The Semi-Complete Guide to Sort of Being a Gentleman might be the most irresponsible book written since The Bible. And a bible it is, in its own right, for the billions of men alive today who have no clue how to behave in public or private situations. Drawing from literally thousands of his countless private journals and personal scribblings, author Sir Gentleman Brock LaBorde, Esquire, this century's self-proclaimed Master of Social Etiquette, painstakingly outlines his complex and erroneous guidelines for the impossible attainment of the ambiguous title of gentleman. Impolitely smearing the footsteps left by previous well-respected etiquette gurus, Gentleman Brock pompously dissects all aspects of a modern gentleman's life, including: Knowing when to mutilate yourself The proper way to burp the Pope Inviting yourself to parties Extreme handkerchief maintenance Dispensing needless advice to strangers The Semi-Complete Guide to Sort of Being a Gentleman is valuable for any man who wishes to learn how not to act in his everyday life. It is also valuable because a certain amount of paper, money, paper money, and other resources were used to print and distribute this book.