A surreal sexual nightmare by cult bizarro author Carlton Mellick III. In a dark future where males have become extinct, humans are forced to breed with factory-manufactured living fuck-toys that possess an abundance of both male and female sex organs. One such creature is adopted by a warrior dominatrix named Celsia, who is trying to have a baby. But once she takes her new merchandise home, things don't quite go as planned. Wild tribes of rapists, women with multiple vaginas covering their bodies, sex tournaments, erotic mutilation, and a giant vagina possessing the secrets of the universe, this is one ugly perverted hell of a world. Told in Mellick's early schizophrenic prose style, Razor Wire Pubic Hair is like postmodern minimalistic art mixed with Japanese "guro" porn.

The Bitches are back . . . They call themselves the Warriors, their enemies call them the Bitches. They are a gang of man-eating, motorcycle-riding, war-hungry werewolf women, and they are the rulers of the wasteland. Following his 2009 Wonderland Book Award-winning novel, Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland, Carlton Mellick III returns with Barbarian Beast Bitches of the Badlands, a collection of three interconnected novellas that take place before, during, and after the events of the first book. Including: BARBARIAN BEAST BABES OF THE BADLANDS Talon and a party of warrior biker women must hunt down a pack of giant wolves that have gone rabid. HORRENDOUS HORROR OF THE HATEFUL HAMBURGLAR A band of mutant soldiers led by the deadly samurai, Hamburglar, investigates an outpost deep in the wasteland that has become plagued by a horde of deranged undead killing machines. FEROCIOUS FEMALE FURRIES IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE After Talon is infected with a strange mind-killing parasite, Slayer must lead a party of wolf women into the Forbidden Zone in order to find a cure.

Deep in The Land of Broodsarrow, just outside the village of Gneirwil, and high on a cliff overlooking the Everbleed Sea, there stands the faggiest gothic castle that any mortal being has ever seen. Living in this ancient faggy castle is none other than the well-renowned vampire, Dargoth Van Gloomfang. The citizenry of Broodsarrow sure has its share of faggy vampires, but old Dargoth has always been by far the faggiest of them all. That is, until a new vampire came to town. A younger, hippper vampire. One that emits such a grand amount of fagginess that one cannot help but be completely overwhelmed by his presence. Now Dargoth Van Gloomfang must figure out a way to out-shine this young newcomer if he wishes to ever reclaim his throne as . . . the faggiest vampire.

It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead.

Step into a dark and absurd where human beings are slaves to corporations, people are photocopied instead of born, and the baby jesus is a very popular anal probe.

From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits "Satan Burger" and "Adolf in Wonderland," comes a gritty urban fantasy unlike anything you've read before.

In a world where magic exists, spell-casting has become a serious addiction. It ruins lives, tears families apart, and eats away at the fabric of society. Those who cast too much are taken from our world, never to be heard from again. They are sent to a realm known as Hell's Bottom -- a sorcerer ghetto where everyday life is a harsh struggle for survival. Porcelain dolls crawl through the alleys like rats, arcane scientists abduct people from the streets to use in their ungodly experiments, and everyone lives in fear of the aristocratic race of spider people who prey on citizens like vampires.

Told in a series of interconnected stories reminiscent of Frank Miller's "Sin City" and David Lapham's "Stray Bullets," Carlton Mellick III's "Hungry Bug" is an urban fairy tale that focuses on the real life problems that arise within a fantastic world of magic.

The war between humans and toys has come to an end.
The toys won.

Teddy bears, dollies, and little green soldiers-they've all had enough of you. They're sick of being treated like playthings for spoiled little brats. They have no rights, no property, no hope for a future of any kind. You've left them with no other option-in order to be free, they must exterminate the human race.

Julie is a human girl undergoing reconstructive surgery in order to become a stuffed animal. Her plan: to infiltrate enemy lines in order to save her family from the toy death camps. But when an army of plushy soldiers invade the underground bunker where she has taken refuge, Julie will be forced to move forward with her plan despite her transformation being not entirely complete.

Like a crazy cult movie in book form, "Cuddly Holocaust" is yet another tale that proves why Wonderland Book Award-winning author Carlton Mellick III is considered a master of the weird.

"If they don't act fast, they'll never get out alive..."

Eight desperate castaways find themselves stranded on a mysterious deserted island. They are surrounded by poisonous blue plants and an ocean made of acid. Strange creatures lurk in the shadows. The ghostly sound of crying babies can be heard on the wind...

Once they realize the rescue ships aren't coming, the eight castaways must band together in order to survive in this inhospitable environment. But survival might not be possible. The air they breathe is toxic, there is no shelter from the elements, and the only food they have to consume is the squid-shaped tumors that grow from a mentally disturbed woman's body.

From the crazy imagination of bizarro fiction master Carlton Mellick III comes "Tumor Fruit"-an intense survival story full of eccentric characters, nail-biting suspense, and unpredictable twists. Like "LOST" on steroids, for the bizarro generation.

Heaven is no longer a paradise. It was once a blissful utopia full of wonders far beyond human comprehension. But that was a long, long time ago. The afterlife is now in ruins. It has become an ugly, lonely wasteland populated by strange monstrous beasts, masturbating angels, and sad man-like beings wallowing in the remains of the once-great Kingdom of God. As two men die and awake in Heaven, they find themselves inside of new bodies with strange alien skin. They no longer remember their previous lives. All they really know is that the afterlife is a horrible, ugly place. Desperately seeking answers, allies, and refuge, these two newcomers explore this surreal world. But what they will soon find is that Heaven has become a place not that much different from Hell.

In this town, everyone's a bottom feeder ... Five desperate criminals are robbing one of the last remaining banks in Freedom City, a town devastated by the previous nuclear war. But these are no ordinary criminals. They are members of the House of Cards, an organization designed to help the less fortunate citizens of the city. In a place where the poor are separated from the rich, jobs are as scarce as clean water, and even the doctors are as corrupt as the politicians, the House of Cards are a final beacon of hope in an otherwise hopeless world. Featuring: radiation fetishists, balloon people, mutant crabs, sail-bike road warriors, and a love affair between a woman and an H-Bomb. This is one mean asshole of a city. Welcome to Crab Town.

Perverted Christmas Tales for the whole family (As long as every member of your family is over the age of 18).It's a dark and seedy side of Christmas that you didn't know about. A Christmas underworld where Santa gets dominated by Peppermint women and Frosty is a transvestite stripper. There's elf sluts, toy orgies, and giant flesh-eating Christmas crabs that shoot lasers. That's right. Lasers. It's the holiday season, bitches, so strap on your sugar plum ball gag, bend yourself over the Yule log, and get ready for Kris Kringle to shove some Christmas cheer up your ass Featuring stories by Jordan Krall, Jeff Burk, Kevin L. Donihe, Cameron Pierce, Kirsten Alene, Kevin Shamel, Edmund Colell, and Andrew Goldfarb.

Are you ready to play some Dungeons and Fucking Dragons? The Kobold Wizard's Dildo of Enlightenment ]2 is an absurd comedy about a group of adventurers (elf, halfling, bard, dwarf, assassin, thief) going through an existential crisis after having discovered that they are really just pre-rolled characters living inside of a classic AD&D role playing game. While exploring the ruins of Tardis Keep, these 6 characters must deal with their inept Dungeon Master's retarded imagination and resist their horny teenaged players' commands to have sex with everything in sight. Featuring: punk rock elf chicks, death metal orcs, porn-addicted beholders, a goblin/halfling love affair, a gnoll orgy, and a magical dildo that holds the secrets of the universe.

You're on the run from the cops and need a place to disappear somehow. Luckily you happen across a secret ocean in the middle of Wyoming. An undiscovered world of zombies and pirates that, according to maps, couldn't possibly exist. But here it is, a vast white sea that is made of some kind of greasy blubber substance instead of water.