This is a joke book – a collection of real conversations I’ve had with my offspring, or that they’ve had with me, mostly against my will. I started keeping records for my own entertainment when they began to talk properly.

Two-year-old: What’s that?
Me: My nipple.
Two-year-old: Is it dead?

I regretted teaching them to speak once pre-adolescence and Covid lockdowns arrived – life phases with equivalent survival strategies and effects.

Nine-year-old: Good news! While you were in your meeting, I finished your puzzle!
Me: …
Nine-year-old: I could see it was too hard for you.

Thirteen-year-old: I don’t like boys.
Me: Okay.
Thirteen-year-old: I like cats.
Me: Okay!
Thirteen-year-old: So … not your daughter, then.

I hope it never ends. Life is a set-up, and parenting is the punchline. As my mother once said, ‘I hope one day you have children. And then we’ll see who’s laughing.’

What makes the Platinum English first additional language course unique? Strong support for reading and writing skills, featuring annotations and models of all writing texts; integrated and explicit grammar teaching; predictable, consistent structure; high quality, relevant artwork; strong teacher support through explicit methods and assessment. Platinum! - Simply superior: superior CAPS coverage and written by expert authors; superior illustrations and activities to improve results and motivate learners; superior teacher support to save time and make teaching easy, including photocopiable worksheets. Superior quality = exam success!

What makes the Platinum English first additional language grade 12 course unique? Activities that focus on key content and skills; models of good texts and answers; word lists build vocabulary; grammar in context and in focus; themes and texts are contemporary and highly relevant to South African learners. Platinum - Simply superior: Superior CAPS coverage and written by expert authors; superior illustrations and activities to improve results and motivate learners; superior teacher support to save time and make teaching easy, including photocopiable worksheets. Superior quality = exam success!

Joanna Renfield’s life at The Fish Hoek Valley Museum of Natural History gets complicated when DNA testing links the museum’s only claim to fame – a twelve thousand-year-old skeleton nicknamed Fish Hoek Man – with Saartjie Baartman.

The media goes wild, the museum has a makeover, and Joanna gets a new Struggle veteran boss. She is here to teach Joanna a lesson – only it’s not the one either expects.

Violence and tragedy lurk in this seaside town, and when Joanna’s world is shaken to its core, it is up to her to find her own brand of muti. But how much of history is chance? And when does revenge become insanity?