First published in 1922, this parody of etiquette and social mores makes fun of the pitfalls of courtship, engagement, and marriage, as well as such social settings as dinner parties, sporting events, and the theater. With satirical Jazz-era illustrations by Ralph Barton, known at the time for his caricatures of actors and other celebrities, the book's humor holds up remarkably well today, with such "crises" as how to deal with a screaming baby in a crowded, confined space or how to write a proper love letter to one's fiancee. With Marx Brothers-like literary slapstick, Perfect Behavior is the perfect impulse gift for anyone who enjoys a good laugh over everyday social foibles.

Were there not some amid all that fashionable throng in whom ideals of purity and true womanhood lived-- some who cared enough for the sacredness of real love to cry upon this hollow mockery that was being used to ensnare the simple, honest soldier? There was only one, and she was at that moment entering the drawing room for the purpose of being presented to the general. Need I name her.

The first thing to do on arriving at a symphony concert is to express the wish that the orchestra will play Beethoven's Fifth. If your companion then says "Fifth what?" you are safe with him for the rest of the evening; no metal can touch you. If, however, he says "So do I"--this is a danger signal and he may require careful handling.

Were there not some amid all that fashionable throng in whom ideals of purity and true womanhood lived-- some who cared enough for the sacredness of real love to cry upon this hollow mockery that was being used to ensnare the simple, honest soldier? There was only one, and she was at that moment entering the drawing room for the purpose of being presented to the general. Need I name her.

Were there not some amid all that fashionable throng in whom ideals of purity and true womanhood lived-- some who cared enough for the sacredness of real love to cry upon this hollow mockery that was being used to ensnare the simple, honest soldier? There was only one, and she was at that moment entering the drawing room for the purpose of being presented to the general. Need I name her.

The first thing to do on arriving at a symphony concert is to express the wish that the orchestra will play Beethoven's Fifth. If your companion then says "Fifth what?" you are safe with him for the rest of the evening; no metal can touch you. If, however, he says "So do I"--this is a danger signal and he may require careful handling.