Ceremony as therapy Formal ceremonies seem to be universal in human experience, addressing something very deep and basic in the human psyche. They tap into that vast subconscious reservoir of wisdom and strength that every human being possesses. To these qualities ceremonies add their own understandings of life and of God. They emphasize the presence of God in all things. The important transitions in our lives inevitably create anxietyeven happy transitions, such as weddings. We move from the familiar to the unknown. Our role in the community may change, which means that we will be treated differently. Sometimes it is our own sense of who we are that changes. We seek to live differently. All of these changes have an anxiety of their own. Ceremonies use the languages of the heartmetaphor, poetry, meditation, music, liturgy, and dramato address those anxieties. Bypassing the sterility of logic and analysis, a ceremony evokes the power to affirm and to heal that straightforward rational communication cannot touch. A ceremony has the quality of set-apartness. Something special is happening! Words spoken in a ceremony will have much more impact than those same words would have in a more ordinary context. A ceremony brings new perspective to things with which we struggle. Many ceremonies enlist the support of one's community. The leader often represents one's spiritual tradition, and other members of the community may be present. Even if the ceremony is done in the privacy of one's home or of a therapist's or pastor's office, others are present in the participant's imagination. Ceremonies also involve God, whose presence is acknowledged and whose blessing and support are assured. The ceremonies presented here are down-to-earth and practical. They can easily be adapted to many situations, and can stimulate the reader to create his/her own ceremonies to meet the unique needs of the persons to whom he/she ministers. Some of the ceremonies in this book are for use in a public place: weddings funerals a ceremony for grieving Others are more private, for use in a pastor's/therapist's office or in one's home: adoption funeral for an aborted baby support for a rape survivor the commitment to stop smoking addressing children's phobias leaving home forgiving another person forgiving oneself and more This book is a first! Not just a discussion about ceremonies, but a collection of ceremonies addressing a wide variety of situations! It will be innovative and insightful reading for pastors, therapists, and others for whom the languages of analysis and logic are not enough.

Don't let hurt feelings cause undue harm-learn to make use of the healing power of forgiveness Charting different paths through feelings of betrayal, oppression, and humiliation, this compassionate book will help you understand forgiveness, find it within yourself, and pass this important knowledge to others. The poignant stories in Becoming a Forgiving Person show how anyone can manage feelings of victimization and quench the lust for vengeance. You'll gain a deeper understanding of the dynamics of being hurt, the inner struggles needed to truly forgive, and methods and skills for practicing forgiveness. Combining religious and psychological insight, Becoming a Forgiving Person examines how forgiveness can enhance feelings of self-esteem, freedom, and intimacy. The personal stories in these pages illuminate the futility of revenge and show why apologies don't always help. You'll be inspired by these lessons on how to forgive yourself and other people by tapping into levels of spirituality that are deeper than the grievances you need to forgive. With its fascinating new perspectives on betrayal, revenge, apology, and reconciliation, Becoming a Forgiving Person will show you: how to forgive without waiting for apologies ways to find personal power and increase self-esteem strategies for cultivating networks of supportive people to help you-or anyone-through difficult times tactics for getting on with your life and finding inner peace how and where to find opportunities to practice forgiveness This book also contains an appendix that lists various types of offenses and another that explores how to respond to one of the most hurtful situations imaginable-the accusation of incest-in a way that bypasses denial and power struggles and works toward reconciliation. Becoming a Forgiving Person is a book that can help anyone who needs to learn to forgive-or who endeavors to help others accomplish that daunting task.