City boys Philip and Franklin have no idea what's in store for them when they move into a tiny vintage Airstream at bucolic Sawdust Pines, a gay/lesbian campground and trailer resort in Florida's remote Green Swamp. That's where they meet the former Rusty Rhodes, a talented cabaret singer who had long yearned to live in the body of his stage persona, Dusty Rose. For Dusty, the physical transformation to female has been less disruptive than her increasingly volatile relationship with background vocalist and camp social director Diana, who has manipulated the diva's many talents. When Dusty inexplicably vanishes midway through a special anniversary performance, suspicion quickly falls upon Philip and Franklin, whose golf cart (which is equipped with an anatomically erect Statue of David hood ornament) is implicated in a possible crime by ever-suspicious former nun Mary Angelique, life partner to demure former convent mate Mary Agnes. The newcomers and their neighbors on Grape Court (who are known as the Sour Grapes) have good reason to keep the cops away from the campground, and they strive to move heaven and earth to conceal critical information from a handsome but bewildered deputy sheriff who is assigned to probe the diva's disappearance. The Grapes are inadvertently abetted in their efforts to misdirect the authorities by the arrival of a tent city of hundreds of "pretend police" - men who worship men in uniforms. It's madcap mayhem as the real cops, the fake cops, the former nuns, and Philip and Franklin's campground pals probe the fate of the disappearing diva while dodging discovery of their own dubious activities. Only Father Jack Hoff, the campground's unofficial chaplain, who hears late-night confessions in his tool shed, has a clue as to the outcome. This dialogue-driven tale may be the queerest - and most hilarious - mystery story you'll ever read. So let the Sawdust Confessions begin...