THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT FRANCE: You burnt Joan of Arc! ? Smuggling live chickens into rugby matches is patriotic ? How many times to kiss on the cheek ? Where not to cross the road ? French guns don't go 'bang' ? What do you call a party? ? bon appetit is vulgar ? A six-pack is a bar of chocolate ? The dangers of being called Peter or Penny ? Your smallest finger is your 'ear' finger ? The importance of Wednesdays ? How to tip ? and when to celebrate Christmas? Forget the French you learnt at school. Based on twenty years of hard-won knowledge, Pardon My French takes you through all the words you need to survive, shows how and why they work, and steers you past all the pitfalls and potential embarrassments of speaking French in France. From sugar-cube etiquette to why the Marseillaise is all about slaughtering Austrians and Prussians as bloodily as possible, Charles Timoney lays bare the Gallic mindset alongside their bizarre language. Covering all areas of everyday life from eating and drinking to travel, work and, crucially, swearing and sounding like a teenager, this is not just the most entertaining, but also the most useful book on France and the French you'll ever read.

From getting the best value from the "boulangerie" to ordering a steak without getting sneered at, an A-to-Z guide to fitting in "en Francais"
Englishman Charles Timoney was thrown into French life headfirst twenty-five years ago when he and his wife moved to her native France. He had studied French in school, but his memory of vocabulary lists and conjugation drills proved no match for day-to-day living. As he blundered his way toward fluency, he kept a list of words and phrases that wonderfully (sometimes wickedly) epitomized aspects of the French culture-and were used only by native speakers.
"Pardon My French" tackles the delightful absurdities of French life and language and steers readers past the potential embarrassments of speaking French in France. It is a book no student, traveler, or language maven should be without.

Vocabulary alone isn't enough. To survive in the most sophisticated - and the most scathing - nation on Earth you will need to understand the many peculiarities of the (very peculiar) French culture. And for that you need A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi. If you want to fit in with the French you'll have to know how to deal with sardonic waiters; why French children hate Charlemagne; the etiquette of kissing, joke-telling and drinking songs, what to do with a bidet, the correct recipe for a salade nicoise and, of course, how to convey absolute, shattering indifference with a single syllable (Bof!). Charles Timoney, the author of Pardon My French, provides a practical, pleasurable guide to the charms of the Gallic people - from their daily routines to their peerless gesticulations, from their come-ons to their put-downs. Read on and put the oh la la back into your French vacances. Your inner gaul will thank you for it.