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In this book, Rozniecki tackles every random topic a Mensa member
could think up, and if it were possible, even more. In The
Kind-Hearted Smartass: Volume 3: Maybe The Best of the Trilogy,
you'll learn all about: how a Tinder CEO didn't know the definition
of ""sodomy;"" why the TGI Fridays mistletoe drones idea was worse
than slippers in sandals; what the next ""hangry"" might be; and
how online IQ tests read to a snarky mind. Not only that,
Rozniecki: provides the top ten times when it's best to not take a
selfie; explains how Congress is like a marriage; points out the
fact that the Flonase tagline is stupid; and crushes Americans'
hopes that Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg will give them all of his
money, cars, homes, and beauty tips.
The always witty satirist Craig Rozniecki is at it again with his
seventh installment of the "LOL at the GOP" series. In it, he
writes about: Rick Perry's forgetful wisdom; Sarah Palin's literal
family feud; Se or Jeb Bush; why it's inconceivable for many
conservatives to label themselves as Constitutional; how Donald
Trump would write Hallmark cards; a state senator who thinks butts
and vaginas are the same thing; and so much more! So sit back,
relax, and let laughter guide you in "LOL at the GOP - Volume 7:
Obstruction of Conscience."
While in nonsensical actuality Donald Trump's campaign slogan was
"Make America great again!," it probably should have been either
"Make facts fake again!" or "Make bigly stinky BS smell good
again!" It's appeared to be the president's goal to transform the
U.S. into bizarro world, where up is down, black is white, right is
wrong, left is right, and a bouquet of herpes is a popular item at
supermarkets every February 14th. Cite a fact? That's fake news.
Cite fake news? That's a fact. So what do we do when the leader of
our country tries turning reality on its head? Resort to 24-hour
all-you-can-eat buffets, binge-drinking, and laughter, not
necessarily in that order. That's where author Craig Rozniecki's
fifteenth book, "A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly
Clever Title," will come in handy! So join him in attempting to
cope with Trump's bizarro world, as he satirizes politics,
religion, race, every light topic you're advised to talk about on a
first date.
What do you get when you cross an elderly overgrown Oompa Loompa
with a child on steroids? The 2016 Republican presidential nominee,
Donald Trump. Trump has taken his party and the country by storm as
he smooth-talked his way past sixteen other candidates in the GOP
primary by calling Mexicans rapists, mocking disabled reporters,
and basically telling his next-door neighbors they're going to pay
for a fence he wants to place around his own backyard. In this
book, you'll read all about: Which state believes dentists provide
abortions in addition to cleanings; whether or not Ben Carson
thinks the Middle East includes the states of North Carolina and
Virginia; why Ted Cruz appears to understand basketball about as
well as sloths understand speed walking; as well as anything and
everything that is Donald J. Trump. Yes, orange might be the new
black in the world of Netflix, but orange has become the new crazy
in the world of politics.
A Tea Party may not sound crazy at first, but once the likes of Ted
Cruz, Louie Gohmert, and Steve King show up at the door, it will
make any frat party look tame in comparison. This level of
craziness is on full display in Craig Rozniecki's twelfth book, LOL
at the GOP - Volume 5: You Can't Spell "Forgot To Take Their Crazy
Pills" Without "Tea Party." In this book, read all about: One Tea
Partier's claim that abortion leads to global warming, Donald
Trump's attempt to sue Bill Maher over an orangutan joke,
Representative Steve Stockman's endorsement from a dead person, and
so much more! Not only that, but this book answers all the tough
questions, such as: Does President Obama hate white people, even
though he's part white himself?; Did Gandhi carry guns with him on
peaceful marches?: Do cookies make up for the stripping of women's
rights?; and more!
Want something cheap which will make you laugh like you're on
nitrous oxide, feel as high as a kite shaped like a marijuana
plant, and drunk, while still being completely legal? Then grab
yourself a bottle of whiskey and read this book, The Kind-Hearted
Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue. In this book,
Craig Rozniecki - author of The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck and the
LOL at the GOP series - goes in-depth with more topics than an
obsessive mathematician would care to count, which include: What
passing bills would be like if Congress was drunk, where
narcissists can go for dating (besides a mirror), why saying ""just
sayin'"" is kind of annoying, how there can be such a thing as a
germaphobic nymphomaniac, and more So, go on, grab that bottle of
whiskey, sit back, and laugh harder than a dentist nicknamed ""Dr.
Chuckles,"" while reading Rozniecki's tenth book, The Kind-Hearted
Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue.
What do you get when a group of people worships a non-violent
individual and guns in the same breath while believing businesses
and unborn beings should have more rights than women, minorities,
and homosexuals? According to author Craig Rozniecki and his
eleventh book, it's the modern-day Republican Party. In LOL at the
GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses, Rozniecki
answers the following questions: Is it wise to run a marathon with
a gun?; can stroking horses ""cure"" people of homosexuality?; do
liberals talk about abortion while in the shower?; and many others.
Not only that, but in this book, Rozniecki plays the undeclared Fox
News game ""The Three Degrees of Benghazi,"" has some fun with the
GOP's Obamacare-paranoia, and even goes so far as to refute
Louisiana Republicans' belief that President Obama was more to
blame for the poor Hurricane Katrina response than former President
George W. Bush. So, sit back, relax, and for the fourth time, get
ready to LOL at the GOP
This just in - two volumes of political satire poking fun at the
Republican Party is not nearly enough. At the rate the GOP is
going, 222 volumes may not be enough. That brings us to LOL at the
GOP - Volume 3: Guns Don't Kill, Cars Don't Drive, and Ovens Don't
Bake. In it, author Craig Rozniecki answers the following
questions: Are spoons, credit cards, & ping-pong balls as
dangerous as guns? Do guns, churches, breakfasts, & library
books have so much in common they may match one another on
EHarmony.com? Is it more deadly to shoot fictional characters with
a toy gun in a video game than it is to shoot people with an actual
gun in real life? Also, with this book, learn all about: Why it's
more moral for former South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford to cheat
on his wife than it is for a gay couple to get married, why
conserving the environment is such a turn-off for conservatives,
& what House Speaker John Boehner's favorite three-word phrase
is (surprisingly it's not "I love orange!" or "Crying is sexy!").
He's back!!! In light of his success with LOL at the GOP, which
prompted him to be featured on a political radio talk show, and the
fact the election year provided him with so much material it made
billionaire hoarders jealous, author Craig Rozniecki decided it
would have been criminal to not write a second volume. LOL at the
GOP - Volume 2: 47% Awesome 100% of the Time is Rozniecki's seventh
book overall. In it, Rozniecki does the following: Provides
Republicans with more excuses on why they lost the election; gives
them advice on how to reach out to voters whom aren't old, white,
and male via personal ads; presents an infomercial for Romnesia;
goes in-depth about a pro-life Republican who is also pro-death
penalty for kids; and much more! Yes, with LOL at the GOP - Volume
2: 47% Awesome 100% of the Time, prepare to laugh some of the time
all of the time! Potential side effects from reading the book
include: An increase in IQ, strange dreams, a loss in weight, and
no longer needing Viagra.
Many people may be coy when touching the subject of politics, but
in this book - LOL at the GOP - author Craig Rozniecki not only
touches it, he grabs a hold of, caresses and rocks its world to the
point where he may be charged and sent away for a while. In his
sixth book, Rozniecki penetrates deeply into the following: What
Mitt Romney's best pick-up lines are at bars, if it's true that the
Ku Klux Klan endorsed Barack Obama for president, what a
conversation might sound like between hard-core Republicans and
Jesus, how many whoppers Rush Limbaugh has both told and eaten, and
much more. LOL at the GOP is the perfect book for liberal and
moderate readers, as well as conservative pyromaniacs. It's filled
with more facts than a comic strip and more one-liners than you'd
find at a Charlie Sheen party. So get the book, get the facts and
get ready to LOL at the GOP!
Ever been on a date where your date pretended to figure skate on
the carpet for two hours? Has a friend, date, or loved one ever
confessed their love of mannequins to you? Want to know what the
top ten post-presidential jobs are for George W. Bush? Ever wonder
how Valentine's Day came to be, fictionally speaking? Wonder no
more. All these questions will be answered, experiences will be
shared, and then some, in The Serious Scale of Sarcasm: More
Balanced Than a Drunken High-Heeled Clown on a Tight Rope. Craig
Rozniecki, author of Seasons Come, People Grow: A Poetic Journey,
goes a very different route in his second book, as he goes from
vague, open to interpretation poetry to very blunt and in your face
humor and analysis. Rozniecki makes fun of anything from
commercials to politicians to celebrities to the Internet(s). All
this is talked about and so much more in Rozniecki's second book,
The Serious Scale of Sarcasm: More Balanced Than a Drunken
High-Heeled Clown on a Tight Rope.
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