, she has her 'besties' to keep her grounded. Violet is determined to find her parents, whom she loves, as she believes they are still alive. She often remembers her parents as she jogs along the Hudson River every morning as a sort of meditation and practice for the track team. With a steamy new love interest, strange an unexpected paranormal experiences, visions about a local crime among schoolmates and her grandmamma remarrying a man Violet is not all that fond of, life is more complicated than ever. Uncle Frank, who is her father's best friend and partner on the Troy Police department, and Aunt Mel, his devoted wife, who is like a mother to Violet, are there with her every step of the way. Aunt Mel who was best friends with Violet's mother since childhood, gifts Violet a sacred journal kept by her mother as a teenager for her sixteenth birthday. Violet discovers many secrets about her mother's 'hidden' supernatural powers and the Loco Oscuro, a dark force that has been trying to destroy her family for decades. Since Violet receives visits from Angels and other strange 'beings', and her mother's journal says that she witnesses the same kind of things, Violet decides that she must discretely go to see her estranged Grandfather Jethro, in Washington New York for answers. She skips school with Damian, her first love, whom she has confided all of her secrets in. They drive an hour out to the country and encounter a freakish microburst upon arrival. Violet discovers her quirky grandfather to be a Mexican Bruja, (which is a fancy name for a sorcerer.) Jethro tells Violet that the family has been preparing her for 'this moment' all of her life, in her dreams, and that she has proven strong enough to face and defeat the Loco Oscuro (The Crazy Darkness) and save the entire family. Violet faces the demon, and defeats the dark forces with the power of her will, her families love and four helpful ghost soldiers; which each turn into brilliant rays of light. Violet's Grandfather then tells her of the harsh personal realities of being a sorceress, and of the difficult choices it creates for her, that may change her life forever.

This book is written using 100% recycled words. No poets were killed suring the making of this book, but that's not for lack of trying. This book also meets each and/or every international ozone help standard, since they haven't gotten their thumbs out of their buts and created any. Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this book. Do not combine with other medications. Rib tickling insanity that makes way too much sense. When men reach a certain age they are supposed to drink too much, cheat on their wives and view celebrity porn. Unfortunately, that got old quick and I found myself writing random sarcasm and irreverence. I figured I'd make it into a book and piss off my ex, who wanted me to write stories back when all I wanted to do were violent stories where some poor man's wife gets killed in creative ways.

One day I took my daughter who was about seven,for a walk on the trails at the Back Bay in Portland, Maine. She was committed to walking the entire way around the bay, which is about six miles. Then about four miles into the walk she wanted to stop. There was really no way to do so. Instead her cleaver daddy wrote an instant poetry abomination that was so disgusting to sing, one could not do so without laughing. So, we changed the final two miles of the walk from a whining pity party to a laugh-a-minute musical march neither of us will ever forget. Welcome to "Birdie Poop!"