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The Silly Thing is an account of a woman's acceptance of and
struggle with living and dying with a grade 4 glioblastoma, an
aggressive cancer of the brain. It is told from the perspective of
her daughter, Esther Ramsay-Jones, a psychotherapist and academic.
The book discusses the fears that people might have about dying and
specifically about brain cancer: for the author's mother, the
tumour affected her speech and, as an English teacher, whose life
had so intimately been tied up with language the fear of language
loss was at times unbearable. From a psychotherapeutic point of
view, the book will explore what it means to be given a terminal
diagnosis and what kinds of psychological responses the 'patient'
and family members might have. It will touch on notions of family
systems theory, and the roles people might then take up as reaction
to the news. The author also looks at 'difficult conversations' in
palliative care - what might help/what might hinder - and the value
of listening skills, capacity for attunement and containment, in
staff teams and in the medical profession at large. Though the main
focus in this book is her mother's experience, vignettes from the
lived experience of practising palliative psychotherapy will be
woven into the narrative to highlight the value of talking and
sharing fears, anger, confusion, loves and gratitude with those who
are dying.
Informed by the author's work in dementia care and palliative care
as a psychodynamic psychotherapist, Holding Time contributes to an
increasing recognition of the importance and value of
relationship-centred care in this field. Most of the book is
written ethnographically and unfolds as a narrative. It also
includes the real words of staff and residents from the care homes
in which she conducted observations. Holding Time explores how the
relational investment in care is vital alongside a technical one.
The book does this by detailing the micro-interactions of everyday
care and concern and play before moving out on to a wider,
organisational and macro stage. It addresses our fears about
dependency on a societal level, and attempts to challenge the
foregrounding of the independent, rational individual over all
other experiences. The author's contribution is particular to the
UK dementia care home setting, and offers a predominantly
psychoanalytic take. It is a contemporary exploration of the
dementia care field, and contributes to the general movement to
improve care of those living (and working) with dementia.
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