Dave Barry makes his fiction debut with a ferociously funny novel of love and mayhem in south Florida. In the city of Coconut Grove, Florida, these things happen: A struggling adman named Eliot Arnold drives home from a meeting with the Client From Hell. His teenage son, Matt, fills a Squirtmaster 9000 for his turn at a high school game called Killer. Matt's intended victim, Jenny Herk, sits down in front of the TV with her mom for what she hopes will be a peaceful evening for once. Jenny's alcoholic and secretly embezzling stepfather, Arthur, emerges from the maid's room, angry at being rebuffed. Henry and Leonard, two hit men from New Jersey, pull up to the Herks' house for a real game of Killer, Arthur's embezzlement apparently not having been quite so secret to his employers after all. And a homeless man named Puggy settles down for the night in a treehouse just inside the Herks' yard. In a few minutes, a chain of events that will change the lives of each and every one of them will begin, and will leave some of them wiser, some of them deader, and some of them definitely looking for a new line of work. With a wicked wit, razor-sharp observations, rich characters, and a plot with more twists than the Inland Waterway, Dave Barry makes his debut a complete and utter triumph.

In this "little gem" (Washington Independent Review of Books), Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and New York Times bestselling author Dave Barry learns how to age happily from his old but joyful dog, Lucy. As Dave Barry turns seventy-not happily-he realizes that his dog, Lucy, is dealing with old age far better than he is. She has more friends, fewer worries, and way more fun. So Dave decides to figure out how Lucy manages to stay so happy, to see if he can make his own life happier by doing the things she does (except for drinking from the toilet). He reconnects with old friends and tries to make new ones-which turns out to be a struggle, because Lucy likes people a lot more than he does. And he gets back in touch with two ridiculous but fun groups from his past: the Lawn Rangers, a group of guys who march in parades pushing lawnmowers and twirling brooms (alcohol is involved), and the Rock Bottom Remainders, the world's oldest and least-talented all-author band. With each new lesson, Dave riffs hilariously on dogs, people, and life in general, while also pondering Deep Questions, such as when it's okay to lie. (Answer: when scallops are involved.) Lessons From Lucy shows readers a new side to Dave Barry that's "touching and sentimental, but there's still a laugh on every page" (The Sacramento Bee). The master humorist has written a witty and affable guide to joyous living at any age.

A New York Times bestseller-a brilliantly funny exploration of the Sunshine State from the man who knows it best: Pulitzer Prize winner Dave Barry. We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Join him as he goes in hunt of the legendary Skunk Ape; hobnobs with the mermaids of Weeki Wachee Springs; and visits Cassadaga, the psychic capital of the world, to have his dog's aura read (apparently, she's "very spiritual"). Hitch a ride for the non-stop thrills of alligator-wrestling ("the gators display the same fighting spirit as a Barcalounger"), the hair-raising spectacle of a clothing-optional bar in Key West, and the manly manliness of the Machine Gun Experience in Miami. It's the most hilarious book yet from "the funniest damn writer in the whole country" (Carl Hiaasen, and he should know). By the end, you'll have to admit that whatever else you might think about Florida-you can never say it's boring.

Don'teven "think" of starting this bookunless you're sitting in a comfortable chair and have lots of time. Afast-paced, impossible-to-put-down adventure awaits as the young orphan Peterand his mates are dispatched to an island ruled by the evil King Zarboff. Theyset sail aboard the "Never" "Land," a ship carrying a precious and mysterious trunk inits cargo hold, and the journey quickly becomes fraught with excitement anddanger.
Discoverrichly developed characters in the sweet but sophisticated Molly, the scary butfamiliar Black Stache, and the fearless Peter. Treacherous battles withpirates, foreboding thunderstorms at sea, and evocative writing immerses thereader in a story that slowly and finally reveals the secrets and mysteries ofthe beloved "Peter Pan."

Barry follows his acclaimed debut novel "Big Trouble" with a book that "leads readers into a crazy complexity of money laundering, drug dealing, murder, sex, violence, hijacking, and undercover work" ("Library Journal").

Since Dave Barry writes about weird things, you might be tempted to think he has a weird brain. He does, of course, but that's not the whole explanation: A lot of the things he writes about - exploding Pop-Tarts, for example - are real. In fact, Dave's main job as a humor columnist - aside from playing Stealth Fighter on his computer to avoid writing humor columns - is to point out what is already funny in a world that is seriously bonkers. In Dave's world, amazing but true adventures occur every day, as the Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist investigates a ground-breaking anti-flatulence product recommended to him by a justice of the U.S. Supreme Court; the ecologically dangerous shellfish attacking women's undergarments; and the epidemic of snakes and woodland creatures currently appearing in people's toilets. Dave's bad song contest required him to read thousands of entries from people like you; now, people like you can have the pleasure of being badgered by all the bad songs that badger Dave. Dave also participates in real-life feats of investigative journalism that actually require him to leave the house: marching with the Lawn Rangers precision lawnmower drill team of Arcola, Illinois; playing lead guitar in an extremely mediocre rock band with Stephen King and other literary lights: and taking his little boat Buster from its happy berth in the Barry garage onto Miami's high seas, only to run it aground. He's even appeared in an episode of "Dave's World, " the CBS television show based on his real life - only taller - in which he bids for an air conditioner. Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up includes longer feature pieces by Dave in which many of the featured facts happen to beaccurate. Now you can read Dave Barry on UFO thrillseekers and the Elvis lovers who hang out at Graceland - all articles that show Dave at his best and smartest. Complete with illustrations by Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Jeff MacNelly, Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up brings you

In this hilarious novel, written in the voice of eighth-grader Wyatt Palmer, Dave Barry takes us on a class trip to Washington, DC. Wyatt, his best friend, Matt, and a few kids from Culver Middle School find themselves in a heap of trouble-not just with their teachers, who have long lost patience with them-but from several mysterious men they first meet on their flight to the nation's capital. In a fast-paced adventure with the monuments as a backdrop, the kids try to stay out of danger and out of the doghouse while trying to save the president from attack-or maybe not.

"Dave Barry is one funny human."
--"San Francisco Examiner"
For thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. Deep down inside, guys are extremely shallow.
But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them. If you're a guy--or if you're attempting to share a remote control with one--you need this book, because it deals frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as:

Scratching
The role of guys in world history, including the heretofore-unknown relationship between the discovery of North America and golf
Why the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series, but not necessarily the names of all his children
The Noogie Gene
Why guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breasts
Secret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher Method
Why guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a prostate
And much, much more

"Whether you're a guy--or attempting to share a bathroom with one--Barry has some wacky words of wisdom for you."
--"USA Today"

Set sail for high-seas hijinks and nautical nonsense with those paragons of Pirattitude who invented the famous International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Whether readers are old hands at pirating or hopeless landlubbers, the Pirate Guys will have them pirate-savvy in no time with sure-fire pirate pickup lines for any occasion, tips on how to make their pirate party a buccaneer ball that even Martha Stewart would be proud of, and help determining their true pirate monicker.

The New York Times calls him "the funniest man in America," and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide.
In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on:
- The scientific search for the world's funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word "weasel")
- RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot
- Outwitting "smart" kitchen appliances and service contracts
- Elections in Florida ("You can't spell Florida without 'duh'")
- The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating
- The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui
- The choice between death and taxes
And much, much more--including some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11.
Dave Barry won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in more than 500 newspapers. His most recent books, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down and the novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business, were national bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh.
Also available as an eBook

"From the Hardcover edition."

When funnyman Dave Barry asked readers about their least favorite tunes, he thought he was penning just another installment of his weekly syndicated humor column. But the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response when over 10,000 readers voted. "I have never written a column that got a bigger response than the one announcing the Bad Song Survey," Barry wrote.Based on the results of the survey, Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs is a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. Dave Barry fans will relish his quirky take. Music buffs, too will appreciate this humorous stroll through the world's worst lyrics. The only thing wrong with this book is that readers will find themselves unable to stop mentally singing the greatest hits of Gary Puckett.

America's Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist talks back--in paperback! The 120,000-copy hardcover bestseller is now available in trade paperback format. "Want to impress your friends? Tell them you read the latest work by the 1988 Pulitzer Prize-winner for commentary. Just don't tell them it's full of booger jokes".--Orange County Register. 63 drawings.

If you love to laugh, if you love your country, if you are unaware that "the Sixth Amendment states that if you are accused of a crime, you have the right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty," Dave Barry Slept Here is the book for you. Every single momentous event and crucial movement is covered, including:

The Birthing Contractions of a Nation
Kicking Some British Butt
The Forging of a Large, Wasteful Bureaucracy
The Civil War: A Nation Pokes Itself in the Eyeball
The Fifties: Peace, Prosperity, Brain Death
The Reagan-Bush Years: Napping Toward Glory
And much more!

I'll Mature When I'm Dead is the New York Times bestseller from "the funniest man in America" (New York Times). Let Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and nationally unrecognized voice of maturity Dave Barry make the journey to adulthood a little easier-and a lot funnier. Not everyone has to be dragged kicking and screaming through adulthood. Dave Barry will help through this process-with his hilarious takes on parenting, changing self-image, the battle of the sexes, technology, health care, celebrityhood, and even vampires!