On November 22, 1963, curtain rod salesman Sam Vincent takes lunch in Dealey Plaza, Dallas, and awaits the arrival of President Kennedy. Sam eats his lunch while standing on a sewer grate, with no idea the president's true assassin crouches below, gun at the ready. This coincidence earns Sam a place in the "Outfit That Has No Name" and a new identity as Professor Vincent Samuel, publisher of The Magic Bulletin.

Thirty years later, brokerage clerk Peter Hokes attends a convention of assassination enthusiasts. In the midst of wild theories and a couple crazies, Peter remains fascinated with the Kennedy assassination and the mystery surrounding the president's death. He realizes appearances can be deceiving just as deceptions begin appearing all around him.

In Manhattan Peter's obsession with the assassination cost him Aretha Nally, the single lustrous person in his life. In Dallas his obsession carries additional costs. His innocuous research on the Red White and Blue Curtain Rod Company earns him a life-changing encounter with the mysterious Professor Samuel and permanent citizenship in the vast chaotic cauldron that constitutes conspiracy land.

In pursuit of their family history the Fords travel from the green waters of the Gulf of Mexico to the gray Baltic Sea. They visit the Southland and tour the old countries of Lithuania and Ireland. On their jaunts to the ancestral homes they also find history--the Old Town in Vilnius, the New Zion in Utah, ruins of medieval castles, nineteenth century coastal forts, morbid collections of Civil War surgical instruments, KGB headquarters, a lost cemetery, villages that wander the countryside, a church that has no name, and another church that used to be the Museum of Atheism.

They greet the searing morning sun in Florida and bade the sun good night in Palanga, reminding it not to forget to return the following day. They share stories with newly found cousins and they meet memorable characters--seated Mormons, a racist raconteur on Social Security, a befuddled pilgrim with a bad memory, former communists who haven't quite mastered suggestive selling techniques, and a kindly gas station attendant who knew where they were when they didn't.

In the whimsical tradition he is known for, humorist Dennis Ford once again embarks on an amusing exploration into the captivating worlds of science, literature, history, and popular culture-all without ever leaving the comfy air-conditioned interior of his Saturn Ion.

In the style of his previous work, "Thinking About Everything," Ford shares a medley of new musings on the worries of the world and the unique friendliness of San Antonio as he plays peek-a-boo with a spider, attempts to climb a rainbow, and captures a leprechaun. Ever the helpful humorist, Ford continues on a journey of thoughtful adventures through the mundane and esoteric as he explains how the postal service can mail itself into a profitable future, why fantastical lies can make elections more interesting, and a way through which one can acquire a window seat on the ferry to the Great Beyond. Included are "Excellent Groaners," a compilation of puns, and "Professor Fawcett's Notorious Lecture on Test-Irrelevant Thoughts," a learned presentation on the psychological perils of test anxiety told partly in acronyms.

"Miles of Thoughts" offers an amusing glimpse into one man's upside-down world as he commutes through the beautiful scenery of the New Jersey Pine Barrens and contemplates life.

Blair Bottoms journeys home after a tour of duty in Vietnam to discover the town he once knew is different. The Jersey Shore that bathed his childhood thoughts now appears corrupt and guilty. He never dreamed that through a tangled set of circumstances he would become an active participant in a web of lies, deceit, and murder. When he meets the captivating Melissa Noon, Blair instantly falls in love. But his love for her may not be enough to save him from the tragic course he's created. In the end, Blair must choose between protecting the woman he adores and securing his fortune no matter the cost. "Red Star" brilliantly shows how moral compromises can add up to a life completely changed and used in terrifying ways. It's about not losing our past-and believing in our future.

The land cannot restrain nineteen-year-old Jamie Drake who is nurturing a love affair with the sea. While this untamed beach kid lives on Chesapeake Bay, the blue-green waters constantly beckon beyond the dunes, summoning him to experience unforgettable nautical adventures. Jamie s mother is concerned that he has grown into an angry and querulous young man who shows no respect for authority in any guise, but Jamie is just anxious to get out from under his parents unyielding and watchful influence. Five weeks from high school graduation, Jamie meets Christine Powers, a glamorous visitor who hates the ocean. Instantly infatuated, Jamie replaces Anny Flanagan, his longtime girlfriend with Christine a choice unwisely made as Christine only sees Jamie as a way to punish her boyfriend. No sooner begun, their torrid affair ends chaotically when Christine deserts him. Rejected by Anny and in dire trouble with the school authorities, Jamie makes yet another hasty decision by daring to interfere with a jewel heist orchestrated by local mobsters. When his audacious plan goes awry, Jamie strives to elude the mobsters in a twilight flight across the angry waters of the Chesapeake Bay, testing his naive certainty that he will never die at sea.

Humorist Dennis Ford has seen it all. After all, he lives in New Jersey. As a teacher and bookseller, Ford contemplates some of life s great questions all without leaving his car. These include: What s the funniest word in the English language? How plastic surgery can turn devils into hotties. The case of the perfectly fitting police uniform. But Ford doesn t stop there. He also devises a master plan to win the war in Iraq and ease the burden on the military, explains how to apply for membership in the Society of Goths, and backs up his belief that while Jesus may have been resurrected, he most certainly wasn t crucified. Politics, religion, psychology, and popular culture it s all fair game. Ford takes on everything, shooting from the lip and saying out loud what everyone else keeps to themselves. Stop taking life so seriously and consider the lighter side of things in Thinking About Everything.

A Theology for a Mediated God introduces a new way to examine the shaping effects of media on our notions of God and divinity. In contrast to more conventional social-scientific methodologies and conversations about the relationship between religion and media, Dennis Ford argues that the characteristics we ascribe to a medium can be extended and applied metaphorically to the characteristics we ascribe to God-just as earlier generations attempted to comprehend God through the metaphors of father, shepherd, or mother. As a result, his work both challenges and bridges the gap between students of religion and media, and theology.

A Theology for a Mediated God introduces a new way to examine the shaping effects of media on our notions of God and divinity. In contrast to more conventional social-scientific methodologies and conversations about the relationship between religion and media, Dennis Ford argues that the characteristics we ascribe to a medium can be extended and applied metaphorically to the characteristics we ascribe to God-just as earlier generations attempted to comprehend God through the metaphors of father, shepherd, or mother. As a result, his work both challenges and bridges the gap between students of religion and media, and theology.