THE END Still the deep depression, thoughts of my own death Still the sleepless nights, no comfort in my bed Still the feeling I don't belong, after all these years of help Still the lifelong battle, the fight that takes my breath Still pushing people away, the friends I'll never have That Vietnam is always there, at night I go to hell I thought I'd reached a compromise, but all to no avail It's still within me, all the demons; death is at the ready for that one last rusty nail Post traumatic stress they call it, in me, a life long threat I feel I'm going backwards, the anger comes in waves Sleepless nights, the taunting dreams, still the feeling of insane A never ending battle, thoughts of suicide now a game So many years of fighting this, I fear I've lost my will Death itself means nothing, the demons in me still The marriage I'm in, the love I feel, doesn't dismiss my sins Depression getting the better of me, the devil always wins This poem is at the end to show there's no respite It's always there, this life long battle, in me and by myself Nothing more to write now, all is said and done I love my wife, she's all I have, but those fires of hell have surely won