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It's time to embrace the slower pace! There's no denying it -
you're OLD, but that comes with a lot of perks. You can say the
most outrageous things and somehow get away with it. You can dress
however you damn well please. And after learning from so many
mistakes, you're now as wise as you are wizened. It's your time to
recline, and this hilarious book will show you how it's done.
See the funny side of ageing with this collection of amusing
observations, silly suggestions and humorous illustrations - the
perfect gift for any birthday girl or boy with more than a few
candles on their cake So you're a little bit older. So what? Just
because you're getting on a bit doesn't mean you have to start
acting ancient. The universe is over 13 billion years old, and
you're probably nowhere near that yet - well, not quite anyway.
Frankly, it's never too early to start enjoying your second
childhood, to stop taking life so seriously and to start acting a
bit silly again. This book will be your go-to guide for inspiration
and merriment while clocking up birthdays like they're going out of
fashion. Across these pages, you'll find all kinds of wild
recommendations and questionable advice, including: Things it's
never too late to do Grown-up and less grown-up ways to behave at
work How to keep up with modern technology Ways you can blend in
with younger people Things you can have tantrums about as you get
older So forget the creaking joints or fleeing follicles and
embrace the opportunities for mischief and mirth - after all,
growing old doesn't mean growing up!
Finally, you're a proper grown-up! But between the paunch and the
mortgage, you're starting to wonder if this is what you really
want. You need midlife crisis survival skills: Stop calling it a
midlife crisis and start calling it Teenagehood part 2. Do go to
the gym occasionally. Don't train to join the Olympic weightlifting
team. This mischievous little book will help you enjoy your second
youth with tongue-in-cheek advice and cheeky illustrations.
Take a brighter look at life on the other side of 40You may never
now become a rock star or regain the waist size you had at 18. You
have taken a sudden interest in bleeding your radiators and
figuring out the best route by road to anywhere in the country. On
the bright side, you can feel smug that you have better grammar
than a college student and don't have to dig out your embarrassing
passport photo to get into bars or buy alcohol.
The future is ours - let's enjoy it! This hilarious fully
illustrated book will help ease you into this strange and
perplexing new stage of your life. After all those years of routine
you're suddenly free! You're bound to be a bit nervous - it is your
first time. No more being bossed about - well, apart from by your
other half, of course. No more getting up at the crack of dawn to
go to work - though at your age you may have to get up at the crack
of dawn anyway to use the loo. No more wage slavery - er, no more
wages... But it's going to be fine, because you can now do what you
want to do - within reason, naturally. Within these pages you'll
discover: - What your new job as "retiree" involves, the hours (all
of them) and the pay (let's face it, if anyone advertised a job
with this salary, no one would take it) - Conversations you will no
longer have to have - Things you no longer have to feel guilty
about - Pursuits for bored retirees - Truths that will slowly dawn
on you - Ways to supplement your pension ...and all the other perks
(and niggles) that come with your new position (and no, we don't
mean "horizontal on the sofa").
You know you're having a midlife crisis when... ... all your
clothes are made of leather - including your pyjamas. Have you
taken a sudden liking to bodycon clothing that's three sizes too
small? Are you considering a sexier upgrade to your car or even
your partner? Try not to panic: it's only a midlife crisis. And
besides, attempting to recapture your youth can be a lot of fun!
Who said there's anything wrong with growing old disgracefully?
Wrinklies Bedside Companion contains everything that the greying
generation needs to know about the world, and quite a lot that they
don't. Specially designed to live on your bedside table, or
wherever you prefer to nap, and to provide light relief before
sleep, be a source of interesting quotes and facts for insomniac
Wrinklies or serve as a one-stop quote shop for all things that
those of you with plenty of life experience will find amusing. Full
of short, jokey pieces looking at various aspects of life from a
Wrinklies' point of view. These pieces are quirky, satirical,
imaginative and above all very funny. They are of course specially
designed to appeal to the older reader by tapping into their
interests, attitudes, opinions, experience, health problems and the
like.
This sparkling collection of golden age wit and wisdom is
proof-positive that the stereotypes of knitting grannies and
doddering granddads just aren't true anymore - if, indeed, they
ever were. Senior citizens are not going gentle into that good
night. They're still out there, living life to the full, taking
selfies, 'silver surfing' the net and showing the rest of us how to
grow up and grow old disgracefully. Because as Maurice Chevalier
said, 'Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.'
This is a joke book specifically designed for oldies, so look out
you young whippersnappers - you probably won't get half of them!
Growing older doesn't mean you have to grow up! If you're the sort
of golden oldie who still likes to party hard, chats up strangers
in bars, listens to loud music (and not because your hearing is
going), or dresses so outrageously that your grandchildren beg you
to 'tone it down', then this book is for you. Full of irreverent
advice on how to misbehave and put the younger generation to shame,
Wrinklies Growing Old Disgracefully is a hilarious celebration of
mis-spent seniority, written by two successful comedy sketch
writers.
Over last thirty years, new technology, fashion, and social set-ups
have spawned new cliches galore. Everything on the Internet is
available at the 'click of a mouse', TV presenters ask the audience
to 'give it up' when they want them to applaud, call centres tell
us 'we value your call' even though 'all our operators are busy'.
And if you're 'gobsmacked' by all this you may be told to 'get a
life', 'chill out' or 'whatever'. It's Not Rocket Science sifts
through all aspects of modern life to find the most prevalent,
ubiquitous and downright irritating cliches of our age. This
high-octane, caffeine-fuelled, dictionary of cliches highlights the
freshly-hackneyed phrases we're being subjected to 24/7. So how
good is that? And what's not to like?
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