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In this follow-up to his "hilarious yet soul-shaking" (Black
Enterprise) New York Times bestseller How Not to Get Shot, comedy
legend D. L. Hughley offers satirical terms for a peace treaty
between white America and the rest of humanity. For more than four
hundred years, white America has been safely a majority and has
used that power to f*ck with blacks, Hispanics, Asians, and Native
Americans. Now, however, the demographic tide has turned--and a
reckoning is coming. On the eve of America becoming a
majority-minority nation, D. L. Hughley advises, "Surrender, White
People!" and offers his terms for reparations and reconciliation in
this edgy book infused with his trademark blend of humor and
cutting social commentary. As Hughley explains, whites better make
their peace with their black and brown brothers while the getting's
still good. There's a lot to answer for: the United States has
subjugated African-Americans and other ethnic minorities since its
founding--from slavery to Jim Crow to modern police brutality.
Under the terms of Hughley's satirical agreement, white people will
stop having their police officers kill young black men, stop
poisoning the water, stop appropriating black culture, stop trying
to prevent black people from voting, and more. . . . In exchange,
black people will talk some sense into Kanye. And they shall keep
their opinions of white people's dance moves to themselves.
Surrender, White People! includes 25 black-and-white illustrations.
THE NATIONAL BESTSELLER Hughley uses his trademark humor to address
the stark divisions in society that stem from centuries of white
supremacy. --People Surrender, white people! After 400 years of
white supremacy in America, a reckoning is here. These are the
terms of peace-and they are unconditional. Hope you brought a sense
of humor, because this is gonna sting. After centuries of
oppressing others, white people are in for a surprise: You're about
to be a minority yourself. Yes, the face of America is getting a
lot browner--and a reckoning is coming. Black and brown folk are
not going to take a back seat anymore. It's time to surrender your
unjust privileges and sue for peace while the getting's still good.
Lucky for America, D.L. Hughley has a plan. On the eve of America
becoming a majority-minority nation, Hughley warns, the only way
for America to move forward peacefully is if Whites face their
history, put aside all their visions of superiority, and open up
their institutions so they benefit everyone in this nation. But we
can still have fun with this right? Surrender, White People!
hilariously holds America account for its wrongs and offers D.L.'s
satirical terms for reparations and reconciliation. But it's not
all bad news, white folks. The upside is that if you put D.L.'s
plan into effect, you can FINALLY get black people to stop talking
about oppression, discrimination, and their place in America. Now,
that's something we ALL can get behind.
A cutting satire of race relations in the age of Trump and Black
Lives Matter from the hugely popular comedian-one of "The Original
Kings of Comedy"-and author of the New York Times bestseller Black
Man, White House."White people are always giving out `helpful'
advice, such as: `Comply with the police and you won't get shot.'
They've been doling out advice to black people ever since `I
suggest you pick the cotton if you don't like getting whipped.' Not
getting shot by the police has long been a problem for black
people. Even when we had a black president! Now that we have a new
set of overlords, with President Trump at the head, wouldn't it be
nice to get a little advice on how not to get shot"From the
elections of Barack Obama and Donald Trump to the tragic events of
Ferguson and Charlottesville, the subject of race has come to the
forefront of American consciousness. Legendary satirist D. L.
Hughley offers his own cutting observations on this contentious
issue that continues to traumatize the nation, a wound made more
painful by the ongoing comments and actions of the 45th
president.Hughley uses humor to draw attention to injustice,
sardonically offering advice on a number of lessons, from "How to
make cops feel more comfortable while they're handcuffing you" and
"The right way to wear a hoodie" to "How to make white food, like
lobster rolls" and "Ten types of white people you meet in the
suburbs."Filled with illustrations and pictures that illuminate
these "lessons," How Not to Get Shot is a much-needed antidote in
these distressing times.
Children's animated musical adventure based on the Uncle Remus
folktales. Brer Rabbit (voice of Nick Cannon) is a mischievous and
adventurous rabbit who spends his time trying to outwit the other
animals around him including Brer Fox (D.L. Hughley) and Brer Bear
(Gary Anthony Williams).
New York Times Bestseller (Humor) "The book everyone is laughing
about!"--Joe Scarborough, Morning Joe For two centuries, presidents
hoping to secure their legacies have sought out biographers. But
who could possibly capture the inspiring yet bizarre reality of the
first black man to call the White House his crib, a tenure that
brought hope, change, and health care to millions, but also spawned
birthers, backlash, and the bewildering rise of Donald Trump?
Thankfully, as the end of President Barack Obama's pioneering two
terms in office drew near, the First Lady had a stroke of genius:
"Honey, all these presidential biographies are written by old white
guys. Why not hook a brother up for once?" Enter D.L. Hughley. When
the comedy legend got the call from the White House, he knew this
was the assignment of a lifetime. Of course he would become a
political biographer: what else could his decades of experience
bringing unflinching truth and hilarity to the American people have
been building toward? And so D.L. proudly raised his finger to "The
System"* and set out to record a true and accurate** oral history
of the Obama years, interviewing everyone from Obama's esteemed
Democratic colleagues in Washington to Republican pols who dare not
speak his name and segments of the "conservative base" who have
irrefutable proof that Obama is a Kenyan-born Muslim and Saddam
Hussein's second cousin thrice removed AND a Coldplay fan.
Protected by the Patriot Act and the promise of a presidential
pardon, Hughley bitch-slapped virtually every rule of journalism in
pursuit of his mission: hacking into Hillary Clinton's private
e-mail server; infiltrating Trump's tanning sessions; staking out
each of Mitt Romney's 752 mansions; even eavesdropping on Bill
Clinton's late-night escapades. At the end of it all, Hughley had
bravely assembled an explosive dossier that would make Edward
Snowden (and even the NSA) blush. Black Man, White House is the
culmination of these extraordinary comedic efforts, an
authoritative work on the Obama presidency that is destined to
enlighten and entertain patriots, scholars, and Yes-We-Can'ers for
generations to come. *The Dewey Decimal system. **What, librarians?
Go ahead and try to shelve this book in fiction.
"Let us begin by committing ourselves to the truth to see it like
it is, and tell it like it is." --Richard Nixon
"I believe America is the solution to the world's problems."
--Rush Limbaugh
"SHUT THE F#CK UP." --D. L. Hughley
The American dream is in dire need of a wake-up call. A f*cked up
society is like an addict: if you are in denial, then things are
going to keep getting worse until you hit bottom. According to D.
L. Hughley, that's the direction in which America is headed.
In "I Want You to Shut the F*ck Up," D.L. explains how we've become
a nation of fat sissies playing Chicken Little, but in reverse: The
sky is falling, but we're supposed to act like everything's fine.
D.L. just points out the sobering facts: there is no standard of
living by which we are the best. In terms of life expectancy, we're
36th--tied with Cuba; in terms of literacy, we're 20th--behind
Kazakhstan. We sit here laughing at Borat, but the Kazakhs are
sitting in their country reading.
Things are bad now and they're only going to get worse. Unless, of
course, you sit down, shut the f*ck up, and listen to what D. L.
Hughley has to say. "I Want You to Shut the F*ck Up" is a slap to
the political senses, a much needed ass-kicking of the American
sense of entitlement. In these pages," " D. L. Hughley calls it
like he sees it, offering his hilarious yet insightful thoughts on:
- Our supposedly post-racial society
- The similarities between America the superpower and the drunk
idiot at the bar
- Why Bill Clinton is more a product of a black upbringing than
Barack Obama
- That apologizing is not the answer to controversy, especially
when you meant what you said
- Why civil rights leaders are largely to blame for black people
not being represented on television
- Why getting your ghetto pass revoked should be seen as a good
thing, not something to be ashamed of
- And how hard it is to be married to a black woman
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