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There is a story of two "smart" Yankees, one named Hosea and the
other Hezekiah, who met in an oyster shop in Boston. Said Hosea,
"As to opening oysters, why nothing's easier if you only know how."
"And how's how?" asked Hezekiah. "Scotch snuff," replied Hosea,
very gravely-"Scotch snuff. Bring a little of it ever so near their
noses, and they'll sneeze their lids off." "I know a man who knows
a better plan," observed Hezekiah. "He spreads the bivalves in a
circle, seats himself in the centre, reads a chapter of Artemus
Ward to them, and goes on until they get interested. One by one
they gape with astonishment at A. Ward's whoppers, and as they gape
my friend whips 'em out, peppers away, and swallows 'em."
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