How can you turn an English department into a revenue center? How do you grade students if they are "customers" you must please? How do you keep industry from dictating a university's research agenda? What happens when the life of the mind meets the bottom line? Wry and insightful, Shakespeare, Einstein, and the Bottom Line takes us on a cross-country tour of the most powerful trend in academic life today--the rise of business values and the belief that efficiency, immediate practical usefulness, and marketplace triumph are the best measures of a university's success. With a shrewd eye for the telling example, David Kirp relates stories of marketing incursions into places as diverse as New York University's philosophy department and the University of Virginia's business school, the high-minded University of Chicago and for-profit DeVry University. He describes how universities "brand" themselves for greater appeal in the competition for top students; how academic super-stars are wooed at outsized salaries to boost an institution's visibility and prestige; how taxpayer-supported academic research gets turned into profitable patents and ideas get sold to the highest bidder; and how the liberal arts shrink under the pressure to be self-supporting. Far from doctrinaire, Kirp believes there's a place for the market--but the market must be kept in its place. While skewering Philistinism, he admires the entrepreneurial energy that has invigorated academe's dreary precincts. And finally, he issues a challenge to those who decry the ascent of market values: given the plight of higher education, what is the alternative?

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Are you "getting on in years," or know someone who is? Thinking of changing your birth certificate to show a more favorable birth date? You may lie about your age, but your age won't lie to you
Not sure how to tell when you're about to reach that fun sixtieth birthday?
Here are some clues:
WebMD is your home page
When asked, "Who's your doctor?" you have to reply, "Which one?"
An outbreak of acne makes you feel like a teenager again
At your class reunion, you note with satisfaction that the captain of the football team wears a hearing aid
The meadows where you sowed your wild oats are now shopping malls
That empty seat on the bus has your name on it
Your pharmacist greets you with "What'll it be, pal?"
Getting older is not only fun . . . it's funny And with "You Know You're 60 When . . ., " you'll be laughing as you go kicking and screaming over the hill, happily clutching your chest