Be warned – to commiserate 25 years of misfortune and gloom, Lemony Snicket’s publishers have taken the untold risk of creating brand new collectors’ editions of A Series of Unfortunate Events, illustrated by the obscenely talented Emily Gravett. The temptation to buy a copy is severe indeed… Dear reader, You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution… Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Bad Beginning, the siblings encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune and cold porridge for breakfast. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey and massively popular Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End

Dear Reader,
The guy who usually writes these letters asked me to do it instead. Maybe he was having a bad writing day. Maybe he wanted me to play the sap for him. Or maybe he ran into Trouble with a capital T.
Well, Trouble's in my business. I'm a dog. I'm a detective. The name's Bud Barkin. And this book is about the case I had involving a dame named Delilah Gorbish, whom I would call Trouble with a capital T except I've used that metaphor already, and the clown named Crusty Carmady whose calling card is a teakettle that he heaves through windows. Nice pair of birds. The mystery deepens with another character called the Big Fish, who isn't really a fish and who's addicted to the Home Shopping Network.
Hey, I don't write 'em -- I just solve 'em.
Yours truly,
Bud Barkin, P.E.

Dear possible reader of this book,
My editor asked me to write a third book in my series, "Tales from the House of Bunnicula." And did I have trouble getting started I was afraid I used up all my ideas. But faster than a writer can say "What if?" I came up with a story It's about a lovable and smart (not to mention cute) orphan wirehaired dachshund puppy named Howie, who has a mysterious pain in his leg and is mysteriously invited to attend the Dogwiz Academy for Canine Conjurers. Together, Howie and his best friend, the very, very, very smart Delilah, who speaks in a British accent in this book for some reason, discover they must fight a sinister foe...The-Evil-Force-Whose-Nam-C'not-Be-Spoke
Your friend,
Howie

"

Dear possible reader of this book,

I wasn't sure I'd be able to write a book ever again after Canine Quarterly reviewed my series, Tales from the House of Bunnicula. They said I would never win the Newbony Award. Was I depressed! And I didn't even know what a Newbony was! Luckily Delilah's read a lot of Newbony books, so she helped me write this one. It's about a poor (but very cute) orphan dachshund puppy named Howie Monroe, who lives on the prairie and yearns for a chicken bone. (I know. Trust me.) Things really get exciting when Howie and his best friend, the smart and well-read Delilah, find a time machine and travel back to ancient Egypt where they uncover...the mystery of the Pharaoh's tomb!!!

Your friend,

Howie"

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Slippery Slope the siblings face a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats and a scheming villain... In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: 'Who Could That Be at This Hour?' 'When Did you Last See Her?' 'Shouldn't You Be in School?' 'Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

Jaxter Grimjinx is a born thief. At least, he's supposed to be. For generations, the Grimjinx clan has produced the swiftest, cleverest thieves in Vengekeep, pulling off ingenious heists without ever leaving behind enough evidence to be convicted of a crime. The problem is, Jaxter is clumsy. So clumsy that in his first solo heist, he sets the Castellan's house on fire and lands his family in prison. Even Jaxter's talent for breaking magical locks can't get them out of this bind. Then a suspiciously convenient prophecy emerges, naming the Grimjinx clan as the soon-to-be heroes of Vengekeep. It's good enough to get his family out of the gaol, but when the doomsday prophecy starts to come true, Jaxter is pretty sure a life in the gaol would be a better fate. Now, with the help of his new friend, Callie, Jaxter will have to face down flaming monsters, a bazaar of thieves, and a renegade sorcerer to become the hero he was truly born to be. Full of twists and turns, friendship and adventure, The Vengekeep Prophecies is the first in an unforgettable trilogy that takes everything you thought you knew about fantasy and spins it into pure magic.

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Vile Village the siblings face such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe cell, and some very strange hats. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: 'Who Could That Be at This Hour?' 'When Did you Last See Her?' 'Shouldn't You Be in School?' 'Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Hostile Hospital the siblings face a suspicious shopkeeper, unnecessary surgery, heart-shaped balloons, and some very startling news about a fire. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: 'Who Could That Be at This Hour?' 'When Did you Last See Her?' 'Shouldn't You Be in School?' 'Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

Ten-year-old Persimmony Smudge lives a boring life on the Island in the Middle of Everything, but she longs for adventure. And she soon gets it when she overhears a life-altering secret and suddenly finds herself in the middle of an amazing journey. It turns out that Mount Majestic, the rising and falling mountain in the center of the island, is not really a mountain - it's the belly of a sleeping giant! It's up to Persimmony and her friend Worvil to convince the island's quarreling inhabitants that a giant is sleeping in their midst and must not be awakened. The question is, will she be able to do it?

In this inventive, short, yet perfectly formed novel inspired by traditional Norse mythology, Neil Gaiman takes readers on a wild and magical trip to the land of giants and gods and back.

In a village in ancient Norway lives a boy named Odd, and he's had some very bad luck: His father perished in a Viking expedition; a tree fell on and shattered his leg; the endless freezing winter is making villagers dangerously grumpy.

Out in the forest Odd encounters a bear, a fox, and an eagle--three creatures with a strange story to tell.

Now Odd is forced on a stranger journey than he had imagined--a journey to save Asgard, city of the gods, from the Frost Giants who have invaded it.

It's going to take a very special kind of twelve-year-old boy to outwit the Frost Giants, restore peace to the city of gods, and end the long winter.

Someone cheerful and infuriating and clever . . .

Someone just like Odd .

Dear Reader,

If you have picked up this book with the hope of finding a simple and cheery tale. I'm afraid you have picked up the wrong book altogether. The story may seem cheery at first, when the Baudelaire children spend time in the company of some interesting reptiles and a giddy uncle, but don't be fooled. If you know anything at all about the unlucky Baudelaire children, you already know that even pleasant events lead down the same road to misery.

In fact, within the pages you now hold in your hands, the three siblings endure a car accident, a terrible odor, a deadly serpent, a long knife, a large brass reading lamp, and the reappearance of a person they'd hoped never to see again.

I am bound to record these tragic events, but you are free to put this book back on the shelf and seek something lighter.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Dear possible reader of this book, What's faster than a speeding bullet and more powerful than a pound of Gorgonzola cheese? It's Stinky Dog, the hero of my new book. By a stroke of fate (or is it destiny?) the lovable (not to mention cute) Howie Monroe is transformed into Stinky Dog, protector of the innocent. (Don't worry, he's still lovable.) (Not to mention cute.) The secret of Stinky Dog's power is Super Stench -- an odor so strong it can bend steel (Am I good or what?) Joined by a smart-mouthed sidekick, a sparrow named Little D, Stinky Dog tries to save Center City from villainous, low-life, miserable, rotten, wicked, kindergarten-scissors-stealing gangs who roam the streets, knocking down little old ladies and running off with their handbags Your friend, Howie

There is nothing to be found in the pages of A Series of Unfortunate Events but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-seller to read. But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on ... The Carnivorous Carnival contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal. To avoid causing discomfort, it would be best if I didn't mention any of the ingredients of this story, particularly a confusing map, an ambidextrous person, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank and Chabo the Wolf Baby. Your time might be better filled with something more palatable such as eating your vegetables or feeding them to someone else. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All The Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: 'Who Could That Be at This Hour?' 'When Did you Last See Her?' 'Shouldn't You Be in School?' 'Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Penultimate Peril, the siblings face a harpoon gun, a rooftop sunbathing salon, two mysterious initials, three unidentified triplets, a notorious villain, and an unsavoury curry... In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: 'Who Could That Be at This Hour?' 'When Did you Last See Her?' 'Shouldn't You Be in School?' 'Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The Grim Grotto, the siblings face mushrooms, a desperate search for something lost, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing... In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series starring Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: 'Who Could That Be at This Hour?' 'When Did you Last See Her?' 'Shouldn't You Be in School?' 'Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

SOON TO BE A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

Are you made fainthearted by death? Does fire unnerve you? Is a villain something that might crop up in future nightmares of yours? Are you thrilled by nefarious plots? Is cold porridge upsetting to you? Vicious threats? Hooks? Uncomfortable clothing?It is likely that your answers will reveal A Series of Unfortunate Events to be ill-suited for your personal use.

A librarian, bookseller, or acquaintance should be able to suggest books more appropriate for your fragile temperament. But to the rarest of readers we say, "Proceed, but cautiously."

Dear Reader,

I'm sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very first page of this book when the children are at the beach and receive terrible news, continuing on through the entire story, disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.

In this short book alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.

It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting this book down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.

With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket

Dear reader, There is nothing to be found in Lemony Snicket's 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' but misery and despair. You still have time to choose another international best-selling series to read. But if you insist on discovering the unpleasant adventures of the Baudelaire orphans, then proceed with caution... Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky. In The End, the siblings face a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents. In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Despite their wretched contents, 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' has sold 60 million copies worldwide and been made into a Hollywood film starring Jim Carrey. And in the future things are poised to get much worse, thanks to the forthcoming Netflix series directed by Neil Patrick Harris. You have been warned. Are you unlucky enough to own all 13 adventures? The Bad Beginning The Reptile Room The Wide Window The Miserable Mill The Austere Academy The Ersatz Elevator The Vile Village The Hostile Hospital The Carnivorous Carnival The Slippery Slope The Grim Grotto The Penultimate Peril The End And what about All the Wrong Questions? In this four-book series a 13-year-old Lemony chronicles his dangerous and puzzling apprenticeship in a mysterious organisation that nobody knows anything about: 'Who Could That Be at This Hour?' 'When Did you Last See Her?' 'Shouldn't You Be in School?' 'Why is This Night Different from All Other Nights?' Lemony Snicket was born before you were and is likely to die before you as well. He was born in a small town where the inhabitants were suspicious and prone to riot. He grew up near the sea and currently lives beneath it. Until recently, he was living somewhere else. Brett Helquist was born in Ganado, Arizona, grew up in Orem, Utah, and now lives in New York City. He earned a bachelor's degree in fine arts from Brigham Young University and has been illustrating ever since. His art has appeared in many publications, including Cricket magazine and The New York Times.

This bewitching first novel is a puzzle, wrapped in a mystery, disguised as an adventure and delivered as a work of art. When a book of inexplicable occurences bring Petra Andalee and Calder Pillay together, strange things start to happen- seemingly unrelated events connect, an eccentric old woman seeks their company, and an invaluable Vermeer painting disappears. Before they know it, the two find themselves at the centre of an international art scandal. As Petra and Calder are drawn clue by clue into a mysterious labyrinth they must draw on their powers of intuition, their skills at problem solving, and their knowledge of Vermeer. Can they solve a crime that has left even the FBI baffled?

Get Ready to be Spooked! It was eleven o'clock at night. Peter was in bed on the second floor of the old house where he lived alone. It had gotten so chilly, he went downstairs to turn up the heat. As Peter was on his way back to bed, a black dog ran down the stairs. "Where did you come from?" Peter said. He had never seen the dog before...Welcome to the frightening world of Scary Stories, a collection of folklorist Alvin Schwartz's most alarming tales of horror, dark revenge, and supernatural events of all time, with spine-tingling illustrations by renowned artist Brett Helquist.