It is impossible to talk about 20th century comedy without discussing George Carlin.

Named the 2nd greatest standup of the 20th century by both Comedy Central and Rolling Stone, Carlin garnered multiple gold records, 4 Grammys, 6 Emmy nominations, and the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. He was the first host of SNL, appeared on the Tonight Show some 130 times, and acted in beloved films like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Dogma. Dubbed "the dean of counterculture comedians," George Carlin was an American icon.

A perfect introduction for new fans and a worthy addition to the collections of old fans, The Best of Carlin showcases the longevity, range, and - above all - hilarity of the master. Filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other delicious verbal ordeals, it is drop-dead funny tour through Carlin's mind.

More than ten years after his death, Carlin's characteristically ironic takes on life's annoying universal truths remain thoughtful, fearless, and somehow more relevant than ever.

On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?--infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics: Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices.Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been?Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"?Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.

A hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations from the New York Times bestselling author of Brain Droppings. Few comics make the transition from stage to page as smoothly or successfully as George Carlin. Brain Droppings spent a total of 40 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and this new one is certain to tickle even more ribs (and rattle a few more cages) with its characteristically ironic take on life's annoying universal truths. In Napalm & Silly Putty, Carlin doesn't steer clear of the tough issues, preferring instead to look life boldly in the eye to pose the questions few dare to ask: How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite?Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people cook that stuff?In the expression "topsy-turvy," what exactly is meant by "turvy"? And he makes some startling observations, including: Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Carlin also waxes wickedly philosophical on all sorts of subjects, including: KIDS--They're not all cute. In fact, if you look at them closely, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either.DEATH ROW--If you're condemned to die they have to give you one last meal of your own request. What is that all about? A group of people plan to kill you, so they want you to eat something you like? Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistibly insouciant assortment of musings, questions, assertions, and assumptions guaranteed to please the millions of fans waiting for the next Carlin collection--and the millions more waiting to discover this comic genius.

The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, George Carlin shares all-new, cutting-edge opinion and observational humor in Brain Droppings. Filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny. Carlin unleashes his opinions on "People Who Should Be Phased Out" (guys with creases in their jeans, people who know a lot of prayers by heart) and "Seven Things I'm Tired Of" (geeks with Walkmans, clothing with writing on it, having to read cloud descriptions in a book). He even offers the never-before-revealed "Guide to Dining Out" (order unusual things: a chopped corn sandwich with diced peas and rye potato chips). From nonsense such as "Eventually there will come a time when everyone is in a band" to the ultimately profound "It is impossible to dry one hand", you'll get a look inside Carlin's mind, and you won't be disappointed. Carlin demolishes everyday values and yet leaves you laughing out loud. You'll learn what he thinks of sports fans, how he would improve the TV networks, his suggestions for Legal Murder Once a Month, and his plan for World Peace Through Constant Dancing. Also included are two classic Carlin monologues - "A Place for My Stuff" and "Baseball and Football".

Now in paperback, this posthumous work by an American classic was a fitting last book, an instant bestseller, and a huge success! One of the undisputed heavyweight champions of American comedy, with nineteen appearances on the Johnny Carson show, thirteen HBO specials, five Grammys, and a critical Supreme Court battle over censorship under his belt, George Carlin saw it all throughout his extraordinary fifty-year career, and made fun of most of it. Last Words is the story of the man behind some of the most seminal comedy of the last half century, blending his signature acerbic humor with never-before-told stories from his own life, including encounters with a Who's Who of 1970s celebrity-from Lenny Bruce to Hugh Hefner-and the origins of some of his most famous standup routines. Carlin's early conflicts, his long struggle with substance abuse, his turbulent relationships with his family, and his triumphs over catastrophic setbacks all fueled the unique comedic worldview he brought to the stage. From the heights of stardom to the low points few knew about, Last Words is told with the same razor-sharp wit and unblinking honesty that made Carlin one of the best-loved comedians in American history.

With hundreds of sold-out concert dates each year, over 20 albums, two Grammys, two Cable ACE awards, and more HBO specials that anyone else, George Carlin is more popular than ever. Now Carlin's "New York Times" bestselling book comes to paperback. Filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other delicious verbal ordeals, "Brain Droppings" is drop-dead funny.

Now in paperback, the New York Times bestseller that takes readers on a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premier comics George Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display in When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence in his third national bestseller. Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Clichs; Euphemisms: 13 sections) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin delivers everything that his fans expect, and then adds a few surprises. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

A hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations from the New York Times bestselling author of Brain Droppings.

Few comics make the transition from stage to page as smoothly or successfully as George Carlin. Brain Droppings spent a total of 40 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, and this new one is certain to tickle even more ribs (and rattle a few more cages) with its characteristically ironic take on life's annoying universal truths.

In Napalm & Silly Putty, Carlin doesn't steer clear of the tough issues, preferring instead to look life boldly in the eye to pose the questions few dare to ask:

• How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that it's a spy satellite?
• Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people cook that stuff?
• In the expression "topsy-turvy," what exactly is meant by "turvy"?
• And he makes some startling observations, including:
• Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
• Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.
• Most people don't know what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

Carlin also waxes wickedly philosophical on all sorts of subjects, including:

• KIDS -- They're not all cute. In fact, if you look at them closely, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either.
• DEATH ROW -- If you're condemned to die they have to give you one last meal of your own request. What is that all about? A group of people plan to kill you, so they want you to eat something you like?

Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistibly insouciant assortment of musings, questions, assertions, and assumptions guaranteed to please the millions of fans waiting for the next Carlin collection -- and the millions more waiting to discover this comic genius.