The trauma and grief of growing up in an alcoholic or addicted family create a lifetime of baggage. If you grew up in an addicted family, the dysfunction that permeated every aspect of your childhood may have seemed 'normal, ' and you may not even realize the level of affect alcohol still has on your adult life whether or not "you" drink.

If you are one of the millions of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs), the cost of your childhood pain can be unbearable. You may have learned how to 'survive, ' but are you 'living' your life? Do you fear normal conflict? Do you blame yourself when something goes wrong even when it isn't your fault? Are you a chaos junkie? Or do you just fear relationships because they are too difficult or too painful?

Having devoted much of their careers to working with ACOAs, therapists Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell now take a deeper look into the origin and cost of childhood pain, as well as the grief resolution process that is integral to recovery. This revised and expanded edition of their groundbreaking 1986 hit "After the Tears" discusses the latest research and offers insights on living a good life despite a dysfunctional childhood by tackling issues such as intimacy, sibling relationships, codependency, breaking the alcoholic pattern, building a relationship with the inner child, forgiveness, and opening a window to spirituality. "

""It is my feeling that debilitating shame and guilt are at the root of all dysfunctions in families," says Jane Middelton-Moz."

A few common characteristics of adults shamed in childhood:

• You may suffer extreme shyness, embarrassment and feelings of being inferior to others. You don't believe you "make" mistakes, you believe you "are" a mistake.
  
• You feel controlled from the outside and from within. You feel that normal spontaneous expression is blocked.
  
• You may suffer from debilitating guilt; you apologize constantly.
  
• You have little sense of emotional boundaries; you feel constantly violated by others; you frequently build false boundaries.
  

If you see yourself in any of these characteristics, you can learn how shame keeps you from being the person you were born to be and how to change that. "Shame And Guilt" describes how debilitating shame is created and fostered in childhood and how it manifests itself in adulthood and in intimate relationships. Through the use of myths and fairytales to portray different shaming environments, Dr. Middelton-Moz allows you to reach the shamed child within you and to add clarity to what could be difficult concepts. Read "Shame and Guilt" - you're worth it.