A Sunday Times Best Book for Children 2023 From million-copy bestselling author David Baddiel comes a laugh-out-loud collection of three short stories for readers of 8 and up, brilliantly illustrated by Jim Field and Steven Lenton. MEET ALFIE… THE BOY WHO COULD DO WHAT HE LIKED! Previously published for World Book Day 2016 Alfie has a routine. To be honest he has a lot of routines. But then one day Alfie’s babysitter is unavailable, and Alfie’s parents get Mrs Stokes instead. Mrs Stokes doesn’t do routines. Instead, she just tells Alfie to do what he likes. And that’s when things start to go weird. Does everything get hilariously out of control? Yes. Does Alfie learn a valuable lesson? Nah. This isn’t that kind of story… DISCOVER CHRISSIE… THE GIRL WHO HAD NEVER BEEN ON A TRAIN! Chrissie loves trains. She has train books, train pictures – and, of course, model trains. But Chrissie has never been on an actual train. In part, because Chrissie doesn't find getting around as easy as other people. Then, Chrissie finally gets on a train, with her Grandpa Henry, to go down to London for an important operation. Her parents and Henry hope the journey will take Chrissie's mind off things. And they're right: but in a way they couldn't possibly imagine. Because Chrissie's trip from Scotland to London turns out to be quite literally magical – and changes her life forever. MARVEL AT ARIEL… THE CHILD WHO HAD NEVER BEEN ON HOLIDAY! Every year, Max, Lily and Jack are taken to Snoring-On-Sea for their holiday – quite possibly the most boring town in the world. There’s nothing to do and nothing to see – even the beach at Snoring-on-Sea is dull and grey. But this year, something DOES happen. The children meet someone on a tiny island out at sea – a mysterious child called Ariel. Ariel claims to have never left their tiny island, and to Ariel, everything about Max, Lily and Jack’s lives is amazing – fish and chips, fizzy drinks… even the view of the brick wall out of their bedroom window. And their new friend forces Max, Lily and Jack to see Snoring-On-Sea in a whole new light… Three hilarious, heart-warming and adventure-filled stories that will have you laughing out loud!

A funny, exciting, David vs Goliath adventure with a heart-warming father-son relationship – perfect for fans of Danny the Champion of the World, Millions, and Ratatouille.

The story of one boy and his brilliant burgers!

Benny Burns spends every weekend helping his dad by working at their burger van, parked outside the local football ground. And when Benny finds his grandfather’s old recipe book and begins following its instructions, he starts cooking INCREDIBLE food – so good, in fact, that he attracts the unwanted attention of fast food giant Bonkers Burgers! and its CEO, Bodley Bonkers.

To Bodley, Benny and his burgers are a threat that must be eliminated… by any means necessary.

And so, along with his dad and his two best friends, Jasper and Mina, Benny must find a way to defeat Bonkers Burgers, help rescue his dad’s business, and share his passion for cooking with the world – a mission that leads to him competing with the world’s greatest chef to cook the best burger.

Special 10th anniversary edition with bonus content

This special edition marks ten years of the brilliantly funny children’s novel. The Parent Agency is an epic wish-fulfilment adventure for every child – and for the child in everyone.

Barry said, a third time, “I wish I had better parents!” And then suddenly the entire room started to shake…

Barry Bennett hates being called Barry. In fact it’s number 2 on the list of things he blames his parents for, along with 1) ‘being boring’ and 3) ‘always being tired’.

But there is a world, not far from this one, where parents don’t have children. That’s far too random for something so big and important. In this world, children are allowed to choose their parents.

For Barry Bennett, this world seems like a dream come true. Only things turn out to be not quite that simple…

How identity politics failed one particular identity.

Jews Don’t Count is a book for people on the right side of history. People fighting the good fight against homophobia, disablism, transphobia and, particularly, racism. People, possibly, like you.

It is the comedian and writer David Baddiel’s contention that one type of racism has been left out of this fight. In his unique combination of reasoning, polemic, personal experience and jokes, Baddiel argues that those who think of themselves as on the right side of history have often ignored the history of anti-Semitism. He outlines why and how, in a time of intensely heightened awareness of minorities, Jews don’t count as a real minority.

A searingly honest, funny and moving family memoir in which David Baddiel exposes his mother’s idiosyncratic sex life, and his father’s dementia, to the same affectionate scrutiny.

On the surface, David Baddiel’s childhood was fairly standard: a lower-middle-class Jewish family living in an ordinary house in Dollis Hill, north-west London. But David came to realise that his mother was in fact not ordinary at all. Having escaped extermination by fleeing Nazi Germany as a child, she was desperate to make her life count, which took the form of a passionate, decades-long affair with a golfing memorabilia salesman. David’s detailing of the affair – including a hilarious focus on how his mother turned their household over to golf memorabilia, and an eye-popping cache of her erotic writings – leads to the inescapable conclusion that Sarah Baddiel was a cross between Jack Niklaus and Erica Jong.

Meanwhile, as Baddiel investigates his family’s past, his father’s memories are fading; dementia is making him moodier and more disinhibited, with an even greater penchant for obscenity. As with his mother’s affair, there is both comedy and poignancy to be found: laughter is a constant presence, capable of transforming the darkest of experiences into something redemptive.

My Family: The Memoir is David Baddiel’s candid examination of his childhood, family and memory offering a twisted love letter to his parents.

A hilarious rollercoaster ride of pure entertainment for 9+ readers everywhere, Birthday Boy is the new Baddiel Blockbuster: featuring David’s inimitable and award-winning combination of wish-fulfilment, heart and hilarity, all brought to life by regular collaborator Jim Field’s witty, stylish illustrations.

What if it was every day?

This is the story of Sam Green, who really, really, really loves birthdays. He loves the special breakfasts in bed. The presents. The themed parties. Blowing out the candles on his cake. Everything.

He is so excited about his 11th birthday, in fact, that he wishes it was his birthday every day.

So, at first, it’s quite exciting when his birthday happens again the next morning. And again. And again. And again…

But it’s not long before things start to go wrong. Soon, disaster strikes, threatening something Sam loves even more than birthdays.

Sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for…

From David Baddiel, the brightest new star of children's books and winner of the LOLLIES award, comes a laugh-out-loud adventure for every child who ever wondered what it might be like to be a bit of an animal... Malcolm doesn't like animals. Which is a problem because his family love them. Their house is full of pets. What the house is NOT full of is stuff Malcolm likes. Such as the laptop he wanted for his birthday. The only bright spot on the horizon is the Year Six school trip, which Malcolm never thought his parents would pay for. And yet there he is, on the bus, heading to... oh no. A farm. Over the next days, Malcolm changes. He learns a lot about animals. More, in many ways, than he would like. He learns what it's really like to be an animal. A whole series of animals, in fact... It does make him think differently. And speak differently. And eat differently. And, um, smell differently. But will he end up the same as before? Because sometimes the hardest thing to become is... yourself.

The new novel from David Baddiel, comedian, columnist and author of the critically-praised The Secret Purposes. In New York's Mt. Sinai hospital, the world's greatest living writer, Eli Gold, is dying. Witnessing his death are his precocious 8-year-old daughter by his present (fifth) wife, his anxiety-ridden 44-year-old son from his third marriage, and his 89-year-old first wife, watching on TV from a care home in London. And also, secretly, his fourth wife's fundamentalist Mormon brother, who has never got over his sister's death in a suicide pact with Eli, a suicide pact that Eli survived. The Death of Eli Gold is a comedy, a thriller, and a meditation on love, death, aging, sex, fame, and the idea - the dying idea - of The Great Man.

A searingly honest, funny and moving family memoir in which David Baddiel exposes his mother’s idiosyncratic sex life, and his father’s dementia, to the same affectionate scrutiny.

On the surface, David Baddiel’s childhood was fairly standard: a lower-middle-class Jewish family living in an ordinary house in Dollis Hill, north-west London. But David came to realise that his mother was in fact not ordinary at all. Having escaped extermination by fleeing Nazi Germany as a child, she was desperate to make her life count, which took the form of a passionate, decades-long affair with a golfing memorabilia salesman. David’s detailing of the affair – including a hilarious focus on how his mother turned their household over to golf memorabilia, and an eye-popping cache of her erotic writings – leads to the inescapable conclusion that Sarah Baddiel was a cross between Jack Niklaus and Erica Jong.

Meanwhile, as Baddiel investigates his family’s past, his father’s memories are fading; dementia is making him moodier and more disinhibited, with an even greater penchant for obscenity. As with his mother’s affair, there is both comedy and poignancy to be found: laughter is a constant presence, capable of transforming the darkest of experiences into something redemptive.

My Family: The Memoir is David Baddiel’s candid examination of his childhood, family and memory offering a twisted love letter to his parents.

Track Listings
Side: 1
1 : Three Lions (It's Coming Home for Christmas) - Baddiel, Skinner & Lightning Seeds / The Lightning Seeds
Side: 2
1 : Three Lions 96 - Baddiel, Skinner & Lightning Seeds / The Lightning Seeds

David Baddiel, Frank Skinner & The Lightning Seeds have recorded a new version of their iconic football anthem 'Three Lions (It's Coming Home for Christmas)' coming out November 18th 2022, before the World Cup kicks off November 20th. The trio were so inspired when England Women won the Euros this summer, that they re-recorded the track with new lyrics featuring an audio clip of the Lionesses triumphant press conference. 'Three Lions (Football's Coming Home)' is the only song to have ever become UK number one on four separate occasions with the same artists: twice in 1996 when it was originally released, for three straight weeks in 1998 and again in 2018 when it made chart history by moving up from number 24 to number one in one week. During the 2020 Euros, the song spent 4 weeks in the top ten and on the final day of that tournament had over 3 million Spotify streams. This year is the first time in over 20 years that we have brand new content and full access to Baddiel, Skinner and Lightning Seeds.

From the author of THE PARENT AGENCY comes a thrilling, funny and touching new adventure. Fred and Ellie are twins. But not identical (because that's impossible for a boy and a girl). They do like all the same things, though. Especially video games. Which they are very good at. They aren't that good, however, at much else - like, for example, football, or dealing with the school bullies. Then, they meet the Mystery Man, who sends them a video game controller, which doesn't look like any other controller they've ever seen. And it doesn't control any of their usual games. When the twins find out what it does control, though, it seems like the answer to all their problems. And the key to all their wildest dreams. At least it seems like that...

From million-copy bestselling author David Baddiel comes a laugh-out-loud and inspiring new adventure for all readers of 8 and up that is ahead of its time – 1,001 years ahead, to be precise…

The year is 3020.

Pip@256X#YY.3_7 is lonely and bored: she goes to virtual school on her G-Glasses, she only has a talking cat and parrot to hang out with, and she can’t even leave her LivingSpace due to the extreme heat and floods outside.

Until the day that Pip explores a glowing ring in a lab and finds herself in a warehouse, in 2019.

Where she meets boy-inventor Rahul – who is also lonely and bored.

Together, Rahul and Pip are no longer lonely. But they have a whole load of new problems, including hiding talking animals from Rahul’s parents, and finding a way back to the future.

Plus – just maybe – saving the world…

Future Friend is a terrifically entertaining time-slip adventure that combines action, laugh-out-loud humour and the importance of friendship, in a story that asks the question – what would happen if your best friend came from the future?

From million-copy bestselling author David Baddiel comes a laugh-out-loud story for readers of 8 and up that takes you on a roller-coaster ride of fame and friendship… Nothing extraordinary has ever happened to Billy Smith. In fact, every single thing about him is ordinary, including his name. But when a documentary crew turns up at Billy’s school to film the new TV series School Daze, everything changes. Billy shouldn’t stand out: all the other kids are much more interesting than him. But when remixes of his boring class presentation go viral, Billy finds himself accidentally an overnight star. With his friends Bo and Rinor by his side, his life turns into a whirlwind of red carpets, TV shows, albums and even the possibility of meeting Sunshine De Marto – the coolest girl on the planet. But as everyone knows, fame comes with a price… The Boy Who Got Accidentally Famous is an epically entertaining tale, brought to life with illustrations by the brilliant Steven Lenton, which asks the question – what if everyone suddenly knew your name…?

From the million-copy bestselling author of THE PARENT AGENCY and BIRTHDAY BOY comes a wildly entertaining wish-fulfilment adventure that asks the question: what would happen if the strictest head teacher swapped bodies with the naughtiest kid in school?

Strictest head ÷ naughtiest boy = chaos.

Bracket Wood is about to be visited by the school inspectors. But there’s one big problem: Ryan Ward.

The maestro of practical jokes, Ryan has played so many tricks that in the end the Head Teacher just walks out. And then the new Head Teacher, Mr Carter, arrives. A man so strict even the teachers are scared of him. So imagine his surprise – and Ryan’s – when they swap bodies.

Now Ryan is Head Teacher – and his mortal enemy is one of his pupils. It’s every naughty kid’s dream!

But soon Bracket Wood School is in a total mess – and only its worst ever pupil can fix it…

A new edition of Primo Levi's classic memoir of the Holocaust, with an introduction by David Baddiel, author of Jews Don't Count 'With the moral stamina and intellectual pose of a twentieth-century Titan, this slightly built, dutiful, unassuming chemist set out systematically to remember the German hell on earth, steadfastly to think it through, and then to render it comprehensible in lucid, unpretentious prose... One of the greatest human testaments of the era' Philip Roth 'Levi's voice is especially affecting, so clear, firm and gentle, yet humane and apparently untouched by anger, bitterness or self-pity... If This Is a Man is miraculous, finding the human in every individual who traverses its pages' Philippe Sands 'The death of Primo Levi robs Italy of one of its finest writers... One of the few survivors of the Holocaust to speak of his experiences with a gentle voice' Guardian '[What] gave it such power... was the sheer, unmitigated truth of it; the sense of what a book could achieve in terms of expanding one's own knowledge and understanding at a single sitting... few writers have left such a legacy... A necessary book' Independent

It’s the latest Brilliant Blockbuster from bestselling Baddiel! A non-stop thrill-ride adventure that will have readers young and old racing to the finishing line.

The Taylor TurboChaser is a road-trip rollercoaster… with a twist.

At its heart is the unforgettable Amy Taylor. Amy loves cars, and dreams of being a driver. But there’s a major catch: her slow old wheelchair with its broken wheel. When Amy finally gets a new electric one, it’s exciting… at first.

But standard engines only have so much power. And that’s where Rahul comes in – Amy’s best friend and genius inventor. Soon Rahul turns a wheelchair into… a supercar!

And so the Taylor TurboChaser is born. But when it all goes suddenly wrong Amy is going to have to hit the road – and drive…

The HILARIOUS new novel and the year’s most perfect festive gift – from million-copy bestselling author David Baddiel It used to be the most WONDERFUL time of the year, but for years Christmas has been taken over by Winterzone. All the things that made Christmas special are gone: the human connection, the baubles passed down through generations, even the rubbish cracker jokes. Instead, Christmas is run by robots, while 3D holograms of Santa Claus called Santavatars check if you’ve been naughty or nice – and on Christmas Eve, all of the presents are delivered by ZoneDrones instead of Santa’s reindeer! But when they stumble on a curious clue, eleven-year-old Etta and her friend Monty find themselves thrown into a fight to bring back Christmas. Racing against time and against the might of Winterzone, they must find the real Santa – before the true meaning of the festive season is lost forever . . .

INTRODUCED BY DAVID BADDIEL 'Elizabeth Taylor is finally being recognised as an important British author: an author of great subtlety, great compassion and great depth. As a reader, I have found huge pleasure in returning to Taylor's novels and short stories many times over. As a writer I've returned to her too - in awe of her achievements, and trying to work out how she does it' SARAH WATERS Vinny Tumulty is a quiet, sensible man. When he goes to stay at a seaside town, his task is to comfort Isabella, a bereaved friend, and and he is prepared for a solemn few days of tears and consolation. But on the evening of his arrival, he looks out of the window at the sunset and catches sight of a beautiful woman walking by the seashore. Before the week is over Vinny has fallen in love, completely and utterly, for the first time in his middle-aged life. Emily, though, is a sleeping beauty, her secluded life hiding bitter secrets from the past.

From the million copy bestselling author of THE PARENT AGENCY and BIRTHDAY BOY comes a wildly entertaining wish-fulfilment adventure that asks the question: what would happen if the strictest head teacher swapped bodies with the naughtiest kid in school?

Strictest head ÷ naughtiest boy = chaos.

Bracket Wood is about to be visited by the school inspectors. But there’s one big problem: Ryan Ward.

The maestro of practical jokes, Ryan has played so many tricks that in the end the Head Teacher just walks out. And then the new Head Teacher, Mr Carter, arrives. A man so strict even the teachers are scared of him. So imagine his surprise – and Ryan’s – when they swap bodies.

Now Ryan is Head Teacher – and his mortal enemy is one of his pupils. It’s every naughty kid’s dream!

But soon Bracket Wood School is in a total mess – and only its worst ever pupil can fix it…

THE SECRET PURPOSES, David Baddiel's third novel, takes us into a little-known and still somewhat submerged area of British history: the internment of German Jewish refugees on the Isle of Man during the Second World War. Isaac Fabian, on the run with his young family from Nazism in East Prussia, comes to Britain assuming he has found asylum, but instead finds himself drowning in the morass of ignorance, half-truth, prejudice, and suspicion that makes up government attitudes to German Jews in 1940. One woman, June Murray, a translator from the Ministry of Information, stands out - and when she comes to the island on a personal mission to uncover solid evidence of Nazi atrocities, her meeting with Isaac will have far-reaching consequences for both of them. A haunting and beautifully written tale of love, displacement and survival, THE SECRET PURPOSES profoundly questions the way that truth - both personal and political - emerges from the tangle of history.

David Baddiel would love there to be a God. He has spent a lot of time fantasising about how much better life would be if there actually was such a thing as a Superhero Dad who chased off Death. Unfortunately for him, there isn’t.

Or at least, that is Baddiel’s view in this book, which argues that it is indeed the very intensity of his, and everyone else’s, desire for God to exist that proves His non-existence. Anything so deeply wished-for we will, considers Baddiel, make real. The admission of his own divine yearnings makes for a book that is more vulnerable – and more understanding of the value and power of religion – than most atheist polemics.

A philosophical essay that utilises Baddiel’s trademarks of comedy, storytelling and personal asides, The God Desire offers a highly readable new perspective on the most ancient of debates.

North American Edition of the UK Bestseller How identity politics failed one particular identity. 'a must read and if you think YOU don't need to read it, that's just the clue to know you do.' SARAH SILVERMAN 'a masterpiece.' STEPHEN FRY Jews Don't Count is a book for people on the right side of history. People fighting the good fight against homophobia, disablism, transphobia and, particularly, racism. People, possibly, like you. It is the comedian and writer David Baddiel's contention that one type of racism has been left out of this fight. In his unique combination of reasoning, polemic, personal experience and jokes, Baddiel argues that those who think of themselves as on the right side of history have often ignored the history of anti-Semitism. He outlines why and how, in a time of intensely heightened awareness of minorities, Jews don't count as a real minority.

Comedy written and co-produced by David Baddiel. Omid Djalili stars as Mahmud Nasir, a dyed-in-the-wool (if somewhat relaxed) Muslim who lives with his family in London's East End. Mahmud's world is turned upside down when he discovers after the death of his mother that he was adopted at birth - and that he is actually a Jew. Caught in the grip of a full-scale identity crisis, Mahmud turns to drunken Jewish cabbie Lenny (Richard Schiff) for reassurance.